Category: Cool

Cubism Carbism

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Paris, France (Strutts News Services) – French automaker Citroën unveiled its latest line of economy vehicles on Thursday, named the “Picasso Series.”

Famous for providing inexpensive reliable transportation for France’s large peasant population following WWII, they have now moved forward into the Cubist Design movement of the 1920’s as they unveiled the latest in a successful line of popular automobiles.

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Chief Industrial Design Engineer Evi Poignée-Bouton de Porte (photo above ca.1994) remarked, “The Picasso design, it is timeless. It shall continue to inspire all well into the Winter.”

[Both photos via No Puedo Creer, an excellent site. In English, it translates to “I Can’t Believe It!” ]

Pirates Attack Venice with Rabbit

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Venice, Italy (Strutts News Services) – Pirates mounted an attack on this historical port Thursday. In classic Piratese, the invaders hollered “Avast ye scalawags! Scuttle yer dragoons! Behold the Cuniculus of Doom! Arrrggh!” as they piloted toward their conquest of the City of Wet and opened fire.

Once the battle was underway, Cap’m Pomello di Porta, with eye patch, peg leg and parrot, retreated to the foc’s’l. “All ye lobsconses hae control. I’m goin’ below to play wit me byrd.”

52 cannon shots peppered the vicinity with what locals described as “magenta e fuscia rabbiti pellettis.”

No one was injured, no one walked the plank, and the pirates were captured and mocked mercilessly by German tourists. A massive Hassenpfeffer was prepared for the victory celebration.

[Full story with video and music here, via Hanuman.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 2

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If I was a Dog

Via Arbroath.

Nuclear Retractable Reciprocating Directional Pop-Up Sprinkler Head With State of the Art Fully Adjustable Hose Clamps Passes Tests !

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No other explanation necessary, and they should be hitting the market soon. You won’t find this in the MainStreamMedia.

(Photo link lost due to global warming. We’ll repost & credit the source when we find it. Honest.)

UPDATE:  Here be the source.

Mower Breeder

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The young ones always follow their mother. Obviously he’s breeding, raising and training them somewhere in Port Huron, and I bet he gets big bucks for every trained thoroughbred mower, too.

(Photo from Port Huron Times Herald, via OMGPlasticJesus.)

Mrs. Jenkins

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Mrs. Jenkins. Everyone knew her by name, yet she knew none of ours. She never spoke, except when we walked down the line pretending to stick our fingers down our throats.

Mrs. Jenkins was The Lunch Lady, and she had a hair net and a mole. She worked the serving line in the Maple Dale Elementary School cafeteria serving up fluorescent orange “sloppy joes” on buns that were more like pancakes; warm egg salad; green orbs with orange cubes (both having the consistency of PlayDoh) labeled as “peas & carrots;” and cheeseburgers consisting of a rectangular piece of asphalt roof shingle with a triangle of Velveeta. Oh, yeah… macaroni and Velveeta was available everyday.

EVERYBODY REMEMBERS MRS. JENKINS.

And now you can purchase Mrs. Jenkins, The Lunch Lady Action Figure just as you remember her and make her eat that garbage.

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The Lunch Lady Action Figure comes complete with steam table inserts for Mac & Velv, PlayDoh Peas, Mystery Meat, and all the other choices we shunned as kids. (Honest, I’m not shilling for them, but it’s available here. Other photo from here.)

Do the Camel Walk

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James Brown, aka Butane James, Mr. PleasePleasePlease, Mr. Dynamite, The Hardest Working Man In Show Business, Soul Brother No. 1 & The Godfather of Soul shows you how to do the dances you heard about, but rarely saw (at least not as good as JB could do ’em), and all within a minute and 39 seconds:

1.The Crab Dance

2.The Boogaloo

3.The Funky Chicken

4.The James Brown

5.The Mash Potato

6.The Camel Walk

7.The Robot

8. The Soul Train

I’m not sure about the name of the first dance, since it’s in  JamesSpeak. Video link jumped out at me and made me get up and get on down, from Arbroath.

The Zen of Nancy

Ernie Bushmiller’s “Nancy” was one of the most innocuous yet ubiquitous comic strips ever. It was never funny or clever, it was just odd, and it ran in hundreds of papers for decades. There are many Nancy afficionados/analysts out there, just google ’em. One of the best taps into the zen of the strip, with a game called, “Five Card Nancy,” and it’s not funny either.

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Although Nancy didn’t have a mom or a dad in the strip, her Aunt Fritzi took care of her. Fritzi was a babe, and better looking than Blondie. Honest.

Nancy’s best friend Sluggo was odd in his own zen-like way:

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There are so many pointless, humorless comic strips around today that try to be funny. At least Bushmiller’s “Nancy” was deliberately pointless and rarely humorous, but it was drafted in a tight recognizable style.

Sources: Nancy panel clipped from the Sunday funnies years ago; Aunt Fritzi from here; Sluggo panels from here and here.

HE has a sense of humo(u)r.

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Yamba, New South Wales – (Strutts News Services)

Once again, GOD played a prank on the seaside community of Yamba on Thursday when he purchased a bottle of Ivory Liquid, metasized it, and poured it into the Pacific Ocean just 10 miles off the coast. The ocean knew what to do and churned up foam that spread 30 miles.

“Only the Almighty could pull one off like this,” said resident Robert “Dinker” Dinques. “We joke alot that HE must be bored watching us and all, and once in a while HE stirs the pot up a bit.”

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Photos via Arbroath. True story may be found there as well.