Category: Stupid

Babe Magnet: Yellow Fin vs. Yellow Slime

This exquisite piece of Babe Magnetizement was found at LoserCars. Can’t be sure of the make or model, but it appears to be a 1955 Chevy V-6 with the genitalia removed, and fiberglassage slathered all over it to make it appear to be a 1957 Chevy V-8 with the genitalia removed and a big ‘ol honkin’ Eyeball ‘O Death on the front of the dorsal fin. Pure efficient genius. Kinda suggests what kinda talent the Mendocino Volunteer Fire Department has.

“Dude! Like, the bell went off. There’s like a fire or sump’m.”
“Chill, dude, like, I spoke with the guy at the county, and he said like fires are like illegal here and stuff.”
“Okay, but if we gotta roll, can I like ride on top and work the EyeThing?”

But I’ll let YOU be the judge as to which BM is coolest. FinPeng emailed me the SlimeMobile:

All I can say about the SlimeMobile is that it doesn’t do speedbumps very well, and it has a lot of exposed pulsing varicose veins for your motoring and viewing pleasure. A Molten Honda Civic is one thing, but at 5mph in a parking lot, a true Babe Magnet should scream, “GET IN HERE NOW AND DON’T TELL YOUR MOTHER.”

Unfortunately, this one screams, “OHNOSPEEDBUMP!! QUICK! GIMME MY NITROGLYCERIN! THE HOSPITAL IS ONLY AUUGGGGGHHH.”

So which one is the true Babe Magnet? AND FOR GOD’S SAKE DO NOT POST ANY COMMENTS.

[The best collection of True Babe Magnets on the internest can be found here for comparison.]

The .Gif Friday Post No. 27- 16 PW/Hr

LAND OF 1000 PEEWEES

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[Welcome Grow-A-Brain readers! The post you’re prolly looking for is the previous one. Feel free to crawl around here as much as you like, just leave a trail of breadcrumbs to find your way back out.

— Bunk.]

Dangerous Profession: Sticks on Stilts

One reason health insurance is so high is because the insurance companies also have to insure catwalk models. You couldn’t get me to do it… or maybe you could for the right price, but it wouldn’t be pretty.

Vodpod videos no longer available.from cinemagypsy.wordpres posted with vodpod

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Another 20 pounds and they wouldn’t have these problems.
[Video from here.]

[UPDATE 11 APR O8: This one outdoes the others. From Arbroath.]

[UPDATE 14 April 2008. The video from Arbroath was yanked from the Utoobage… some folks just have no sense of humor. Here’s the gist: Last model cuts across runway without knowing that the runway is “U” shaped with a plastic panel hiding the void between the legs of the “U”. She falls through, and a man trots down the runway to help her out. A second man, not to be outdone, follows the first, steps in the same void that claimed the model. Duelling ignoseconds caught on video. Anyone have a fresh link?]

LOL Zebra

[Original undoctored Image from here.]

OpinionMobile is NOT a Babe Magnet… (OR IS IT?)

Let’s take a closer look.
It’s just a jump to the left:

Let’s see. Among other things, we’ve got

“Feed the People, Not the Pentagon;”
“He’s not MY President;”
“Chicks Rule;”
“F**k Up;”
“Money Talks, Chocolate Rules;”
“F**k Me I’m Fat;”
“Fight the War at Home; End Homelessness;”
“Dope & Hemp ’96;”
“Dr. Laura is a Biological Error.”

…Then a step to the right:

“Bombs R Us;”
“Civil Liberties – Don’t Leave Home Without Them;”
“Suicide;”
“Don’t Do It;”
“US out of Iraq;”
“Whose Media? Our Media;”
“Free Leonard Feather(?)” Couldn’t quite make that one out.

Okay. Given all that, here’s the assessment.

First of all, no guy would do this to his first car knowing what all those stickers would do to a paint job, and that he’d have to scrape ’em all off and pay for a paint job before he could sell it. The owner is a female.

Because no guy would deliberately do that to his ride unless it was a complete POS, and that it appears to be a decent Chevy Cavalier, this car was a gift from Daddy. The owner of the OpinionMobile is therefore in college, somewhere in Michigan (the source of the image).

She goes by the name of Sascha even though her real name is Amber Lynne. She’s got dyed black hair with a streak of purple, some miscellaneous piercings, and tattoos on her pasty white calves. Did I say she was overweight? No. She did. She’s fat. Fat, pierced and tattooed. And she likes to get stoned.

She’s got a pet rat, and her girlfriend’s name is Beverly. Did I say she was a lesbian? No. She did with her Dr. Laura sticker, and she’s never listened to the program. Pure efficient genius.

Therefore, this four-wheeled beast of burden without a spare qualifies as a true Babe Magnet… just not in the traditional sense, and, uh, I’m outta here.

[Image from here.]

Global Warming Declared Racist: Rewards Only White Beachcombers with Doritos, Ignores Minorities’ Desire for Snack Food

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Seattle, WA (Strutts News Services) – Global Warming was blamed for the ocean currents that transported several thousand air-tight packages of Doritos to the coast of Washington, leaving thousands of minorities without the addictive snack food. A total of three white people recobanized the profits to be had after a cargo bin spilled off of a cargo bin carrier ship during a nasty storm during which the cargo ship dropped its cargo. The word spread up and down the coast:

“DORITOS! DON’T TELL THE BLACKS AND THE ASIANS!”

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A cargo ship that finds itself in seas that causes it to drop its cargo is not funny at all. Ask someone who has been there and done that. But only white people comb the beaches for Doritos.

[Images and story from Truck Spills, a nice collection of things spilled from trucks.]

Emo Girl Sinks into Deep Depression. Again.

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This is one of those images that just screams “POST ME!” but won’t give you a hint as to what it’s all about. I’m not even sure where the image came from. This is a TLS (Temporary Lack of Sleep) babble post; fortunately for you I deleted 3/4 of it. I’ll be better tomorrow, relatively speaking.

[Found it. Image from here. You Rock, Hopper.]

P.S. These WordPress changes suck.

[UPDATE 11 April 2008:  The glitches with the WordPress changes have been resolved and it’s cool again.]

Finicky Penguins Rediscover Flight: Global Warming Blamed

[Sorry folks, this just isn’t taking. The penguin video featuring Michael Palin was great, but then the BBC continues with some disgusting stuff that doesn’t belong here unless Bunk thinks it belongs here.]

Here’s the link just in case you still wanna see it. It’s a good ‘un.

Just look at how much fun these little guys are having. Do we really want to take it away from them?[Tip o’ the Tarboosh to SH for this heads up.]

Still experimenting with the new WordPress. The video starts with an annoying commercial, then continues with the Penguins. But then it continues with other BBC stories.

Insert Capital F-word here.

Your Pal, Bunk

[UPDATE: Wait a minute. That’s not Michael Palin. That’s the dead guy, whatsisname, Mr. Creosote, right?]

[UPDATE 2 May 2008: Here’s a new link!]

LOL Rhino

[Unadorned image from here. I wanted to contact the webowner of this excellent site, but it’s all in Russian and none of my guesses worked.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 26 – Meowch

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Disclaimer:
1. No cats were hurt during this post.
2. The animations are all contrived.
3. The sources for the .gif’s are clearly identified.
4. Forward this link to everyone on your blogroll.
5. Leave the toilet seat up after you’re done peeing on it.
6. Always flush with your feet.