After sifting through hundreds of entries, here are the Finalists as chosen by our crack team of webminers. Now all you gotta do is vote for your favorite joke, and next weekend we’ll award Le Prix de Impressionnant.
Finalists’ entries are below the poll.
Here are the entries in the order received:
B.C.
Obama.
Dan
This one’s my original:
If you know what brand of beer your dog prefers, you might be a redneck.
Tattoo Jim
This is one my grand-dad used to say:
Just keep smiling… it makes everybody wonder what you’ve been up to.
amy
yellow
phil cordery
one of my father’s on other people’s driving habits
“You couldn’t drive a greasy stick up a dead dogs arse”
Chuck Gibbs, RN
I think it was Baxter Black who published a list of cowboy wisdom ‘don’t’s which included:
“Don’t fry bacon in the nude.”
“Don’t squat with your spurs on.”
and my personal favorite:
“Don’t drink downstream from the herd.”
Sexual harrassment accusation – “He explored more bottom than Jacque Cousteau.”
Of course, the difference between naked and nekkid always made me laugh. Naked you don’t have clothes on, nekkid you don’t have clothes on and are up to something.
Point to ponder – If space travelers made it to Earth, indicating a technology gap (like throwing rocks compared to nuclear weapons), why would they need big honkin’ navigation lights on their terrestrial exploration vehicles? What could they not avoid or, better yet, what could even remotely come close to hittin’ them?
Saw a interweb post recently ranting about a lady shopper racin’ through the local store where the blogger shopped, almost causing cart-related accidents hither and yon. She wrote of wanting to shout at the reckless women something to the effect of “Slow down ! You’re not shopping for jack rabbits (although that would be way cool) !”
wheels
I had a custom button made once that read, “If you can’t get your work done in a 24-hour day, work nights.”
I’m also fond of last year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival winner: “Hedgehogs. Why can’t they just share the hedge?”
Alessandra
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
planetross
“Raisins are inbred.”
Tacky Raccoons 
Planetross’ is a masterpeice. One line, shiort, to the point, and tasty, too.
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Off topic but I have a momma raccoon with three babies coming in to eat every night – and we LOVE those tacky raccoons! Nothing cuter.
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Chuck– You have some hoots, too.
Rose– Send me some photos!
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Monsieur Gibbs is a Young Man of taste und DisCrimination
BUT let us not lose sight of one of the Great InJustices of our Time, even on this Blogge most EnTertaining
Das ist doch ein Outrage – was ein Qvizz so pas-de-satisfactorie
This EAGLE has been verBoten from Voting for Her Grace La Marchionesse Scarlet de la Raincoaster plus de once
UND
(having voted for Her Grace) this Eagle cannot now vote for the Witty und Aimiable Amy … or for that most velcome Mr Gibb
Schocking
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Herr Eagle– It would be disingenuous at the least to reopen a poll that has been up for a week, especially one that was advertised a week prior. It appears that Sr. Wheels and ミスター Planetross are in a dead heat. Revisit this site on 10/10/10 at 10:10:10 PST for the tie-breaking poll.
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wow .. i actually got a vote.. awsome.. and even more amazing, i didnt do it
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amy– Apparently someone thinks yellow is funny.
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Hey Bunk!
I need to visit much more often…. matchra’ fact, I’m gonna make ‘Tacky Raccoons’ my homepage!
Are you going to have any other contests of sorts coming up in the future?
I didn’t know about this one, but I put my vote in~
Cheers!
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Dan–
Muchismas grassyass. Been managing one post a day for a few years now. Our aim is quality, not quantity, with the assumption that most readers here have PASD (Post Attention Span Disorder) as I do.
No contests are planned for now, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have another sometime.
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