Disclaimer:
1. No cats were hurt during this post.
2. The animations are all contrived.
3. The sources for the .gif’s are clearly identified.
4. Forward this link to everyone on your blogroll.
5. Leave the toilet seat up after you’re done peeing on it.
6. Always flush with your feet.
The Ignosecond is roughly defined as the time between the moment one does something inherently stupid and the moment one realizes that it’s too late to stop the results of that action.
Example: You exit your car, lock the car door and swing it shut; immediately before the car door latches you realize that your keys are still in the ignition. That minuscule span of time is called the Ignosecond.
Underrated comedian Rich Hall coined the term “Sniglet” for something that ought to have a word to describe it but doesn’t. “Ignosecond” is such a word.
Because of the instantaneous nature of the Ignosecond, it’s very difficult to capture the image precisely when it occurs, so some of these images below are actually “Pre-Igno” and/or “Post-Igno.”
Although this “Post-Ignosecond” was staged, this happened to a college buddy who grabbed the “Head & Shoulders” shampoo instead of the toothpaste.
True ignosecond. The dog lived, but was never quite the same. His stance widened considerably, but other than that was fine, and earned the nickname “LowBrow.”
Post ignosecond for this dog who learned that he can’t herd boars.
True ignosecond. Both riders suddenly realized why bikers wear leather.
True ignosecond.
Pre-ignosecond has passed. Post-ignosecond coming up.
Pre-ignosecond. The guy on the left is about to try to scare the bear. Then he’ll experience the nasty end of the ignosecond.
Post ignosecond: “…and then when the beer spilled I dropped my cigareet onto my lap and that’s when I hit the ‘celerator instead of the brakes! Thank God it’s your wife’s car!” [True story from here via Arbroath.]
IGNOSECOND TRIFECTA! All three had their own ignoseconds caught on tape (four including the cameraman).
Years ago when Bunk was a lil’ tad, Momma Strutts accidentally locked the keys to the Ford Country Squire IN the Ford Country Squire, in the AGC grocery store parking lot. She called my father to bring the extra key. That’s when the ignosecond struck. While waiting for Papa Strutts to show up, I found that one of the rear passenger doors was still unlocked. Momma was not stupid; she deftly opened the door, and without saying anything, pushed the lock button down and shut it. I’ve always admired her for that.
[Images from [Insert Witty Title] and AmyOops.]
Was this an inspiration for the late great Ed “Big Daddy” Roth‘s “Weirdos?” We may never know. So here’s a bonus:
This was done by the same guy that did this one, here. As always, we like to credit original sources when we can. If anyone has a link to the original image or .gif creator, we’ll give ’em the thumbs up theirs and post the linkoids in technicolor.
“Lick it! Lick it good!”
[Jerry Casale’s first draft of Devo’s hit song praising racing dogs, 1980. Gif Source here.]
I can’t tell if those are carrots or misshapen Cheeto’s. They’re prolly carrots, given the Gubernator’s penchant for fitness and health. Donkeys like carrots, too.
And just to make up for that thinly veiled political jab at Mr. Schwarzenegger, here’s this bonus: California Tax Dollars at work.
[Both .gif’s prolly found here.]
Tacky Raccoons 