Category: Gift Ideas

How To Win At Hoseface

Oh, man, this is a game I’d fight to get in on.  I don’t care if it was manufactured and sold by Hasbro, Milton Bradley, Ohio Art or Whammo, the pure psychological strategy of this simple game is awesome.

First step is to show up to the party early. Then get the ante to a decent level, and once the pot is there, that’s when you talk about how you practiced with the set earlier. Of course you don’t remember which color you practiced with, as you start sniffling and hacking a bit. (Complaining about a slight fever helps.) Then start the game immediately, and without hesitation, hock up a loogie into the trash can.

Gentlemen’s rules say anyone who quits forfeits the pot. INSTANT WIN!

[Found here.]

Hey, Mr. Spaceman

“Flash Bazbo, Space Explorer, reporting for duty, SIR!”
With a space helmet like that, those would be the first words out of my mouth, right before I was sent to the Outer Realms on a mission to explore and conquer The Planet of the Mind Gobblers.

[Found here.]

Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas, and I hope Santa brings you what you wish for.

Another Great Stocking Stuffer

So you’re getting your daughter a Heathkit stereo preamp for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Other, and you need some ideas for stocking stuffers. Strippers and dykes are always handy for working on electronics, but she’ll flip when she finds a My Little Pony Soldering Gun in her little Doc Martens that were hung by the chimney with care.

Consider it a safety measure, as she’ll no longer have to heat up a piece of bent coat hanger wire over the gas burner with your needle nose pliers in order to solder resistors and diodes, and she can move her projects off of the kitchen counter and into the living room next to the Christmas non-denominational holiday tree. (Don’t forget the fireproofing!)

This holiday gift-giving hint is just one more benefit to all loyal patrons of Tacky Raccoons.

Frank Tends The Machine

For those of you who have never run across the artwork of Jim Woodring, you’re missing out on some of the most surreal (and sometimes disturbing) pen and inkwork that I’ve seen. Woodring based a lot of his subject matter on hallucinations he had as a child, and decided to record them on paper.

His most recognizable character is Frank, a good guy who goes on bizarre adventures, often accompanied by Madame Pupshaw (sort of a cat) and Pushpaw (sort of a dog). None of the characters speak.

We’ve posted some of Woodring’s work previously. He did me a nice favor once, so I don’t mind suggesting that you visit his store for unusual gifts for the hard to get folk.

[Crossposted here.]

Another Great Gift Idea: Pure Class

[For the sake of anonymity, we’ve blunked out the eyes in a very amateurish fashion so you don’t accuse us of photoshopoopage… and no, that’s not me.]

Let’s compare these two photos.

The guy on the left is despondent, bummed out about everything in his miserable little life. Stuck with a wardrobe full of green and gray, the person who took the photo had such little respect for him that she deliberately offset the negative karma with her thumb.

Contrast that with the photo on the right.

The guy on the right is obviously very successful and satisfied with his lot in life, and enjoys it immensely. And he has an adult beverage camouflaged as coffee when it’s intuitively obvious to the casual observer that it’s a cup full o’ jack.

Why are we posting such an incredible story of success here? Because you too can become successful, and it’s also the start of the holiday season.

Click on either of the images above and they’ll take you to a CafePress store where you can purchase lots of wonderful things. We don’t make any money on the sales, but a percentage of the sales price goes directly to charity.

When you place your orders, tell Christopher Y. that Bunk sent you, and I bet you’ll get a discount.

If you don’t see what you want, lemme know in the comments and we’ll respond. If  you need a custom design, we can do it with short notice.

And there was something else I was gonna say about being an amateur blogwhore, but I lost my train of thought…

[Update– Czech out Amy’s Store, too.]

SleepNoMore™

Too much time at the telemarketing terminal today? Not enough time to catch all your favorite programs even though they’re all properly TIVO’d?

Do we have the product for you. SleepNoMore™ is guaranteed to keep you alert and focused until sleep deprivation fatigue sets in… which brings us to an added bonus — no more washing bed sheets.

It’s yet another great innovation from the great minds at Professional Appliances, Inc., a division of Opposable Thumbs Corporation. Not available in stores.

[Found here.]

Church Seats Are Go

Some of you may have noticed an improvement in the Tacky Raccoon HQ rec room restrooms recently. Yep, that’s right, the old cracked wooden butt-pinchers have been replaced with Church Seats. We’re going green, and the best part is that Church Seats will stay stunning.

[Found here, via here. Crossposted here.]

THIS made my day.

While websurfing today, I found another of Raincoaster’s blogs (how many do you have, rain?) Here’s a screenshot:

Now that by itself may not impress you, but lookee here:

Yep, CafePress is advertising with Bunk designs from here and here. Made my day!

It’s Me Hot, Mon

Got yer Halloween costume picked out yet? No? Well here’s just the accoutrement for you, an inflatable tam, just like the ones popularized by real Rastafarians. One size fits most, so if you’re a fathead you can’t wear it, and anyone who wears one of these is by default a fathead. Rock steady, mon.

[Found here.]