Another Great Gift Idea: TREPANATION!

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Great educational game for the hole family. Release the evil spirits, insert the jello, and your Patient’s  nose lights up when his demeanor improves!

A traditional cure-all for conservatism, it has its dangers:  Be careful!  When the vote comes up and the Patient argues against frivolous spending and taxation, guess what?  HE’S NOT CURED!

trepanationThe game continues until each of the evil spirits have been vanquished and the Patient votes for nationalizing the banking industry, the automotive industry, the healthcare industry, runs for congress as a carpetbagger, opposes the NRA and Constitutional Amendments 1, 2 & 4, is coerced to vote CORRECTLY, or until he’s been otherwise  completely incapacitated and forced to become a ward of the State himself.

Bonus points are awarded if the Patient joins Greenpeace, the Sierra Club, any union, or supports AGW before becoming incapacitated.

Once the Patient signs on as a democrat the game is over, and it moves to the next level:  Change your Patient from a socialist to a marxist! (Requires upgrade to Trepanation 2.0.)

[Found here.]

Another Great Gift Idea- Gummy Haggis

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Great gift for any occasion.  Sort of.

[Image from here.  Order the offal here.]

New Age Hair

nosehairOccasionally our esteemed web miners at Tacky Raccoons run short of post ideas due to prior commitments and responsibilities (like, um, well, other important stuff.)  When we run out of unique post images or topics, we resort to a simple parlor trick:  Google an image of a random word,  see what pops up,  and exploit it for pennies on the dollar.  (You wanna see LEDs on sheep? You won’t find it here. We don’t play the viral game.)

Today we’re talking new age hair.*

As we age, our bodies change in ways we only laughed about in grade school.  A few long eyebrow hairs are kinda cool, but ear hair is not.  Nor is the onslaught of middle age nose hair.  I have all three.

Fortunately, modern technology provides the answer for two-thirds of them, and the vacuum abhorred by nature is filled by this wonderful creation:

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Be forewarned that if you use this appliance for ear hair, it will change your eye color as well as the color and pattern of your shirt.

For sale here at the low price of $5.99 (unfortunately no used ones are listed.)  Get one for each nostril for only $11.98 plus snipping and handling.  An optional stainless steel flail attachment is available to grind out the crusties.

Not for use as a unowot, regardless of crusties.

[Image found here. Nose Hair Opinion Poll results here.] Continue reading “New Age Hair”

Good to the Last Chunk

It’s not just ANY coffee…

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IT’S WEASEL PUKE COFFEE!  YAY!

There’s a little animal in Vietnam which has magical properties. Locally, it’s called a weasel (though technically, it’s a type of civet, but let’s call it a weasel like the locals) and it sure likes to eat the fruit of the coffee plant. But the seeds don’t sit well in its tummy, so it vomits them up. And that’s where the fun comes in – for local coffee folks gather up the beans and lightly roast them. The stomach acids seem to wear away the bitter taste of the coffee beans, and the resulting coffee is delicious and smooth.

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From Wikipoidland we find this related tidbit:

Kopi Luwak (pronounced [ˈkopi ˈluwak]) or Civet coffee is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus). The civets eat the berries, but the beans inside pass through their system undigested. This process takes place on the islands of Sumatra, Java and Sulawesi in the Indonesian Archipelago, in the Philippines (where the product is called Kape Alamid) and in East Timor (locally called kafé-laku). Vietnam has a similar type of coffee, called weasel coffee, which is made from coffee berries which have been regurgitated by local weasels. In actuality the “weasel” is just the local version of the Asian Palm Civet.

Note that Wikistuff contradicts itself here, and that the coffee beans are fully processed by the “weasel.”

It’s a steal at only $24.99 per pound 57 grams.  (That’s only $198.81/lb., but one sip keeps you wired for a week.)

[Weasel Puke Coffee description found here where it may be purchased;  found via RGS. More info here.]

Seasonal Fail

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Merry Christmas

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[Image is a Christmas card received from my good friend Don.]

Christmas Eve

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Last Minute Gift Ideas: Musical Instruments and Vases

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electric guitar            $29.95
size of model:  W 3 1/2″  h 12″

Missing one tuning peg. Continue reading “Last Minute Gift Ideas: Musical Instruments and Vases”

Another Great Last Minute Gift Idea: Knobs!

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Wait to see the look on Dad’s face when he gets a half-dozen genuine  Australian knobs!  Whatta Christmas!

[Image from here.]

Saturday Matinee: Christmas Present & Psst

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According to the source, this clip was found in New Brunswickeshire England, in the basement of a home once owned by one of the founders of the Salvation Army.  It’s bean carbon dated to about 1925.

Brian Setzer’s rockin’ version of Elvis’ rockin’ version of “Santa Claus Is Back In Town.”

Leroy Anderson’s “Sleigh Ride” choreographed with lights.

It’s not Christmas to Bunk unless he hears this version by the Ronettes.  (Note that in the video the horse is bustin’ butt and that he also has windshield wipers.)

Q:  What’s Christmas without the Ramones?
A:  Christmas.

[Update 22 December 2008–

Plane Tross has noticed and verified a significant congruence between this post and a previous one: “It’s amazing that when you play “The Ramones” song it’s in perfect sync with “Honka Chickm” below it.”

That’s gotta be one of the best comments ever on this blog. Thanks gobs, Plane. Comments like that are what make me wanna get out of bed almost every morning.]