Wave Hello To Honest Joe – Rubin Goldstein

“Nobody outside his family knew his real name. Dallas knew him as Honest Joe. For nearly three decades Honest Joe’s pawn shop was one of the central hubs of activity in Deep Ellum. He sold everything from gold watches to prosthetic limbs to automatic weapons. His two-story building was covered in hand-painted signs and hubcaps – or was it? It was covered in signage and hubcaps, but as for the two-story part . . . well, that’s another story . . .”

[Top photo by Thomas Hoepker (1963) found here. Second photo found here (with a must-read history); third here; fourth here.]

Make Your Ride A Basic Bitch.

pumpking-spice-motor-oil-bitch

Didn’t even know this was a meme until Bunkessa gave me the lowdown. I’m so lasterday.

[Found here.]

Bart Simpson’s Lawyer

Bart Simpson's Lawyer

[Found here.]

WAAAAATERRRRR

WAAAAATERRRRR

[Found here.]

Ale Wars

its-a-chalice

[Found here.]

Now Hiring

Creative Signage

[Found here.]

Ichiban Home For Rent

Oriental Garden Home with Pool

I think it looks nicer without the mosquito farm. [Found here.]

Product Placement

BBQ&A

[Found here.]

Truth in Advertising

fruit-medley-1.jpg

Found this nice package lounging around on the Family Strutts Butcher Block. (The FSBB is just another flat surface where a lot of unrelated items collect.) This caught my eye last evening, and I thought, “Wow. A ‘Fruit Medley,’ and precisely 1.90 ounces of it.” So I did what any one of you would have done. I took it to the bathroom.

I stood on the bathroom scale and noted my weight (including clothing, trenchcoat, mudcaked chukka boots). Then I weighed myself again, including clothing, trenchcoat, boots, AND the package labeled “Fruit Medley,” and subtracted the difference. I found that the “Fruit Medley” weighed in at 2.046 ounces. “What a windfall,” I thought. I couldn’t wait to find out what was in the package, and without flushing, ran back out to the kitchen (after washing my hands of course). I opened the box and found this:

fruit-medley-2.jpg

Looked just like the package photo. I gotta admit that the package also says, “Our Family’s Best Since 1906,” and I imagine that a bushel of fruit from over 100 years ago might look something like it.

But that’s not the point of this post. Daughter Bunkessa showed me this:

baked-bread.jpg

It’s a bag of bread, labeled “Baked Bread.” Forget that it’s apparently made from wild berry flour, it’s baked bread. I’ve had the other kind, and it’s a lot like a cold bowl of Hormel chili.

But that’s not the point of this post either. While I was in the bathroom weighing the “Fruit Medley” I noticed this on the counter:

facial-cream-cleanser.jpg

Think about this. If you wash your face with facial cream, and the cream gets dirty and disgusting, what can you do? This product solves the problem.

Is this a Great Country or what?