Category: Not News

Gnome Herding Declared Illegal in Oz

Gnome Farmer_Neatorama 090730

Cootamundra, New South Wales, AU (Strutts News Services) –
In a bold move, Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd declared a state of emergency in this small shire of 5,600 after more than 1,500 gnomes were discovered in captivity on Thursday.  Many of the captive ornamentals showed signs of neglect, and all appeared relieved to be freed from their captor.

“An allotment of four gnomes per person is unfathomable,” declared Rudd. “It flies in the face of everything this country stands for.”

Although Rudd acknowledged that some of the gnomes were not full grown and had barely sprouted when the farm was discovered, he condemned the practice as barbaric. “These gnomes were not intended for distribution to those in need across New South Wales, but were earmarked for export.  It’s no secret that such trafficking is illegal.”

[Spokespersons for VE Imports, the world’s largest gnome trader, did not return our phone calls and were unavailable for comment.]

When asked about gnome farmer and property owner Cobber Bluey, the locals eyed the ground in reverence.  “He’s gone,” said neighbor Marcy Dotes. “He stepped over the line ten times too many, the bastard.”

[Image from Neatorama; corroborating source here.]

Stump Bunk

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We’re up to about 17 regular viewers here after thousands of hours of effort, and it’s starting to pay off.  As we drift aimlessly into Our Third Annum of existance, our Crack Team of Webminers suggested another poll.  It’s a very simple yes/no thingy, and it’s free.

CTW thought we might want to venture into the realm of comments, i.e., post nothing of substance, but use the post itself as a comment generator.

We’re gonna ignore the poll for now, but leave your pertinent questions in the comments section and we’ll respond after leaving the toilet seat up and flushing with our feet. Depending on the volume (of questions) we may answer all in one post, or spread them out over the lawn to hose ’em down later.

Bill Murray: Posterchild for Socialism?

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[Found here because they linked to us. Appears to be a pro-communist Swedish blog, but I dunno, Babs.]

Saturday Matinee – Ghosts & Vapors, Pink Dub, Midnight Animals Oil, Ramones California Sun


Ghost caught on video!
“Booo! Booo! Run for mayor somewhere else! Booo!”
[Found here. Don’t jump to a Beer Summit conclusion, there’s more to the story.]

[Found here. Welcome to Electric Pelosiland.]


No video, but the concept is great. Pink Rock Floyd Steady Dub.

Nice cover of the Animals’ 1965 hit by Midnight Oil. But here’s some trivia: The song was written by Barry Mann. (More about him here.)

Oh, yeah.

The Manly Blogger Guy Award

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I never turn down awards, even from Archie. He and I don’t see eye-to-eye on basic economics and politics.

I don’t recall exactly, but I think we had a cordial discussion on whether a janitor should be paid the same as the owner of the company that employs the janitor, and  I said no.  Regardless, Archie’s basically a good guy with a cool blog.

Since I don’t wear perfume, I’ll pass on this prized and coveted award to:
Amy Oops
Raincoaster
Nurse Myra
VE
Feng
and Nick.

[Thanks, Arch: All in fun, dude!]

It’s Beer & Blame Day!

Blame 2009

I smell another media frenzy coming up.

[Created with help from this.]

[Update: This is funny.]

Pay No Attention: Redux

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On 27 May 2009, Tacky Raccoons offered a creative challenge that apparently stumped all of our readers, except for one.  That challenge was met by  a man of good honor, obsequious habits, and great initiative.  Above is the original image from here.  Below is the excellent modified and annotated image from VE:

protest

Of course, I gotta add my own snarky takes as well, below the break.

Continue reading “Pay No Attention: Redux”

Popeye Dead at 108

Popeye_Smoke & a Coke

Santa Monica, CA (Strutts News Services) – Legendary mariner and celebrity, popularly known as “Popeye” passed away at 2:30AM PST Thursday at St. John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California.  Leaving behind no documents to prove his full name, Popeye suffered quietly for years from complications caused by hypertension due to  a lifetime of sea salt inhalation.

Popeye’s last words were reported to be, “That’s all’s I can stands, and I can’t stands no more!” before he drifted off.

Continue reading “Popeye Dead at 108”

Big ‘ol honkin’ Earth Fart is related to Dolphins.

Earthfart

Matua Island, MFN* (Strutts News Services) – It happens:

“This detailed astronaut photograph is exciting to volcanologists because it captures several phenomena that occur during the earliest stages of an explosive volcanic eruption. The main column is one of a series of plumes that rose above Matua Island on June 12. The plume appears to be a combination of brown ash and white steam. The vigorously rising plume gives the steam a bubble-like appearance. The eruption cleared a circle in the cloud deck. The clearing may result from the shockwave from the eruption or from sinking air around the eruption plume: as the plume rises, air flows down around the sides like water flowing off the back of a surfacing dolphin. As air sinks, it tends to warm and expand; clouds in the air evaporate.”

The phrase, “detailed astronaut photograph,” disturbs some folks, as there is no astronaut, detailed or otherwise, in the image.  Assuming there was such an entity, and that the image was indeed captured via a detailed astronaut, there are many unanswered questions that need to be answered or otherwise ignored.  For example:

Matua IslandWhich way was this “detailed astronaut”  being pointed when the picture was taken? What size mm lens, what film speed (400 ASA or greater?) and what was his/her f-stop setting?  Where was this detailed astronaut’s aperature located?  Who aimed the astronaut?  How on earth did he/she control the shutter speed?

Regardless, it’s a cool photo.

[Found here. Tip o’ the tarboosh to cbullitt. Related post here.]

*Middle of Freakin’ Nowhere.

[UPDATE: THERE’S VIDEO!]

Barf Barf Barf Barf Barf Barf Barf

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Save bucks, buy Barf in bulk. Kinda Pythonesque.

[Image found here.]