“Why won’t you come when your sister calls?!”
“Why won’t you come when your sister calls?!”
“Why won’t you come when your sister calls?!”
Category: Odd
Yet Another Great Gift Idea
Just imagine… You have a holiday get together with your neighbors (the ones you actually talk to, not the one that has that strange odor coming from his house, or the ones with the 45-year-old son who never left home and lays face-down on the lawn across the street when you go to get the mail, or the one with three hearses in the driveway.)
A nice holiday gathering. A Hawai’ian theme complete with the apostrophe. Huge yellowfin and shark steaks are on the grille, and YOU bring out the salt. Not just any salt. Alaea Hawai’ian Sea Salt.
All your invited neighbors are visibly impressed with your obviously refined taste and culture.
Except for me, you dork. You bought into this? But I won’t tell it to your face. I’ll just smile and compliment you on your obviously refined taste and culture. Then I’ll make an innocuous comment about global warming and how OUR household is stopping it by changing the incandescent lightbulb outside our front door to a fluorescent lamp.
But tomorrow, I’ll have a good laugh with the 45-year-old neighbor’s son while we lay face down in the grass in front of the house with the three hearses next to the one that smells funny, and we’ll watch you get your mail and change your lightbulbs.
[Don’t creep out, it’s all in fun. “Salt-of-the-Month-Club” is available in limited quantities from The Onion. Looks like a great gift idea to me. I’d host the block party if I got it, fer shure (hint hint hint). —Bunk]
NG Almost Picks Up Strutts News Services Story
Zanesville, Ohio (Strutts News Services) –
This month’s issue of the National Geographic was originally designed to feature the award-winning photo and story of the herd of captured Indricotheria, as first reported to TRITE (TackyRaccoons Investigation Team East, Strutts News Services) by doctoral candidates Mr. Lannie Foosers and Ms. Toonci Crumbler of the Cerro Gordo Oceanic Institute on this very website.
Foosers and Crumbler were all jumpy and jivey excited until they discovered that their ground-breaking contribution was neither acknowleged by National Geographic Magazine, nor was the story with the now-famous accompanying photo even published.
NatGeo Senior Apprentice-Editor-In-Training Bob “Bobby” Bieber explained his decision to spike the story. “The claims in the full-page NexLoid Chromioplasty advertisement were easier to confirm, so we shelved the Indricotheria blurb for now.”
[Okay, okay… NatGeo cover is from MagMyPic, and then I messed with it just a little. Still missing the original source for the original photo of the Indricotheria.]
Another Great Christmas Gift Idea
Helps children to improve self-esteem, at least for the one who goes first. Boys go first on the blue one; Girls go first on pink (not shown).
[Image from EatLiver.]
International Blog Cup “Competition” Results
I know all of you were waiting with bait-breath to find out if Tacky Raccoons made the first round cut in the “International Blog Cup” competition. We didn’t, even though I, Bunk, voted for myself twice each day for a week.
On the plus side, TR won well over 48% of the votes against a dopey music video advertisement website that takes no talent to post. Bill Clinton got elected President by a smaller percentage. Bunky regards the loss as a bittersweet victory.
34 to 32 is the final count, and TR conceded to our worthy opponent last night at about 11:55PM. 34 votes for our worthy opponent equals only five people who voted each day for a week and who like music videos posted on a bland website that gets it’s material solely from YouTube, and posted without commentary. Oooh. Beat me, Daddy, Eight to the Bar. Smacked down by a bot.
But we have more fun, don’t we. Heh.
[Image above from Hanuman showing all 32 TR hits. All in fun. –Bunk]
Wrong. Just wrong. Wait. Maybe It’s Right.
Yep she’s preggo. Yep, she’s a Red Sox fan. And yep, there’s someone who specializes in adorning preggo bellies with graphics. Thank God it’s not me. Funny that someone would want a stranger painting their gut, slightly disturbing that someone else enjoys doing it for them, and scary that a lot of you don’t believe me and are going to click on the link to see more. Don’t do it.
[Link from GrowABrain, image with more preggo belly designs here.]
Saturday Matinee: Past Future & Present Past
Vodpod videos no longer available. from s166.photobucket.com posted with vodpod
No Way. Can’t happen. Get outta here. [Via Snopes.]
1960 precursor to Star Trek from East Germany, according to the U-to0bage description:
Here’s a look at “the world’s largest supercomputer” in the socialist utopian future predicted by a 1960 East German science fiction film
The movie is “Der Schweigende Stern,” released in the west as “First Spaceship on Venus.”
Like other Soviet-bloc films, it forecast a utopian future in which socialist scientific advancement led the world.
In this scene, the scientists are using the supercomputer to decipher an alien message recorded on a device ejected from an alien spacecraft before it crashed.
And speaking of Star Trek, one of the funniest Saturday Night Live clips, (with William Shatner as Captain Kirk, Chevy Chase as Spock, Bill Murray as Bones, on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise after the series was canceled) should have appeared below. But NBC apparently convinced uT00B and g00ggle to drop all the video links for copyright violations. It’s as if NBC wanted to erase all evidence of the years when Saturday Night Live was actually funny.
So here’s this gem [originally scheduled for a later post]: The Dap-Kings featuring Sharon Jones. Music & video uses 1960’s technology for recording and taping this modern band with the stylings of early R&B. “Almost Aretha” is a pretty good compliment.
Finally a Raccoon Banner
Middle of the night. Tired. You just passed through the woods from Gramma’s house, and crossed over the river. You see him in your headlights. He’s there, standing in the middle of the road. He dares you to hit him, knowing that your wife and kids are in the car, not quite asleep. You slowly brake to a stop, wondering what to do next. Defiance charges the air with electrical impulses unseen in the damp humid darkness, felt only by the hairs on your unshaven back. You can’t back down, yet you recoil after coiling. That haunting apparition…
[Good God. Will Someone PLEASE finish this in the Comments Section? Otherwise it’s just gonna get worse, and I don’t wanna take responsibility for what might happen next.]
[Image source here, via Your Daily Awesome.]
Too Much Time
BrerRick emailed me about the lolferret post. Said that someone’s got, “Waaay too much time on their hands,” even though the post was of “Bosley,” a ferret owned by the Weasel, a mutual friend.
Well, bro, if you work efficiently and play efficiently, one can find oneself with enough time to pay the bills, do the laundry, feed the lolpossums and oil the cat, scour the shovel, and still have time left over to post utter absurdities on our favorite website.
Unfortunately, eating and sleeping is a necessary waste of time, kinda like having to put your pants on when you’re not going outside. Kinda like making your bed when it’s just gonna get messed up again. Kinda like surfing the internest for posts and limiting the search to the sites that already link to yours.
I can’t possibly have too much time, and neither can you. Always look through the mud for the rainbow in the windshield, or you might end up like her.
[Photo via Arbroath.]
Where Do They Go?
[Speaking of Natural Expressions, here’s this from SNTC.]
Tacky Raccoons 