Month: November 2007

Forget Turkey. This Rocks.

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Established over 50 years or not, I want the “Non-Traditional” kind with my peanut butter. Who is this Bradley guy that thinks this is food? After 50 years, you’d think he’d know better.

“WAIT MARGIE, THEY’RE READY TO EAT! FORGET THE TURKEY! WE GOT EELS! AND THEY’RE THE TRADITIONAL STYLE!”

[Photo from Liver.]

UPDATE: One of our crack webminers here at TR bleated apologies for not informing me that the Jellied Eels photo is NOT photoshopped, and that the treats are considered a delicacy in parts of London. The exact same photo, with description, can be found here. (Bunk sincerely apologizes to Mr. Bradley for thinking he was a closet Japanese foodmaker, and to all Japanese readers for thinking that you would stoop so low as to eat jellied eels. Bunk forwarded his documentation to Steve, an authority on matters like this.)

When the Carp Hits the Fan

A long time ago…

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…one of Bunk’s friends got the “Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots” for Christmas. Bunk was filled with envy, until he saw what a stupid piece of carp it really was, but it was cool for 15 minutes until my friend and I decided to take it apart to find out why it was really a piece of carp. That’s when the carp hit the fan with my friend’s Mom. Bunk realized that his mom was calling about the same time and had to go. Yeah, Bunk acted like a woos, but Bunk wasn’t stupid either.

[Here’s the link, via here, for the guy who specializes in great detailed illustrations of carp: Robots and Donuts.]

TRUST

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“What Once Was Lost, But Now is Found…”

Yeah, I know those aren’t the words. If I dropped my wallet in there, I’d fish it out for sure, but not this way. But a cell-phone? Amazing Grace is gonna get crappy reception from now on.

Then there’s Dad… got up outta bed with his chonies and black socks, got shoes on, and hung his daughter head first into the latrine to help her retrieve an overrated electronic device that she’s gonna put next to her mouth the first chance she gets to describe to her best Oprah-watching confidant how she stupidly mistook the cellphone for the Spiegel catalogue and it dropped into the cess and now the battery’s dead and [you go girl.].

[Photo series via Liver.]

Tastes Like Chicken

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You might think that’s pork, but it snot.
Future Senator/Congressman in training.

[Photo via Growabrain.]

The .Gif Friday Post No. 12: Bowling

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Don’t try this at home. Try it in front of hundreds of people during a televised tournament. (Be sure and replace your divot.) Then eat at Denny’s.

Andy Loomis’ Twenty Kids

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Andrew Loomis was a successful graphic artist that authored several excellent “how to” books on illustration in a variety of media. The page above is from “Fun With A Pencil,” a book my grandfather had that I memorized when I was a young tad.

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First published in 1939, this book has all the basics of graphic design covered, with an emphasis on cartooning and caricature of the human form. Proportion, balance, lighting, perspective are all covered with graphic examples.

I had forgotten about the book until Loomis’ name popped up at Neatorama and memory bells went off in my brain… couldn’t be the same Loomis, but it was.

Now his books, including his first one “Fun With A Pencil,” may be downloaded for free via link found at Process Junkie. The download is a .rar zip file with every page in .pdf format. I had to chase down another shareware program to open it. Believe me, the trouble is worth it.

From the Department of Lesser Superheroes

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Two damsels in obvious distress. They cry for help, pleading for mercy, “We’ve squatted and we can’t get up! Help us, SOMEONE!”

The call is answered by the only Superhero who can save them from certain death:

IT’S ENEMAN TO THE RESCUE!

When Eneman is on the scene, evil doers get what they deserve in the end. He’ll never leave his buddies behind, and he always gets to the bottom of the problem. I think any additional comment of mine may be too obviously in poor taste for such a class website such as TR, butt let your thoughts flow freely in the comments down below.

I really apologize for this post. Sorta. You still rock, though.

[Unknown source for first photo. Eneman photo (with beanie baby Enemans) from here.]

Red Sox’ Ballcaps are Full of It

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Cincinnati, Ohio, Crosley Field – (Strutts News Services)
Red Sox relief pitcher Lannie Foosers was dismayed to find a flaw in the SoxBox of Secret Weapons. In order to “Run Faster, Jump Higher,” team management outfitted all players with baseball caps (head caps for baseball) manufactured by Keds and made entirely of Flubber.

Almost entirely. The revolutionary headgear, designed to be worn on the head as gear, was manufactured with Type X-WR Velcro, a combination of common Velcro infused with SuperGlue. The resulting chemical product was intended to secure the gear to a player’s pate to enhance his performance, without detection.

Mr. Foosers, while airborne, managed to detach his cap from his head and avoid a potentially life threatening situation.

Bob “The Bobster” Bieber (RF, bats left, no record to speak of) bruised his head repeatedly on the concrete ceiling of the dugout before Foosers became airborne. The caps were painfully removed from the rest of the team and no other problems were reported.

The Red Sox went on to win the exhibition game against the East Overshoe (PA) Scorpions of something to something else in extra innings, and nobody cared. Ditto.

[Photo via Drudge.]

Greetings Red Sox Faithful Readers.
Stick around as often as you like. -Bunk

Before You Open Up a Can of This…

… you better have a good reason and know what you’re doing.

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If you stupidly decide to mess with a Veteran, understand that Veterans each have at least one can within arm’s reach at all times, and they all know how to use it. Comes with experience.

For everyone else, you can create your own can labels here. Give a can of Whoop-Ass to someone who’s earned it.

The 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month

Armistice Day, 1918, now referred to as Veterans’ Day. How many of you know what it means? Bonus points if you know why the USA officially joined the fight after years of Wilsonian isolationism. (Hint: Starts with the letter Z.)

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Note that Germany did not surrender; the Armistice was an agreement to stop fighting, not an admission of defeat. Note also that the Armistice created sanctions that were not enforced. Note that in less than twenty years, national socialists controlled Germany. By 1939 they had rebuilt their armies and weaponry and invaded Poland. Note that there were many “dialogues” and appeasements. Note the beginning of WWII.

Has a familiar ring to it… I’m just sayin’.

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As for Veterans’ Day, there is an excellent publication, Military, that should be read by all. It’s not a glossy rewrite of history, but a monthly newsprint pulp, with first-person accounts from WWII, the Cold War, Korea, Viet Nam, Afganistan and Iraq. It contains snippets of world events, past and present, not normally found in the newspapers, let alone TV, Radio, or the internest news services.

Military provides current non-classified information that the popular main-stream media typically overlooks and ignores. Well worth the admission price of $21.00 a year.

www.milmag.com takes you to the subscription page. I have no monetary connections or interests with this publication, aside from being a fan and subscriber.

The publication is proudly conservative and I recommend it highly. Regardless of your political affiliation, it is not insulting to those of differing opinions. Go for it. —Bunk

[Photo from here.]