Category: Hot

Babe Magnet: Snow Pickup

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Oooh. This just reeks of serious Babe Magnetage.
(bob-A’ mog-neh-tahzh‘, fr., noun pl.)

The proud owner of this all-weather cruiser has mastered the art of cobbling together leftovers from Revelle models in full scale. No paint required. Bald front tires don’t matter, as the rear set provides traction, assisted by a rotted plywood box full of cobble ballast supported by seatbelt-strap come-alongs. The front tires act as skis. He’s also saved money on the headlights: one for hi-beam, one for low. Pure efficient genius.

“Hey, Babe, hop in! We goin’ to the tree-plowin’ competition! Sorry the heater don’t work, slide over here. I got the cd player installed underneath the seat (Yeah, the milk crate. I bolted it down this time. Here, put this cardboard on it) but weasels chewed up my speakers and now they just rattle. How ’bout singin’ Bobby McGee?”

[Images from here.]

Rock Candy

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Look here. Bunk knows peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and you, Reese, are no peanut butter and banana sandwich maker.

What young Bunky liked better were peanut butter and sweet pickle sandwiches, combining the flavor of Jif with the crunch of baby gerkins. And vice versa.

Fortunately, Reese acknowleged that these bastardized confections have artificial flavor, so you can rest assured that it doesn’t taste exactly like the King. They made up for the chicanery by labeling the bag, “Collector Edition,” thus snagging all the compulsive candy-collectors investors hoping to score big bucks months or years from now in the Reese’s Cups futures market.

So just how many bags do you have stashed away in your safe deposit box?

[Image from Bockety.]

Rubber (Duckies) Soul

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Neatorama is amazing. Their crack team of webminers found Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues recast as Rubber Duckies. Made me wanna take a warm bath with an 8-track player nearby belting out Sam and Dave’s Greatest Hits…

Until I followed the Neatorama link and found this:

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“Ah Pity Da Foo Who Don’t Lather, Rinse, Repeat!”

No way am I getting wet with Mr. T unless it’s raining. Other excellent Mr. T accouterments may be found here, here, and especially here.

Related Rubber Duckie report from the world-renowned Strutts News Services may be found here, and for you afficionados, more specific duck info here.

And Bunk just broke his own record for most links in a single post. G’head and click on ’em, but be back here in time for dessert, okay?

Over the River and Through the Woods…

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Snohomish, WA (Strutts News Services) – Renown whitewater daredevil William “Billy” Bear, holder of the Guinness World Record as the fastest kayak paddler, was approached by stunt promoter Robert “Bobby” Bieber in Bear’s favorite pub, “Sandy’s Roadkill Bar and Grille” on 1st Street in downtown Snohomish Thursday.

Bieber suggested an air-paddling exhibition across New Mexico’s Brazos River. Bear’s custom kayak had been damaged during his whitewater run through Snake River Canyon in October, and he was irritated at the proposal. But Bieber persisted, and Bear, after accepting the wager, agreed to rent one just for the stunt.

Weather was clear and the wind was steady as Bear launched his kayak off the cliff 75 feet above the churning rapids. Bear paddled furiously.

Fortunately for Bear, the canyon provided a lift, as the steady wind above became a gale below in the crevasse, allowing Bear to glide safely to the far side of the river, upwind and unharmed.

News In Brief: Bobby Bieber befriended belligerent Billy Bear, bargained bet (beaucoup bucks, bro). Bear balked, but Bieber bought Bear bourbon. Brave Billy borrowed boat before barely but buoyantly breaching Brazos. Bravo, Billy!

[Nope, not photoshopped. The guy is really in the air. Image via Professor Paddle.
Unrelated Brazos River Authority headline, “BRA SNAGS RUNAWAY DOCK” here.]

How to Create “Man-Made” Global Warming

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Step 1: Get a weather data station.

Step 2: Verify that it accurately records temperatures in the immediate vicinity.

Step 3: Locate it in an area that will drastically skew the temperature readings.

Step 4: Burn your trash in a nearby incinerator and laugh and laugh and laugh while polluting the atmosphere. (For more fun, locate it near an airconditioning compressor and/or clothes dryer vent, and make sure your barbeque grille is close, too.)

Step 5: Transmit the data collected to advocates of the “man-made” Global Warming theory.

Step 6: Deny any and all data anomalies.

Step 7: Apply for a government (i.e., taxpayer-funded) grant and get paid for further study.

[Originally saw this photo in a report on global warming fallacies, written by a girl in Junior High School. She surveyed weather data collectors in her area and found that a large number were set up in odd locations, like asphalt parking lots, adjacent to exhaust fans, etc. I cannot find the original story/link, so if any readers can help, I’ll post it here with credit.]

3D Wii-Lee

Normally we save video links for our regular Saturday Matinee posts, but this one seemed to be more fit for the work week. I don’t have a Wii and have never seen one let alone touched one (no puns please) but Johnny Chung Lee‘s hack looks very clever. Ignore the fact that he sounds a little like Dudley Do-Right. Lee is brilliant!

[Video via No Puedo Creer.]

[¡Bienvenidos a los de OPCIONWEB! (Lo siento para mi espanol, porque soy un anglopedo.) Hay cuidado, porque las chistas que viven aqui tienen recuerdas… Dejar un rastro de migas de pan para que pueda encontrar su salida.]

The Hills Have Eyes

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Satellite photograph of the San Diego Zoo in April of 2006 with a 23,000x zoom lens. Amazing detail.

No, wait… that’s a photo of Jesse, my friend at the Philip Carey Plant, who showed me how to throw-and-stack 160 lb. barrels of asphalt steep into a truck when I was a tall scrawny 140 lb. teenager, and he was mad because of what the foreman did, and…

Hold on… Okay, I remember now. That’s me when the doorbell rang at 7:01AM one Sunday morning three years ago and the guys in the black suits asked me if I’d been “saved” yet, and…

It’s really a photo from an electron microscope of a typical dust mite that lives in bed sheets and pillows, and eats dead flakes of skin and…

Goodnight, kids.

[Image from Arbroath.]

Fear of Flying

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Sometimes a person’s aptitudes and weaknesses don’t quite mix with the occupation.

[Gotta quit posting images from DRB.]

Bunk Speaks

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Folks,

We’ve noticed a few broken links on past posts. If any of you happen to notice videos that don’t play, images that don’t load, lettuce know, and we’ll do our best to fix ’em. YouTube is kinda notorious for pulling videos, and if they yank ’em, we won’t know unless you tell us. Leave a comment on the post with the damaged linkage and we’ll give it a bandage, because, after all, readers of TackyRaccoons visit this site for perfection, and you rock.

Bunk

P.S. TackyRacoons made it past the first cut for January at www.iblogcup.com. 2nd elimination round is going on so vote once a day, but only if you really want to. Maybe we’ll win a cupcake or something. If so, we’ll share it with you because we like to share. It’s just the way we are. Sometimes.

[UPDATE: Tacky Raccoons came in 4th place in January, but there were apparently some shenanigans going on according to the webmaster. Sorry, no cupcake.]

Saturday Matinee: PoorHamsterElPasoPleasePleasePlease

Here’s the original English version of “Poor Hamster.”

Pleasant harmonies with a good plot and a twisted father with a lot of video editing time makes this a must see. Bunk has been out of the loop on this one, but gives it 5 stars. (2 stars go to the cloying animated version.)

A related song immediately comes to mind. Here’s Marty!

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I don’t know how Marty Robbins pulled this one off, but here’s the MTV clip of his hit “El Paso” from 1959. The late Imogene Coca appears in a cameo as “Bellina.”

And speaking of Ike Turner, he passed on to Rock N Roll Heaven this past week.

Ike and his Kings of Rhythm recorded what’s regarded as the first Rock N Roll hit in 1951 with “Rocket 88.” Regardless of what you think of him, Ike & Tina Turner’s Rhythm & Blues Review was also very influential, but without the Ikettes, and especially Tina, he’d have been left as a footnote in the Cobra Records archives. (Ike’s in the gray Nehru jacket in the middle, but who’s that white guy on rhythm guitar? Steve Cropper?)

This is the best version of James Brown‘s “Please Please Please” that I’ve ever heard. Tina was amazing when Janis Joplin was still taking notes.

[“Poor Hamster” English version from here. Marty Robbins’ pic from here. His video is from the UToobage. Ike & Tina from here.]