Beer lobe’s missing.
[Image found here as a big ‘ol honkin’ bitmap. Good thing I fixed it for you dia-luppers.]
Category: Stupid
Saturday Matinee: Free Cash
There are several things that are just not right with this video, and Johnny Cash is not one of them.
1. I found it on an Aussie website.
2. He’s on the Muppet Show. The muppets do not deserve to be in the presence of the Man In Black, even if Jim Henson is dead, too.
3. Mr. Cash doesn’t play guitar on the clip, only harmonica, and he had to bring two of them.
4. There are Disney Channel Mouse droppings on the lower left hand corner of the Utoobage.
“HEEERE’S JOHNNY!” from 1959 with some serious chord modulation, and few folks could sing it. (Earl Scruggs did, but that’s another post.) Released in September 1956/Sun Records, made it to number 17 on the charts.
This one from San Quentin. Released in July1969/Columbia Records, made it to number 2 on the charts.
From Joel Whitburn’s “Top Pop Singles 1955-1999” there’s this:
“Born on 2/26/32 in Kingsland, Arkansas. Brother Roy led the Dixie Rhythm Ramblers band in late 1940’s. In U.S. Air Force, 1950-54. Formed trio with Luther Perkins (guitar) and Marshall Grant (bass) in 1955. First recorded for Sun in 1955. On Louisiana Hayride and Grand Ole Opry in 1957. Own TV show for ABC from 1969-71. Worked with June Carter from 1961, married her in March 1968. Carl Perkins and The Statler Brothers were members of his touring troupe from 1968-75. Ranks within the top three male vocalists of the Country charts. Charted 136 Country hits, 1955-98. Daughter Rosanne Cash and step daughter Carlene Carter had successful singing careers. Elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame in 1980. Won Grammy’s Living Legends Award in 1990. Guested on many TV shows. Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1992.”
RIP J.C.
Everybody picked on Bob.
Arrow Shirts had been mocking Bob mercilessly since elementary school, and they decided to get one last jab at him with this ad. Bob kept wishing that Arrow Shirts would stop thinking about him and just leave him alone.
Epilogue:
Bob is now CEO of MetaInfrared International, married Miss Amazon 1995, has four kids.
Paul graduated from Ball State with an associate degree in geology, and balances tires at a Goodyear store in Indianapolis, married and divorced three times, raises and trains rottweilers.
Steve, well let’s just say he did some really really bad things, and won’t be eligible for parole until he’s about 270 years old.
[Image from here.]
Babe Magnet: JETSTREAM!
Amazing. What attention to detail. Not only does he have the Jetstream airbrushed via spraypaint, masked it to overlap the brakelight assembly, he has at least two “starbursts” that serve to make this humperwagon shine! Since the shocks are broken, when dweebness drives over speed bumps at 30mph, the Jetstream paint job appears to be straight. Way cool.
Now you might think that the sloppy masking job on the door trim was an accident, but it’s just another subliminal signal to the high school hotties that “Yeah, I gotta hot sled here, but I’m a down-to-earth-kinda guy.”
And just to push that subtle point, there’s the Christmas Tree air freshener with mooneyes hanging on the rearview mirror, visible just to the right of the bone-marrow red front post that accents the antenna. (“Oooh! A four-door! My dad says I can go if my brothers can come along, K?”)
But here’s the BEST PART: The Governor of Dorkland advertises his responsible side to the future recipient of a romantic afternoon date at Arby’s by upending his spray can to clear the nozzle, thus creating three little octopi on the rear post. Pure efficient genius.
Mr. Aerosol, thank you for photographing it so nicely, and for posting it on the internest for our dropped-jaw amazement. And your cassette of RamJam’s greatest hit? It’s in the glove compartment under the used handiwipes with a raisin stuck to it.
Let’s Make a Band!
It’s the weekend. You have time for this.
The recipe was found here, via here, via here, sort of.
Let’s Make a Band!
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album. (You might have to click new random quotes at the bottom)3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.You then take the pic and add your band name and the album title to it, then post your pic.
Okay. Here’s what I got, and it looks just like all the other
Ricki Lee Jones-meets-Cyndi Lauper bluegrass mashups populating the discount racks next to the records of many other female artists whose first names end in “i.”
Well, that was a fun fifteen minutes, but I was hoping my album would come out more like one of these classics:
Yep, she’s hot, even without “Ivy Pete and his Limbomaniacs” but with the threat of instant depilatory immolation. Dump the dweeb, doll, and take a ride with ElectroGlide in my V-8 sled of love.
Four musical women, preggo with the children of other spouses? This one bothers me. A lot.
Paul Taubman sold more albums that he could count on one hand, but unfortunately he was knocked off the bottom of the charts within minutes after the first release by Ivy Pete. What’s amazing is that Taubman wasn’t a pianist, but played a two-note pre-colombian ocarina in rooms with plenty of standing room only.
And what is the worst album in Bunk’s collection? It is not only the worst, it’s one of my favorites:
Recorded in 1975, Hollerin’ features the unforgettable Leonard Emanuel and others, live at Spivey’s Corner North Carolina. (Hear clips here or here.) The double record set came in very handy back when Bunk was still slumming around in apartments. If the neighbors were making too much noise, I’d just slap side one on the turntable, crank it up, and laugh and laugh and laugh. Lucky you, it’s now available on CD, and well worth the bucks for the entertainment. Try it on your loud neighbors. Believe me, everyone shuts up when they hear it. This works.
Saturday Matinee: Oddness, S.O.T.W. & Doggy Doo
Something nicely odd about this one. I think I might be a Maximov fan.
Strangely entertaining: S.O.T.W by a Japanese orchestra. Wait for the vocals. Nice version overall. (Here’s the link to Deep Purple live in Japan, and lastly this trainwreck.)
After those two, what I really wanted to hear was a country/western song about dog poop, and I knew just where to look. So, here’s Pinkard & Bowden, two great musicians that you’ve heard but never heard of (and Bunky ain’ta gonna tell you why).
[First video link found at Kitty’s place even though she was talking about something else entirely. Second video link from Arbroath. Third link deliberately hunted down on the Utoobage.]
How to Create “Man-Made” Global Warming
Step 1: Get a weather data station.
Step 2: Verify that it accurately records temperatures in the immediate vicinity.
Step 3: Locate it in an area that will drastically skew the temperature readings.
Step 4: Burn your trash in a nearby incinerator and laugh and laugh and laugh while polluting the atmosphere. (For more fun, locate it near an airconditioning compressor and/or clothes dryer vent, and make sure your barbeque grille is close, too.)
Step 5: Transmit the data collected to advocates of the “man-made” Global Warming theory.
Step 6: Deny any and all data anomalies.
Step 7: Apply for a government (i.e., taxpayer-funded) grant and get paid for further study.
[Originally saw this photo in a report on global warming fallacies, written by a girl in Junior High School. She surveyed weather data collectors in her area and found that a large number were set up in odd locations, like asphalt parking lots, adjacent to exhaust fans, etc. I cannot find the original story/link, so if any readers can help, I’ll post it here with credit.]
Worse than Dog Breath
Although there are two cats around here that Bunk denies ownership of, other members of the Family Strutts claim to know about catbreath. (Word is it’s nasty. I’ll stay with the possums… at least they don’t climb up on my lap, stare at my chin stubble, and say, “H-h-h-howdy.”)
[Image from Ms. Cellanea.]
Tacky Raccoons Considers a New Feature!
After convening uncovening the Board of Supervisors here at TR Central, the decision was unanimous. After this coming Sunday, post, TackyRaccoons will may start posting
“AXE BUNKY“
as a new weekly feature, scheduled to appear every Sunday morning. occasionally. Our intention is to provide helpful questionable advice for all some maybe just a couple of our readers on any topic. Questions may be dumped in Bunk’s lap at forwarded to bunkstrutts@verizon.net, or posted below in the response section. We’ll collect them, chuckle to ourselves, and respond within 24 hours in a future post.
Forward your question(s), include your first name only, your city and state/province/country, and we’ll see how it goes. No email addresses or actual names shall be posted, so it’s all anonymous, and all in fun.
TR reserves the right to accept or reject any submissions, and to edit them, or not. There is no implied guarantee that any submittal will be used in future posts. Email a self-addressed stamped envelope if you want your submittal to be returned unused so you may forward it to another site.
[Image from here. Apparently it’s an early French typewriter, odd in that the typist couldn’t see what was typed until the page was removed and turned over. Minor design flaw. Kinda like this post.]
Saturday Matinee: Donuts!
Eh, go for it. Not impressed. Well, okay I am impressed. Kinda. Or maybe VERY. This guy is THE SKIDMASTER! It’s also no surprise that THE SKIDMASTER is a spokesman for Pirelli… (Sure, D. White set the local record for fastest time drifting sideways down Montgomery Road in the “Blue Goose” in 1975, but he was on ice.)
Looks like the horse is having fun with it, too.
Here’s proof that if you eat a donut, you will be happy, and if you don’t, you will die.
“Donut Song” by Teo Peralez. Sounds like he coulda been a Ramone except for playing acoustic git-fiddle…
[2nd clip from here. The other videoids were found on the YouToobage with a simple search of “Donut.”]
Tacky Raccoons 