28 IF (or not).
Featuring “The Long and Winding Rowan.”
Beat the Meatles.
“For the Benefit of Mr. T, there will be a foo who see
dat we ain’t gonna take no mo’ dat jibba jabba
at Bishop’s Gate…”
“One Shlep Beyond…”
[.Gif from GrowABrain, others from here via AmyOops.]
Gotta give credit to the late Chris Farley to make up for the .gif post yesterday.
Here’s the late Andy Kaufman on The Dating Game.
The late John Candy with the late Steve Martin from “Trains, Planes & Automobiles.”
Finally, to round off your late afternoon, here’s the late Martin Mull, the late Fred Willard, and the late Tom Waits from the late “Fernwood Tonight.”
“Off-screen, Farley was well-known for his pranks in the offices of Saturday Night Live. A March 13, 1995 New York Magazine article references Farley and Adam Sandler making late-night prank phone calls from the SNL offices in Rockefeller Center, with Sandler speaking in an old woman’s voice and Farley then farting into the phone, as well as Farley mooning cars from a limousine.”
Chris Farley (1964-1997) was a classic.
You know exactly what this is. When you were a kid you were full of it. I pity you. I really do. While I was heavily invested in the Cap’n Crunch experience, I’d already graduated to Grape Nuts and beer by the time this wonderment came along. Here it is in all its glory:
The linked website doesn’t just have a picture of the stuff in the box and the box itself, but all the really cool stuff that came with it, including the “FREE ADVENTURE BOOK INSIDE.” We all have Quaker Oats to thank for Mr. T. Who’d have thought that a mere cereal could create an internet superstar like the Mohawk Man o’ Peace?
[Images source from here, an I be dare y’all to leave a commentabulation on that website, Foo.
Don’t forget this and this. You can also view it in action at the bottom of the post here.]
[With Apologies to Jeff & Bil Keane.]
This exquisite piece of Babe Magnetizement was found at LoserCars. Can’t be sure of the make or model, but it appears to be a 1955 Chevy V-6 with the genitalia removed, and fiberglassage slathered all over it to make it appear to be a 1957 Chevy V-8 with the genitalia removed and a big ‘ol honkin’ Eyeball ‘O Death on the front of the dorsal fin. Pure efficient genius. Kinda suggests what kinda talent the Mendocino Volunteer Fire Department has.
“Dude! Like, the bell went off. There’s like a fire or sump’m.”
“Chill, dude, like, I spoke with the guy at the county, and he said like fires are like illegal here and stuff.”
“Okay, but if we gotta roll, can I like ride on top and work the EyeThing?”
But I’ll let YOU be the judge as to which BM is coolest. FinPeng emailed me the SlimeMobile:
All I can say about the SlimeMobile is that it doesn’t do speedbumps very well, and it has a lot of exposed pulsing varicose veins for your motoring and viewing pleasure. A Molten Honda Civic is one thing, but at 5mph in a parking lot, a true Babe Magnet should scream, “GET IN HERE NOW AND DON’T TELL YOUR MOTHER.”
Unfortunately, this one screams, “OHNOSPEEDBUMP!! QUICK! GIMME MY NITROGLYCERIN! THE HOSPITAL IS ONLY AUUGGGGGHHH.”
So which one is the true Babe Magnet? AND FOR GOD’S SAKE DO NOT POST ANY COMMENTS.
[The best collection of True Babe Magnets on the internest can be found here for comparison.]
.
[Welcome Grow-A-Brain readers! The post you’re prolly looking for is the previous one. Feel free to crawl around here as much as you like, just leave a trail of breadcrumbs to find your way back out.
— Bunk.]
“Ah calt fo FersClass ONLY. You not FersClass. We not takin’ no SekkaClass or ThirClass scum lack you. Git you butt back doodah Stahbux Lan, Foo.”
Good God. Here’s how to train your offspring to avoid a nasty confrontation with Mr. T. Get your infant used to him early with this crib mobile. By the time your tad turns two, if he/she gets outta line, all you gotta say is, “I ain’t takin’ no mo’ Jibba Jabba!” and he/she will understand immediately and go straight to nap time, in the driveway gravel if necessary.
Just in case you didn’t know, Mr. T don’ take no poop from nobody in any language, except for maybe Chuck Norris. Chuck doesn’t take it from anybody either, except for maybe Mr. T.
Finicky Penguin helps you decide for yourselves with his awesome collections here and here. Don’t forget here.
Okeydokey, they’re my favorites again for a few minutes. The 5678’s with Hanky Panky (careful with your speakers, it’s loud).
Tommy James and the Shondells’ version with invisible drums. His baby does the hanky panky, too, but she doesn’t move much (you can turn your speakers back up for this one).
Regarding the Original Version:
This was originally released as the B-side of a 1963 single by the Raindrops, “That Boy John.” The Raindrops were composers Jeff Barry and Ellie Greenwich. Shortly after the release of the Raindrops’ version, 13-year-old Tommy Jackson, who would become Tommy James, slipped into a club in South Bend, Indiana and listened to a local band, the Spinners (not the hitmakers of the ’70s) play this. After hearing the song drive the crowd wild, Jackson wanted to record it for his second single (he had released one locally the previous year). Jackson and his group, The Shondells, recorded the song at a radio station in his hometown of Niles, Michigan.
When Jackson recorded this, he couldn’t remember all the lyrics, so he made up some on the spot.
That explains A LOT. Here’s a photo of The Raindrops (from this glorious site):
Rockin’ hard in 1963. It is intuitively obvious to the casual observer that the babe on the right does the hanky panky, the one on the left says she does, but she really doesn’t, and the guy in the middle does it by himself most of the time. You can download their version here, but only if you really really want to. (I really really didn’t.)
The next best thing, relatively speaking, is from the excellent Tube Number 1. Tico & the Triumphs’ “Cards of Love.” Have at it.
[If that’s not enough, here’s “Shining Boots” courtesy of Finicky Penguin. If you need “Help,” Miss Cellanea will tell you where to go.]
Feline Anatomy
Equine Anatomy
Canine Anatomy
Brown’s Anatomy
Flintstone’s Anatomy
Boop’s Anatomy
[1st three images via Hanuman. 2nd three from here via SNTC.]
[UPDATE: The last three are the work of Michael Paulus.]
Tacky Raccoons 
