Category: Bird Stuff

UN PEACEKEEPERS ROUND UP SEVERAL DOZEN TERRORIST SUSPECTS IN THE ANTARCTIC

Marysville, Antarctica (Strutts News Services) – United Nations Armed Forces, operating on classified intelligence, captured and detained about two dozen Al-Qaida operatives in New Basra, Antarctica, on Thursday.

United Nations Lance Corporal Lannie Foosers stated, “They were very skittish as we approached, and it was very unusual to find them in uniform. It was apparent that they were training for something big.”

Foosers reported that they surrendered noisily. “Sit down and shut yer fish holes!” he ordered. “I don’t wanna hear another peep out of you!”

In defiance, the detainees responded loudly and in unison, “PEEEEP!” and were immediately released upon their own recognizance. Thanks, UN!

[Image from somwhere deep in here, and yes, I realize that those are not UN Uniforms. All in fun. Tip ‘o the Tarboosh to osage who asked for more penguin pix.]

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

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Tommy Makem and the Clancy Brothers sang a version of this. I’d post the song here, except that I lent the CD to a man named Martois a coupla years ago and never got it back. (Hunt him down, my friends, and make him cough it up.)

If you can’t read it proper, here’s the transcription, with Irish slang help from THE Eoin Shalloo, after the break. (Thanks Mr. S.) Continue reading “Happy St. Patrick’s Day!”

Go to the Head of the Class

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“Look! Out in the water! It’s a duck! It’s a boat! It’s a sauna! It’s a floating summer cottage!” No you fools. It’s MallardMan.

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Fin-duck is powered by an outboard motor. The driver’s place is in the head of the “duck”, where a chair can be put into position when someone sits there. On the back of the “duck” one can take sun. Eight persons can sit in front of a fireplace. In the sauna fits four persons.

Measurements:
Length 5,5 m
With 2,8 m
Height 3,2 m
Height in saloon 195 cm
Draught 25 cm
Weight 900 kg
Speed about 5 knots
Equipment:
Outboard motor 15 hv
Fireplace
Sauna and shower
Toilet and hand basin
Kitchen with a sink and a refrigerator

I can hear it now:
“Honey, when are we gonna get underway?”
“Any minute dear. But first I have to go to the head.”

Then there’s this lovely lair of leisure:

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“Wellness Skull” by Atelier Van Lieshout. Like Wellness centers it has a few places to relax. In the neck of the skull is a small bath. The head of the Skull contains a sauna.

If you say so. Like I really need to go to the head to relax. Then I find that it’s full of warm water, just like I thought. I can hear it now:
“Honey, you need to relax.”
“I’ll relax after I go to the head! Is that okay with you, DEAR?!”

Meanwhile, I Love Lucy:

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Lucy the Elephant is an American Treasure. I can hear it now:
“Honey, there’s no sauna in there! Why are you running?”
“Get outta my way, dear! I’ve gotta go to the head!”

[Images with indented commentary from here, here and here.]

Rubber (Duckies) Soul

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Neatorama is amazing. Their crack team of webminers found Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues recast as Rubber Duckies. Made me wanna take a warm bath with an 8-track player nearby belting out Sam and Dave’s Greatest Hits…

Until I followed the Neatorama link and found this:

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“Ah Pity Da Foo Who Don’t Lather, Rinse, Repeat!”

No way am I getting wet with Mr. T unless it’s raining. Other excellent Mr. T accouterments may be found here, here, and especially here.

Related Rubber Duckie report from the world-renowned Strutts News Services may be found here, and for you afficionados, more specific duck info here.

And Bunk just broke his own record for most links in a single post. G’head and click on ’em, but be back here in time for dessert, okay?

Saturday Matinee: “What the Duck?”

Waddlin’, waddlin’, waddlin’, Though the pond is coddlin’
Keep them duckies waddlin’, Raw Duck!
Rain and wind and weather, Hell-bent in feather,
Wishin’ my gal was by my side.
All the things I’m missin’, Good vittles, love, and kissin’,
Are waiting at the end of my ride.

Cull ’em out, pluck ’em off, pluck ’em off, cull ’em out
Cull ’em out, pluck ’em off, Raw Duck

Dress ’em up, lay ’em down, lay ’em down, baste ’em up
Make sure the oven’s preheated to 375 because no one likes

Raw Duck!

from arbroath.blogspot.co posted with vodpod

Being a duckboy is hard work. Here’s more proof:

This Duck needs no introduction:

Finally, here’s an Odd Duck. Democrat presidential candidate and zen master, Alaska’s former Senator Mike Gravel has the most bizarre political non-political ad I’ve ever seen, and it creeps me out a little:

We assume the message is “Don’t mess with Gravel. He’ll mess up your pond reflections.”

It was still cognizant.

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The chicken is not a real chicken. It’s a rubber chicken. It’s not even a live rubber chicken. And that’s not a real ninja either, but it’s obvious that the rubber chicken didn’t know what it was messing with when it attacked without warning. Did the rubber chicken deserve this brutal treatment? (Watch this and decide for yourself.)

[Image from here. Video link from SNTC.]

Another One Bites the Ducks: Daily Awesome

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Yeah, I know those are geese, not ducks. That’s not the point.
It appears that one of my favorite websites, Your Daily Awesome, has turned off its lights for good as of last Tuesday. In respectful memory, here are a handful of my favorite YDA posts, in shout-out fashion, and not in any particular order:

Animaris Rinoceros
Model Railroad Slums
Three Songs by Ledbelly
The Andy Kaufman YouTube Motherlode
The Picture of Everything
Koalas Aren’t Hard They Some Little Bitches
Hidden Messages in Leave It To Beaver
Mingering Mike
Ricky Jay & His Amazing Cards

Many others can be found in the archives. Thanks for all the awesome daily entertainment, Chas. Although I never met you, it still feels the same as if I never had. Here’s to last Wednesday’s yesterday, and we wish you well on your long road ahead.

Everybody’s Heard About the Bird

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“So, what do you do for a living?”
“I ride birds. Big birds, you know? Birds that can be ridden.”
“Right. You are a bird rider. What does that really mean?”
“The bird is the word.”

“I don’t understand. Is it dangerous?”
“Yep. You can get flipped.”
“You mean the bird can flip you off?”

“The bird? Oh yeah. Ironic, huh. It happens.”

[Photo with video via l3utterfish.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 7

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Alfred Hitchcock deleted this first take of “the shower scene” from his masterpiece “PSYCHO.” Why? I dunno, Babs, but I do know this. Hitchcock almost always had a cameo role in his movies. In this scene, his makeup was amazing.

Got Birdseed?

https://web.archive.org/web/20111113042337/https://tackyraccoons.com/2007/09/23/got-birdseed/