After sifting through hundreds of entries, here are the Finalists as chosen by our crack team of webminers. Now all you gotta do is vote for your favorite joke, and next weekend we’ll award Le Prix de Impressionnant.
phil cordery
one of my father’s on other people’s driving habits
“You couldn’t drive a greasy stick up a dead dogs arse”
Chuck Gibbs, RN
I think it was Baxter Black who published a list of cowboy wisdom ‘don’t’s which included:
“Don’t fry bacon in the nude.”
“Don’t squat with your spurs on.”
and my personal favorite:
“Don’t drink downstream from the herd.”
Sexual harrassment accusation – “He explored more bottom than Jacque Cousteau.”
Of course, the difference between naked and nekkid always made me laugh. Naked you don’t have clothes on, nekkid you don’t have clothes on and are up to something.
Point to ponder – If space travelers made it to Earth, indicating a technology gap (like throwing rocks compared to nuclear weapons), why would they need big honkin’ navigation lights on their terrestrial exploration vehicles? What could they not avoid or, better yet, what could even remotely come close to hittin’ them?
Saw a interweb post recently ranting about a lady shopper racin’ through the local store where the blogger shopped, almost causing cart-related accidents hither and yon. She wrote of wanting to shout at the reckless women something to the effect of “Slow down ! You’re not shopping for jack rabbits (although that would be way cool) !”
wheels
I had a custom button made once that read, “If you can’t get your work done in a 24-hour day, work nights.”
I’m also fond of last year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival winner: “Hedgehogs. Why can’t they just share the hedge?”
Alessandra
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Loni Anderson (Good God, look at that hair!) introduced a tribute to Charles Schulz, creator of Wee Folk, aka Peanuts. Today is the 60th anniversary of its debut. RIP, Sparky.
David Benoit’s version of Vince Guaraldi’s classic “Linus and Lucy.”
Tacky Raccoons 