Here’s Where We Left Off…

From Yesterday’s episode:

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“‘How do I do it?’ I get the kids to do it. They made the mess in the first place. Get up off the floor, honey, and bring me a beer.”

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“Thanks, Hon! I thought we were out!”

“No, dear. Don and Betty just arrived and they brought refreshments.”

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“Well look who else showed up! It’s Olivia and Harry!”

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“What did Harry bring, dear?”

“Uh, a bottle opener… with soda. Did you tell the kids to clean the bathroom?”

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“I thought Rick and Bob were coming.”

“They’re out by the community pool, discussing very important issues of the day, and dinosaurs. They should be here soon.”

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“Don’t worry about them, Dave! We gotcha covered! What’s that racket?!”

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“It’s Brenda from the next trailer over. Let her play it a couple of times, tell her how much you like it, and she’ll stop.”

“Brenda! Is that you? How are you! I need to replace the needle on the phonograph so it doesn’t damage your record. Meanwhile, have a beer!”

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“Honey, where are the kids?”

“Cleaning the bathroom, dear, like you asked.”

[Apparently, Ted and Sally found Mommy’s anti-stress medicine and were out for the rest of the evening.]

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“Hey everybody! Supper’s almost ready, but I forgot to fillet the fish! Let’s have another round!”

“Harry, you’re such a spaz.”

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“Nothing like fish with a good ale I always say.”

“Aw, B.S. Dave. You never say that. Where’s Rick?”

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“Right behind you, John! How ’bout a little after-dinner apertif? Where’s Dan? He was supposed to have dessert ready by now.”

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“Dan? Oh Da-a-an! Where’d he wander off to this time?…”

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[Epilogue: At 7:43 pm, a fist fight erupted over the ruined dessert. 8:25pm the camera crew from COPS arrived. By 9:06pm police had shut down the party, and incarcerated the residents of the entire trailer park, excepting, of course, Ted and Sally who were still navigating multiple dimensions of existence and couldn’t be detected readily.

Everyone lived happily ever after, even though they never spoke to one another again.]

All illustrations above are from the excellent archives of Plan59.

Okay, So Which Is It?

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“Okay, do it then. But you missed a spot, and they’re gonna be here in a half hour.”

“‘How do I do it?’ I get the kids to do it. They made the mess in the first place. Get up off the floor, honey, and bring me a beer.”

(Don’t get all humpy, folks, it’s all in fun.)
Photos via: Wiccan Doit & 1955 SOS Pads

Shadenfelines

It’s so hot I saw a dog chasing a cat chasing a mouse, and they all were walking.
It’s so hot I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
It’s so hot that even Al Gore can’t explain it.
It’s so hot that the people who live in Thermal California are laughing at you.

Okay. It’s Hot. Get over it. Like these Cat Wannabes.

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Meanwhile, here’s the Real Deal.
They’re not whining… just waiting.

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Photos via: Growabrain and Animals.

Grover C. Shaible’s Contribution to the World

I hope that I shall never see
A raygun as in Figure 3;
For if I do I must decide,
To laugh at him, or run and hide.

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I wouldn’t want this to be aimed in my direction. I don’t want my atoms dispersed and rearranged as little stinky catfood pellets, but Mr. Shaible scoffed at all the naysayers and went ahead to patent this evil Weapon of Mass Destruction in 1953.

More fascinating patents are archived in the Patent Room.

“What’s for Dinner, Honey?”

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“Pantry’s empty, dear. We gotta settle for cat food.”

(Photo source unknown.)

PBF Kicks Dead Brain Cells to Life

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Perry Bible Fellowship is one of the cleverest single panel comic strips I’ve seen in a long time, online or off. For those of you with kids, there are a few of them that push the PG-13 boundary. It’s a “why didn’t I think of that?” kind of a strip… Mad Magazine meets National Lampoon as edited by Steven Wright.

LOL Possums

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U.S. Homeland Security Breach Thwarted

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Douglas, AZ (Strutts News Services) — For the first time in recent memory, the U.S. government released details of the Homeland Security Virtual Border Fence in action. The virtual barrier was put to the test Thursday.

Two illegal aliens people lacking U.S. citizenship, attempted a breach before sunrise, but were stopped by the invisible barrier. They were arrested after breakfast, and released before lunch. At 4:33PM, they made their third and boldest attempt to cross, raising fists, with swords made of fomecore and acrylic paint.

Sister Starfire and husband Tor eluded authorities for several seconds before the “Virtual Screen Door” slammed shut right in their faces. Both were taken into custody again, and were sent to bed without supper.

U.S. Border Patrol Agent Collie Davis described the capture. “They didn’t look hispanic, and they both spoke fluent English. They kinda stood out, so we arrested them.”

Tor’s only comment: “I lost the Blue Orb of Power on my orc crusher. Otherwise, we would have made it. Can we get deported back to Eccleshall?”

Film at 11. Or not.

Batmobile Babe Magnet

I bet Robin drove this. Dork.

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Via: EatLiver.

[Update: More Babe Magnetism here.]

It Just Doesn’t Get Any Better Than This.

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From now on, everything you sit on feels like Mr. T.
Ugh.
More cool and very excellent Mr. T stuff can be found on SNTC.