Gotta give credit to the late Chris Farley to make up for the .gif post yesterday.
Here’s the late Andy Kaufman on The Dating Game.
The late John Candy with the late Steve Martin from “Trains, Planes & Automobiles.”
Finally, to round off your late afternoon, here’s the late Martin Mull, the late Fred Willard, and the late Tom Waits from the late “Fernwood Tonight.”
“Off-screen, Farley was well-known for his pranks in the offices of Saturday Night Live. A March 13, 1995 New York Magazine article references Farley and Adam Sandler making late-night prank phone calls from the SNL offices in Rockefeller Center, with Sandler speaking in an old woman’s voice and Farley then farting into the phone, as well as Farley mooning cars from a limousine.”
Chris Farley (1964-1997) was a classic.
“But, Sire, my mount has to pee.”
If this group teamed up with these two they’d be Darwin Award statistics by now.
[Image from here.]
You know exactly what this is. When you were a kid you were full of it. I pity you. I really do. While I was heavily invested in the Cap’n Crunch experience, I’d already graduated to Grape Nuts and beer by the time this wonderment came along. Here it is in all its glory:
The linked website doesn’t just have a picture of the stuff in the box and the box itself, but all the really cool stuff that came with it, including the “FREE ADVENTURE BOOK INSIDE.” We all have Quaker Oats to thank for Mr. T. Who’d have thought that a mere cereal could create an internet superstar like the Mohawk Man o’ Peace?
[Images source from here, an I be dare y’all to leave a commentabulation on that website, Foo.
Don’t forget this and this. You can also view it in action at the bottom of the post here.]
[With Apologies to Jeff & Bil Keane.]
This exquisite piece of Babe Magnetizement was found at LoserCars. Can’t be sure of the make or model, but it appears to be a 1955 Chevy V-6 with the genitalia removed, and fiberglassage slathered all over it to make it appear to be a 1957 Chevy V-8 with the genitalia removed and a big ‘ol honkin’ Eyeball ‘O Death on the front of the dorsal fin. Pure efficient genius. Kinda suggests what kinda talent the Mendocino Volunteer Fire Department has.
“Dude! Like, the bell went off. There’s like a fire or sump’m.”
“Chill, dude, like, I spoke with the guy at the county, and he said like fires are like illegal here and stuff.”
“Okay, but if we gotta roll, can I like ride on top and work the EyeThing?”
But I’ll let YOU be the judge as to which BM is coolest. FinPeng emailed me the SlimeMobile:
All I can say about the SlimeMobile is that it doesn’t do speedbumps very well, and it has a lot of exposed pulsing varicose veins for your motoring and viewing pleasure. A Molten Honda Civic is one thing, but at 5mph in a parking lot, a true Babe Magnet should scream, “GET IN HERE NOW AND DON’T TELL YOUR MOTHER.”
Unfortunately, this one screams, “OHNOSPEEDBUMP!! QUICK! GIMME MY NITROGLYCERIN! THE HOSPITAL IS ONLY AUUGGGGGHHH.”
So which one is the true Babe Magnet? AND FOR GOD’S SAKE DO NOT POST ANY COMMENTS.
[The best collection of True Babe Magnets on the internest can be found here for comparison.]
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[Welcome Grow-A-Brain readers! The post you’re prolly looking for is the previous one. Feel free to crawl around here as much as you like, just leave a trail of breadcrumbs to find your way back out.
— Bunk.]
One reason health insurance is so high is because the insurance companies also have to insure catwalk models. You couldn’t get me to do it… or maybe you could for the right price, but it wouldn’t be pretty.
Vodpod videos no longer available.from cinemagypsy.wordpres posted with vodpod
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Another 20 pounds and they wouldn’t have these problems.
[Video from here.]
[UPDATE 11 APR O8: This one outdoes the others. From Arbroath.]
[UPDATE 14 April 2008. The video from Arbroath was yanked from the Utoobage… some folks just have no sense of humor. Here’s the gist: Last model cuts across runway without knowing that the runway is “U” shaped with a plastic panel hiding the void between the legs of the “U”. She falls through, and a man trots down the runway to help her out. A second man, not to be outdone, follows the first, steps in the same void that claimed the model. Duelling ignoseconds caught on video. Anyone have a fresh link?]
[Original undoctored Image from here.]
Let’s take a closer look.
It’s just a jump to the left:
Let’s see. Among other things, we’ve got
“Feed the People, Not the Pentagon;”
“He’s not MY President;”
“Chicks Rule;”
“F**k Up;”
“Money Talks, Chocolate Rules;”
“F**k Me I’m Fat;”
“Fight the War at Home; End Homelessness;”
“Dope & Hemp ’96;”
“Dr. Laura is a Biological Error.”
…Then a step to the right:
“Bombs R Us;”
“Civil Liberties – Don’t Leave Home Without Them;”
“Suicide;”
“Don’t Do It;”
“US out of Iraq;”
“Whose Media? Our Media;”
“Free Leonard Feather(?)” Couldn’t quite make that one out.
Okay. Given all that, here’s the assessment.
First of all, no guy would do this to his first car knowing what all those stickers would do to a paint job, and that he’d have to scrape ’em all off and pay for a paint job before he could sell it. The owner is a female.
Because no guy would deliberately do that to his ride unless it was a complete POS, and that it appears to be a decent Chevy Cavalier, this car was a gift from Daddy. The owner of the OpinionMobile is therefore in college, somewhere in Michigan (the source of the image).
She goes by the name of Sascha even though her real name is Amber Lynne. She’s got dyed black hair with a streak of purple, some miscellaneous piercings, and tattoos on her pasty white calves. Did I say she was overweight? No. She did. She’s fat. Fat, pierced and tattooed. And she likes to get stoned.
She’s got a pet rat, and her girlfriend’s name is Beverly. Did I say she was a lesbian? No. She did with her Dr. Laura sticker, and she’s never listened to the program. Pure efficient genius.
Therefore, this four-wheeled beast of burden without a spare qualifies as a true Babe Magnet… just not in the traditional sense, and, uh, I’m outta here.
[Image from here.]
Tacky Raccoons 
