Category: Stupid

International Blog Cup “Competition” Results

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I know all of you were waiting with bait-breath to find out if Tacky Raccoons made the first round cut in the “International Blog Cup” competition. We didn’t, even though I, Bunk, voted for myself twice each day for a week.

On the plus side, TR won well over 48% of the votes against a dopey music video advertisement website that takes no talent to post. Bill Clinton got elected President by a smaller percentage. Bunky regards the loss as a bittersweet victory.

34 to 32 is the final count, and TR conceded to our worthy opponent last night at about 11:55PM.  34 votes for our worthy opponent equals only five people who voted each day for a week and who like music videos posted on a bland website that gets it’s material solely from YouTube, and posted without commentary.  Oooh. Beat me, Daddy, Eight to the Bar.  Smacked down by a bot.

But we have more fun, don’t we. Heh.

[Image above from Hanuman showing all 32 TR hits. All in fun. –Bunk]

Wrong. Just wrong. Wait. Maybe It’s Right.

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Yep she’s preggo. Yep, she’s a Red Sox fan. And yep, there’s someone who specializes in adorning preggo bellies with graphics. Thank God it’s not me. Funny that someone would want a stranger painting their gut, slightly disturbing that someone else enjoys doing it for them, and scary that a lot of you don’t believe me and are going to click on the link to see more. Don’t do it.

[Link from GrowABrain, image with more preggo belly designs here.]

Finally a Raccoon Banner

Middle of the night. Tired. You just passed through the woods from Gramma’s house, and crossed over the river. You see him in your headlights. He’s there, standing in the middle of the road. He dares you to hit him, knowing that your wife and kids are in the car, not quite asleep. You slowly brake to a stop, wondering what to do next. Defiance charges the air with electrical impulses unseen in the damp humid darkness, felt only by the hairs on your unshaven back. You can’t back down, yet you recoil after coiling. That haunting apparition…

[Good God. Will Someone PLEASE finish this in the Comments Section? Otherwise it’s just gonna get worse, and I don’t wanna take responsibility for what might happen next.]

[Image source here, via Your Daily Awesome.]

Too Much Time

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BrerRick emailed me about the lolferret post. Said that someone’s got, “Waaay too much time on their hands,” even though the post was of “Bosley,” a ferret owned by the Weasel, a mutual friend.

Well, bro, if you work efficiently and play efficiently, one can find oneself with enough time to pay the bills, do the laundry, feed the lolpossums and oil the cat, scour the shovel, and still have time left over to post utter absurdities on our favorite website.

Unfortunately, eating and sleeping is a necessary waste of time, kinda like having to put your pants on when you’re not going outside. Kinda like making your bed when it’s just gonna get messed up again. Kinda like surfing the internest for posts and limiting the search to the sites that already link to yours.

I can’t possibly have too much time, and neither can you. Always look through the mud for the rainbow in the windshield, or you might end up like her.

[Photo via Arbroath.]

Where Do They Go?

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[Speaking of Natural Expressions, here’s this from SNTC.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 14 -“BUNKEEE! NOW!”

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“Hey Bunk! I think you gotta go!”
“Naw. Ignore her, it’s just my sister.”

[…to be continued…]

Mr.T Done NeeNo JibbaJabba Boutis Socks.

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1. Done gimme no jibbajabba, foo.

2. See Commandment above, foo.

3. Ah pity da foo done unnastan nummas ONE an TWO.

4. Ah done harley wanna touch dis green-shirt-wearin foo. He smell funny. An keep dose joov-nall-matchin-sock-foos behinda fents.

[Excellent album cover find from (the late) Your Daily Awesome. More Mr.T excellence may be found here and here. Oh yeah. Here, too.]

Another One Bites the Ducks: Daily Awesome

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Yeah, I know those are geese, not ducks. That’s not the point.
It appears that one of my favorite websites, Your Daily Awesome, has turned off its lights for good as of last Tuesday. In respectful memory, here are a handful of my favorite YDA posts, in shout-out fashion, and not in any particular order:

Animaris Rinoceros
Model Railroad Slums
Three Songs by Ledbelly
The Andy Kaufman YouTube Motherlode
The Picture of Everything
Koalas Aren’t Hard They Some Little Bitches
Hidden Messages in Leave It To Beaver
Mingering Mike
Ricky Jay & His Amazing Cards

Many others can be found in the archives. Thanks for all the awesome daily entertainment, Chas. Although I never met you, it still feels the same as if I never had. Here’s to last Wednesday’s yesterday, and we wish you well on your long road ahead.

Kiwis Rock: Largest Ball of Tape

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“Two young Kiwis have put New Zealand on the world map by gaining a Guinness World Record for the world’s largest tape ball. The record tape ball weighs a staggering 53kgs and has a circumference of more than 2.5 metres.”

Even though “Mr. Tape Ball” weighs about 117 pounds, he won’t sit in a car seat and won’t “buckle-up.” Mr. TB has an attitude that I don’t like. Mr. TB doesn’t rock. He rolls, and if I had to stop suddenly, I wouldn’t want his 117 pounds of attitude jamming my temporal, parietal and occipital lobes out through my nose. In other words, don’t expect a ride from me, Mr. TB. I’ll give you a push in a downhill direction, but that’s it.

[Good God. I’ve lost it. I’m talking to a ball of Kiwi tape that I met on the internet, in the back seat of a car that I don’t own.]

————-

The only American entry, from Kent State University, weighed a mere 28 kegs, but was captured on camera as well:

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[Top image from Scoop, via here, via GrowaBrain. Bottom image from experience.]

Saturday Matinee: Happy

The Beat Farmers, featuring the late Country Dick Montana singing “Happy Boy.”

A message from the makers of Happy Fun Ball.

Now for our Feature Presentation: “Happy.”