Out on bail and home for the holidays. And one of them is drug free, at least for a couple of hours.
[Found here.]
Category: Christmas
Great Gift Ideas: Chess on a Budget
Kit includes (1) Sharpie Pen and (1) Deck of cards. Provides hours of head-scratching fun.
[Found in here.]
Great Stocking Stuffer
Great Educational Gift Idea: My Cleaning Trolley
Be a Night Janitor just like Mommy! (Note that it says, “Girls Only.”)
Not to worry, though, as there is a related educational toy just for the future Junior Maintenance Manager in your family, called “My Mop, My Bucket and My Squeegee.”
[Found here.]
More Great Gift Ideas (and some are Assorted!)
Wow. I’ve been looking for a dozen assorted Inflatable Snake Swords for years, if only to have a crazy sword fight. If you swing one ISS and miss, the snakehead homes in on and bites your enemy right in the crackerbockles before deflating. Ouch. Crazy.
On the other hand, these Light-Up Expando Swords come with a built-in choking hazard. Swing one at your enemy and it breaks up into little weaponettes that fly screaming right down his/her/its throat. These weapons of mass illumination go for $14.99/dozen, so maybe they’re better for self defense after all, but they’re definitely not assorted.
Foam Swords + Duct Tape are an entirely different class of weaponry, to be covered in a future post. Meanwhile, don’t mess with ANYONE who displays little cows with crescent moons on his/her foam sword sheath. These people are dangerous, and THEY play for keeps.
Another Great Gift Idea: TREPANATION!
Great educational game for the hole family. Release the evil spirits, insert the jello, and your Patient’s nose lights up when his demeanor improves!
A traditional cure-all for conservatism, it has its dangers: Be careful! When the vote comes up and the Patient argues against frivolous spending and taxation, guess what? HE’S NOT CURED!
The game continues until each of the evil spirits have been vanquished and the Patient votes for nationalizing the banking industry, the automotive industry, the healthcare industry, runs for congress as a carpetbagger, opposes the NRA and Constitutional Amendments 1, 2 & 4, is coerced to vote CORRECTLY, or until he’s been otherwise completely incapacitated and forced to become a ward of the State himself.
Bonus points are awarded if the Patient joins Greenpeace, the Sierra Club, any union, or supports AGW before becoming incapacitated.
Once the Patient signs on as a democrat the game is over, and it moves to the next level: Change your Patient from a socialist to a marxist! (Requires upgrade to Trepanation 2.0.)
[Found here.]
Another Great Gift Idea- Gummy Haggis
New Age Hair
Occasionally our esteemed web miners at Tacky Raccoons run short of post ideas due to prior commitments and responsibilities (like, um, well, other important stuff.) When we run out of unique post images or topics, we resort to a simple parlor trick: Google an image of a random word, see what pops up, and exploit it for pennies on the dollar. (You wanna see LEDs on sheep? You won’t find it here. We don’t play the viral game.)
Today we’re talking new age hair.*
As we age, our bodies change in ways we only laughed about in grade school. A few long eyebrow hairs are kinda cool, but ear hair is not. Nor is the onslaught of middle age nose hair. I have all three.
Fortunately, modern technology provides the answer for two-thirds of them, and the vacuum abhorred by nature is filled by this wonderful creation:
Be forewarned that if you use this appliance for ear hair, it will change your eye color as well as the color and pattern of your shirt.
For sale here at the low price of $5.99 (unfortunately no used ones are listed.) Get one for each nostril for only $11.98 plus snipping and handling. An optional stainless steel flail attachment is available to grind out the crusties.
Not for use as a unowot, regardless of crusties.
[Image found here. Nose Hair Opinion Poll results here.] Continue reading “New Age Hair”
Good to the Last Chunk
It’s not just ANY coffee…
IT’S WEASEL PUKE COFFEE! YAY!
There’s a little animal in Vietnam which has magical properties. Locally, it’s called a weasel (though technically, it’s a type of civet, but let’s call it a weasel like the locals) and it sure likes to eat the fruit of the coffee plant. But the seeds don’t sit well in its tummy, so it vomits them up. And that’s where the fun comes in – for local coffee folks gather up the beans and lightly roast them. The stomach acids seem to wear away the bitter taste of the coffee beans, and the resulting coffee is delicious and smooth.
From Wikipoidland we find this related tidbit:
Kopi Luwak (pronounced [ˈkopi ˈluwak]) or Civet coffee is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus). The civets eat the berries, but the beans inside pass through their system undigested. This process takes place on the islands of Sumatra, Java and Sulawesi in the Indonesian Archipelago, in the Philippines (where the product is called Kape Alamid) and in East Timor (locally called kafé-laku). Vietnam has a similar type of coffee, called weasel coffee, which is made from coffee berries which have been regurgitated by local weasels. In actuality the “weasel” is just the local version of the Asian Palm Civet.
Note that Wikistuff contradicts itself here, and that the coffee beans are fully processed by the “weasel.”
It’s a steal at only $24.99 per pound 57 grams. (That’s only $198.81/lb., but one sip keeps you wired for a week.)
[Weasel Puke Coffee description found here where it may be purchased; found via RGS. More info here.]
Seasonal Fail
Tacky Raccoons 
