Category: Babe Magnet

3 Hot Chicks and a Hot Car

Nothing like a little innocuous innuendo in a post title to generate a cheap and sleazy traffic spike.

Speaking of the classic “Hot Rod Lincoln,” here’s the version that was covered by Johnny Bond, that was covered by Roger Miller, that was covered by Commander Cody, that was covered by Asleep At The Wheel:

Charlie Ryan & the Timber Riders hit the charts on 9 May 1960 with “Hot Rod Lincoln” even though it was recorded in 1955. Unfortunately the videonazi bastards prevent embedding it here, so you gotta click to hear it.

[Image from here. Crossposted here.]

Retro Sleds

From the Conspicuous Consumption Department, these beautiful custom automotive works of retro art are priced in the seven figure range. Knowing that, I couldn’t sleep at night if one of these penismobiles were parked in my garage, but it’s nice to know that someone can.

[More at Delahaye USA. Link found at Nurse M.’s place.]

Babe Magnet Sharky

Well lookee here. We haven’t posted a Babe Magnet in a while, but this excellent Sharkmobile hit the radar screen door with a resounding splat heard ’round the  cul-de-sac. That it’s bleached and beached and unblocked on redneck ramps makes this mako all the more dangerous.  Pure efficient genius. THIS is a mean machine.

Sharkmobile is a True Babe Magnet. There are only three things that could make it better:

1.  A synchronized hydraulic system to allow it to leap and thrash through the asphaltic concrete surf of the metropoli of Northern California;

2.  A bass-heavy sound system broadcasting The Obvious Theme Song;

3.  Leggy bimbos with silicone implants in short shorts, oozing around the awesome parts (of the vehicle).

The drawback is that the owner has a ponytail and is possibly nicknamed “Skye,”  but that only affects the babe magnetage factor by -1 in this case. The creator of this Flathead 6 Isurus Paucus has a coolaborator and a website here.

[Found here. The story behind Telstar Logistics is pretty cool, too.  Our Archive of Babe Magnets are here.]

Babe, er, Chick Magnet

Babe Magnet Rooster

Nope, unh-unh, no way does this count as a Babe Magnet. It doesn’t even try to look cool, and it succeeds in its uncoolness by a factor of Stoopid. Given the intentional lack of cool, this could only be a pace car for the Dorque County Picnic Parade, decked out with pure efficient genius.

One can only imagine what hoofed beasts followed in its tire tracks, and we’re referring to the populace. (To be fair, I grew up on the outskirts of Dorque County. We had to dress up a mule instead.)

[Found here.]

Babe Magnet Guest House

Although it’s missing a community pool and spa with a game room, this looks pretty nice for my future retirement home. Except for inclement weather, you’ll likely find me sunning on the back porch, with a laptop and a cooler, waving to passersby, before the local constabulary asks me to move.

[Found in here.]

ChromaMobile Babe Magnet

ChromaMobile_Burning Man

NCC-1701, Beta Version.

[Found here.]

Babe Magnet: Look Sharpie!

sharpie Babe Magnet_Woosk 090511

Earl Scheib‘s got nothing on this guy.

Mr. Redshoes, you need more homework assignments so you can graduate and get a decent job to pay Earl for a strip and paint special.  Otherwise you’ll prolly have to pay someone to buy your four-wheeled artwork.

We also suggest you start saving for tatt removal laser work on that inkbooger you smeared on your forearm. Pure efficient genius.

[Image found here.  Don’t miss our World Famous Collection of Babe Magnets.]

Babe Magnet: Die KlinkerKar

Brick Babe Magnet_Daily Mixed 090520

Very little needs to be said about this brickbat mobile that isn’t intuitively obvious to the casual observer, except that the roof screams for asphalt shingles and vinyl gutters. Aluminum sliding windows would have been a nice touch.  No need for a carwash either, as a vinegar solution with a wire brush should keep the efflorescence in check for months. Pure efficient genius. We’ll even give him credit and kudos for the keystones.

Although he’ll never get a girlfriend built like a brick youknowwhat, at least Mr. Mason knows how to perpendicular park.

[Found here.]

Some Be Hatin’ on my Babe Magnet.

Bucks 'o Babe Magnet_ZanyPickle 090612

Wow. Somebody put a lot of thought and effort into magnetizing this 2006 Chevy Impotent while at the same time cleverly advertising his lack of graphic talent. So let’s break it down.

The windshield motto indicates that the owner of this beauty, Tyrone, has a prison record and we taxpayers certainly paid for his incarceration “All Day.”

It’s also intuitively obvious to the casual observer that he reads Playboy for the advertisements. The symbolism behind four pairs of red dice and the dollar signs suggests that Tyrone fancies himself a gambler, and he patronizes crimson casinos exclusively.

The front bumper indicates that at least two or more people hate him, and they’re all ex-girlfriends that he borrowed money from to recoup his lost wagers/wages.  I’ll bet it had something to do with his jail time.

The dashboard is carefully upholstered with a tailored moving blanket, and we can safely assume that the rest of the interior is similarly furnished. Pure efficient genius.

Then there’s the “Jesus” plate that makes it all seem better. Whatta ride.

[Found here. More babe magnetage here.]

Babe Magnet: Car d’boardage

Babe Magnet Cardboard Mod

When planning to turn a lame ride into something truly sucky, there are only four words to remember:  Corrugated Cardboard ‘N’ Duct Tape.  (The “N” word doesn’t count.)

So how do we analyze this pathetic attempt at true Babe Magnetage?  Hard to say.  But there are three likely scenarios.

1.  The owner of this Ford POS has absolutely no budget, but works in a parts warehouse with lots of, um, materials at hand.  He’s your run-of-the-mill petty thief, specializing in recyclables, and dreams about the world of industrial design while wishing he worked in a fiberglass plant;

2.   The owner of the Ford POS got peer-punked by co-dorks who had some off-time when the local Arby’s closed, and decided to give him a high school graduation present consisting of one last mockery;

3.  The owner of the Ford POS is a boob who ran out of spray paint to finish it off before attempting to sell the Ford POS on Ebay as an Eddie Bauer Edition.

We predict the project will be abandoned while still in its infancy.

The cardboard spoiler and skirts will be torn off leaving big ol’ honkin’ duct tape marks where the paint used to be, and the owner of the Ford POS will decide to up the ante for True Babe Magnet Status (think flat black spraypaint finish with green  and orange fluorescent spackle flames) before he dumps it off on his gullible younger brother for an amount that will take him years to pay off.

Pure efficient genius.

[Image found here. Excellent collection of more Babe Magnetage here.]

P.S. I keep forgetting to use the forbidden word “retarded.”