Category: Babe Magnet

YAY! Bumpercars! YAY!


[via email from 1389AD]
We’ve featured Rat Rods before, but now it’s time for some street legal mobiles that would make Ralph Nader crawl into a freshly dug grave just to roll over.

Yes, you read that right; these little beasties are street legal.

They run on either Kawasaki or Honda motorcycle engines and co-opt vintage bumper car bodies into the most awesome form of mini-car we’ve seen in too long. There are seven of these little monsters floating around California and they’re all the creation of one man, Tom Wright, a builder in the outskirts of San Diego who figured the leftovers of the Long Beach Pike amusement park needed a more dignified end than the trash heap.

They were originally powered by two cylinder Harley Davidson Motorcycle engines but they rattled like heck because of the two cylinder vibration and Tom replaces them with four cylinder Honda or Kawasaki 750’s and a couple have been measured as capable of 160 MPH, which is terrifyingly fast in machines with such a short wheelbase.

Are these true Babe Magnets? For sure, and they’re Unsafe At Any Speed, which is just how we like it on Tacky Raccoons.

Retro Babe Magnet Stripe Thingy

Caterpillars are GO.

[Found here.]

Function Over Form


Okay, that’s fixed. That, too. Alright, might as well fix this. Hmmm. This could use some fixin’. Gonna fix this next. Done. Probably ought to fix that while I’m at it. Now what to fix? Ooh. Got it. Next…

[Received via email from 1389AD. Click for larger images.]

Rat Rods

No shine. No polish. Pure awesome Babe Magnetage.

Shinemobile Babe Magnet

Babe Magnet? Oh yeah. With beads and braids. One minor criticism. This would be an awesome sled if only the driver’s seat were at the other end.

[Found here.]

Magnetic Babe Magnet Babes

Retro hood ornaments.

[Found here.]

Babe Magnet Royale

Ignore the rust, ignore the primer. The duct tape AND fiberglass tapeworms give this gas-guzzling lolmobile immediate qualifications as a genuine candidate. Say we ignore that awesomeness – the bungie bumper supports are a stand alone double-whammy for inclusion in the esteemed category known around these parts as Babe Magnets. Congrats are in order.

[Found here.]

UPS Babe Magnet

Look closely. It’s not a union ride, but it’s entirely awesome. I could extrapolate a buncha snarky puns about boxes and services here, but we try to keep it PG, or at least PG-13, and neither one of those ratings mean anything, at least not in the world of Babe Magnets.

[Found here.]

Russian Babe Magnet

[Found here.]

Babe Magnet 28

Dang. Where do we start? This is such a POS non-babemagnet that it’s hardly worth the time to extrapolate the inner workings of Dork28, covered in puffy paint and adorned with  flame decals created with cat fur dipped in tempera. There is so much unappreciated and unnecessary effort put into that embarrassmobile that my jaw not only drops, it runs away screaming.

The only redeeming quality this vehicle d’ vapid has is the crystalline cubes of broken tempered glass that covers the floor mats, and that’s not exactly a plus because of the stains and the….

Okay. I’ve got to back off on this one.  Dude, decorating your ride with Play-Doh and painting the bumper with “Poor Man Mark” just doesn’t cut it in The World of Babe Magentage. You might have been able to pull this off with a bottle of JD in your fist or maybe…

Hell. Who am I kidding. Sorry, dude. Can’t justify it. You’re on your own with this one. Your ride sucks serious donkeys.

[Image found here. Don’t miss our glorious Babe Magnet Archive.]