Category: Humor

I WANT THIS.

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In daylight it just screams “Outta My Way, Butthead!”

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But at night, it whispers, “Vaporizer Ignition Sequence Activated.
T minus ten and counting…”

“Check it out at night. This baby can be driven from a seated or standing position, fully envelops five in an interior that’s cozily lit and decoratively carpeted, has a premium sound system, and a centrifugal clutch. Then there’s the external rust patina—better call Maaco right now, because next year this color’s going to be impossible to obtain. Oh, right…not licensed for use on public roads, and the whopping price tag does not include shipping and handling. It’s going to take a lot of handling to get this to your place. On the other hand, it could become your place with just a few minor alterations.”

Before I order it, I need to verify if the water cannon is included or if it’s an after market add-on.  I still want it for neighborhood protection.  Couldn’t verify the size of the cooler either, but I understand that the hologram projector is a standard option.

[Images and italicized description from here.  Buy it for me, here.]

Another Great Gift Idea: Etch-A-Line

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Bryan, OH (Strutts News Services) – Etch-A-Line-X from Ohio Art promises to be a big seller this season, second only to Etch-A-Dot.  This excellent version allows children with Y-Y comprehension problems to ignore the difficulties inherent in the original product. Etch-A-Line-Y, the companion toy, allows children to explore the Y-Y axis by scrolling the “etch” vertically on the screen, i.e., up and down.

For those children who might be uncomfortable with two dimensions, Ohio Art has the Etch-A-Dot, which cleverly replaces the non-user-friendly single rolling knob with a red “Press This Button” activation device.  Press the Red Button, and you’ve got a dot.  The “Dot” provides instant gratification, a minimalist work of art, and it’s clever as well, since the “dot” is ALWAYS at the precise center of the screen.

What the Future Holds:  Production of the fourth companion product, (Etch-A-Line-Z) is on hold for now.  Preliminary evaluations resulted in the temporary blindness of a substantial number of volunteers. Prototype Z is being re-evaluated for distribution in late August of the year after next before this one.

[From here. Nice archive of other excellent gift ideas here.]

Where’s Waldork?

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[Image from here.]

Sef ‘splanatory, Foo.

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Yet another fine specimen for FinPeng’s Archive. Related posts here.

[2nd image from Nurse Myra.]

Chuck never blinks. Here’s why.

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A fine specimen for FinPeng’s Archive. Related posts here.

[Lost the source for this image… maybe from Bits&Pieces.]

Some White People Are Just Embarassing

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Something tells me that his chances of procreating are about nil (this Centaur is obviously a gelding). Anyone have a video of him “prancing?” Thanks to Mr. Horsey, we’ve added a  new category for “Moronic White People.” He’s the first, and prolly not the last, entrant.

[Image from here.]

Saturday Matinee: Hubba inna Jiggawah Rip It Up Pressure Cooker

1959’s “Shombolar” by Sheriff and the Ravels post dated The Chips’ “Rubber Biscuit” by a few years, but had some of the same Hubba inna Jiggawa phrases. Gotta love it. (Watch for the Dick Dale cameo.)

Bill Haley & the Comets’ “Rip it Up” (ripping off Little Richard’s original verision). Awesome jitterbuggin’… Lookee here for mo betta.

1957’s “Untamed Youth.” Scary stuff.

This one’s for Aussie Phil. Ready for some speed blues? Here’s “PRESSURE COOKER.” Clarence Gatemouth Brown was one of the most underrated bluesmen of the modern era.  He was one of those rare folks that if you told him a set of jumper cables was an instrument, he could play ’em.

The .GIF Friday Post 55: rofl copter, ride the snake, but don’t say this to a goose.

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Just Wrong.

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Look. If I saw it by accident, y’all deserve the same privilege.

[Image from here.]

[Insert Surferspeak Here]

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This embarrasses me… Not for her, but that someone actually designed and built that P.O.S. backdrop, with the lime jello wave and the cauliflower/Pearl Harbor bombing sky, and took some of her retirement money for the photo.  Some people have no shame, and I wish I’d thought of it first. (Is that Corky Carroll’s mom?)