DJ Scratchmo has a wide variety of music compiled on eleven 45rpm records for all your party needs. Well dressed and well mannered, reasonable rates. No website, no email, no cell phone, no way to contact him whatsoever.
[Found here.]
Category: Humor
A Hurling Player Lives Here.
Don’t know the ancient Irish game? It’s a brutal combination of football, soccer, rugby, field hockey, baseball, jai alai and golf, traditionally played without pads or helmets and the best players have facial scars and are usually missing teeth. Since 1 January 2010 helmets are required at all levels. Spoilsports.
The goal is to get the silotar (a hardball about the size of a cue ball) over or under the goalposts with a hurley (an oversized wooden spoon) by throwing it, tossing it up and batting it, carrying it on the hurley while running, or driving it down the pitch with an underhand smack.
A team gets one point for getting it over and through the uprights, and three points if it gets it past the goal keeper into the net underneath the goal posts.
If you ever get a chance to see a hurling match, you’re in for some fun, and you HAVE to watch the game or you risk serious injury from speeding silotars and sharp flying broken hurleys. Tip your ale only between plays.
Housebreaking Your Annelid
As with any pet, the first rule is to be firm and consistent with training, and remember that rewards generally work better than punishment.
Reward your annelid when it behaves well. Fill up the bathtub with damp (not wet) newspaper and coffee grounds for your annelid to explore. They love it!
Express your displeasure as soon as possible when your annelid misbehaves so that it connects its actions with your disapproval.
Do not yell at your annelid as they cannot hear. Stomp your feet instead. In severe cases of disobedience, keep a salt shaker nearby.
If your annelid leaves castings about the house, lock your pet in a brightly lit room for 10-15 minutes after rubbing your annelid’s nose in it. Dispose of the castings in the garden. Once your pet makes the connection between in-house castings and bright light, the number of “accidents” should diminish.
When your annelid learns to moosh at the door to go out to leave castings, reward it when it returns by allowing it to explore any dark damp space, like that puddle next to the sump drain in the basement.
Above all, be patient. Properly trained and cared for, your annelid should live 10 years or more; otherwise you’ll find it dead and dried up on the sidewalk and all the love and affection will be gone. Enjoy!
[Top image found here.]
3 Hot Chicks and a Hot Car
Nothing like a little innocuous innuendo in a post title to generate a cheap and sleazy traffic spike.
Speaking of the classic “Hot Rod Lincoln,” here’s the version that was covered by Johnny Bond, that was covered by Roger Miller, that was covered by Commander Cody, that was covered by Asleep At The Wheel:
Charlie Ryan & the Timber Riders hit the charts on 9 May 1960 with “Hot Rod Lincoln” even though it was recorded in 1955. Unfortunately the videonazi bastards prevent embedding it here, so you gotta click to hear it.
Saturday Matinee – Tea Party, Neil Innes, Johnny Cash, Eddie Cochran, Weird Al
The Tea Party protesters are really getting out of hand. Here’s footage from 20 March 2010 in Washington D.C.
[Update: Oop. My mistake. Those aren’t Tea Party people.]
Neil Innes was a protester before you were a protester.
Johnny Cash’s snare drum is awesome.
Turn up the treble for this classic from Eddie Cochran.
I’m 16% behind Weird Al on this, and 84% behind him on this one:
Have a great weekend folks.
Gravity Fools
Welcome To Tiny Town
When I see an electron image of something as awesome as the USS Enterprise created in the land of the nano scale, I also think of this:
When I see an electron image of something as awesome as a toilet inside of the USS Enterprise created in the land of the nano scale, I think of this:
When I see an electron image of something as awesome as someone sitting on a toilet inside of the USS Enterprise that was created in the land of the nano scale, I think of this:
It’s a bacteriophage. It’s not a nano sculpture, it’s a living death threat that’ll jump right up your butt if you’re on the nano Starship Enterprise, sitting on a nano Starship potty, and you can’t kill it by stepping on it. When I see an electron image of something awesome like that, I realize that it might be better if I stopped nano thinking.
Retro Sleds
From the Conspicuous Consumption Department, these beautiful custom automotive works of retro art are priced in the seven figure range. Knowing that, I couldn’t sleep at night if one of these penismobiles were parked in my garage, but it’s nice to know that someone can.
[More at Delahaye USA. Link found at Nurse M.’s place.]
Saturday Matinee – The Tick, Phi, Ken Nordine, Bootsy & The Zappas
The Tick came and went, but lives on the Utoobage. Here’s Part 1 of my favorite 1/2 hour episode: “The Funeral.” The next two parts are here and here.
Speaking of nature and mathema-Ticks:
The concept of Phi, graphically illustrated. [Found here.] Ken Nordine had a great take on the Fibonacci Sequence as well:
Bootsy’s New Rubber Band’s got a nice groovejam going with a left handed shredder.
Here’s a fun compilation, “Peavey Nation,” by the Sons of Zappa, featuring a cameo by Dick Clark.
Have a great Easter weekend, folks.
April Fools Day
If you don’t like this collection, click on the refresh button. Happy Birthday to all yinz what be done borned on April 1.
Tacky Raccoons 