Oh, the possibilities. Were it not for Feldman‘s death in 1982, this movie would have been pure awesome, especially if Mel Brooks had anything to do with it.
Here’s some trivia: Feldman suffered from Grave’s disease, an auto-immune/thyroid condition that caused his eyes to bulge. But that’s not what killed him. He was in a hotel room in Mexico City during the making of the movie Yellowbeard. MAD cartoonist Sergio Aragonés, dressed as an armed policeman for an unrelated film, startled Feldman when he showed up to introduce himself. Feldman subsequently died of a heart attack.
Whoa. Batman logo with tinyperkynipples, on a Chrysler Minivan no less. Let’s all scream, “PARTYMOBILE!” Bijonce and her sister Charlondra be gonna jump de bones of the driver of this dragon wagon, assuming they can see over the hood to appreciate the majesty of it all.
Of course the neighborhood girls are way underage, and the only way they’d see the attraction is if Bozoman personally lifted them higher than his blood alcohol level x the height of the hood ornament. Fortunately Bozoman can’t, and has to rely on subterfuge to get his prey into the Mommyvan. Fortunately for Bijonce and her sister, they’re both armed with tasers and the bone-breaking physical paybacks of the self-defense kind.
This conundrum leaves Bozoman with nothing but his two Bozofriends and a couple of quarts of beer. Since no significant otter, either outside or inside of Bozoman’s Mommyvan, can view the Batmoboil Logo, the only way the lame-o paintjob boosts this embarrassing piece of dorkness to the level of Babe Magnet is in the mindvapors of Bozoman himself.
Some folks take Batman lore very seriously. And why not? There are no laws, at least in this country, that forbid rabid BatFannage. This particular example is very deceiving in that it efficiently transforms the ubiquitous beetle into the ORIGINAL BATMOBILE with relatively little effort. Yeah, mock it all you want, but then compare it with the genuine item that we’ve provided for your viewing pleasure below:
Okay, the bottom image is a model of the 1940’s version, but you can’t deny the awesome resemblance. Therefore, the esteemed panel of judges at TR have voted unanimously to declare the VW Batmobile to be honored as a true and bonafide Babe Magnet.
On the other side of the coin is BatMockage, and here is a prime but innocent example. 7 out of 8 mocked him correctly. The other one is destined to be an online furnace filter consultant.
But there’s more to his story. Besides being a household word for rock n roll and gettin’ hot babes, the late Ted Cassidy played TWO parts in “The Addams Family” TV Series. Lurch was one of them… the other was “Thing.”
“Lurch (Ted Cassidy) is the household butler. Morticia and Gomez summon him by means of a bell pull in the form of a hangman’s noose, which rings the massive bell located in the mansion’s bell tower; the resulting gong shakes the entire house when the bell’s noose is pulled. When Lurch appears (usually immediately or within seconds thereafter), he responds with an extremely deep-voiced, “You rang?”
“According to IMDb, Lurch was intended to be a non-speaking part, as the Charles Addams cartoon character was silent; however, Cassidy improvised the line during his audition, and it was so well-received that it became a feature of the character. When questions are posed to him, Lurch’s primary response is a deep throaty rumbling and, at times, tremendously annoyed sound, which the family nonetheless interpret as spoken words. Superhumanly strong (he cleans the family car by simply lifting it and shaking it out like a rug), Lurch often plays the harpsichord (the music is actually played by The Addams Family composer Vic Mizzy).
“Lurch is very high-minded about visitors; when a plainclothes policeman (played by George Neise) visited the family, Lurch patted him down and regarded him suspiciously when he found his gun. Neise showed Lurch his badge, whereupon Lurch returned the gun.
“Lurch occasionally regards his employers’ activities with some dubiousness, but only as any servant might regard the idle rich, not because he does not share their macabre tastes.”
As far as the Addams Family goes, Lurch was my 2nd favorite. Carolyn Jones (Morticia Addams), well, um, you know. Cassidy also appeared in several episodes of:
Star Trek;
I Dream of Jeannie;
Wild Wild West;
and The Six-Million Dollar Man (as Bigfoot).
Y’all can forget his cameo on Batman, too… or not.
Cassidy ALSO appeared in the movie “Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid” in this Classic Scene.
As a completely unrelated aside, anyone curious about what the Sex Pistols’ Johnny Rotten is up to these days? Seems he’s turned Shatner on us. Promise.
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Tacky Raccoons 
