[Found here.]
Apebot
[Found here.]
Category: Stupid
I am not worthy of this honor…
…but Planetross IS.
Things like this happen…
…especially when I’m bored and have a Sharpie Marker nearby.
Welcome Finicky Penguin, Guest Poster
[Folks, FinPeng has been around the blogospheart at least as long as I have, commenting and blogging with some of the best. Several months ago he went scooters and abandoned the whole blogging thing… and now he’s back, as a guest poster.
He’s got a different style of posting than we do here at Tacky Raccoons, but we’ll put a bowl of kibble in front of him and see how it works out. So let’s all give a round of applesauce to Finicky Penguin! YAY! –Bunk]
Howdy, anyone who reads this first sentence or further. I’m Finicky Penguin, and you probably don’t know me from my old blog, Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Soda, now an archive of awesomeness. I’m not sure why I named it that. I never really liked The Beatles.
Anyway, if all went well, this is on the site and I’ll be making guest posts from time-to-time.
So, what is awesome?
- Wikipedia says something awesome inspires awe.
- Urban Dictionary calls it something Americans use to describe everything.
- Wikipedia in Svenska says awesome kan ha flera betydelser.
But I, above bulleted lists, prefer to not put awesome into words. Instead, I prefer to show awesome in picture and video. Now, tell me this isn’t awesome:
(Found it here.)
See that thing? It’s a bear. With chainsaw hands. You’d think it’s impractical, but look at it this way–
bears = awesome &
chainsaws = awesome, so
bear + chainsaw = double awesome (doubleawesome).
It can seriously dice your body so it can eat your fresh meatcubes. But what could make it more awesome? Sunglasses and a motorcycle, but if someone tried to construct a picture like that, their head would explode. I mean, there are several pictures of bears on motorcycles, but they lack the sunglasses and chainsaw hands, and that merits less awesome points than all three combined and the chainsaw picture, but more than the sunglasses.
This is the kind of stuff you get from me.
So anyways, hope to post again sometime. Sayonara.
Another Great Gift Idea: TREPANATION!
Great educational game for the hole family. Release the evil spirits, insert the jello, and your Patient’s nose lights up when his demeanor improves!
A traditional cure-all for conservatism, it has its dangers: Be careful! When the vote comes up and the Patient argues against frivolous spending and taxation, guess what? HE’S NOT CURED!
The game continues until each of the evil spirits have been vanquished and the Patient votes for nationalizing the banking industry, the automotive industry, the healthcare industry, runs for congress as a carpetbagger, opposes the NRA and Constitutional Amendments 1, 2 & 4, is coerced to vote CORRECTLY, or until he’s been otherwise completely incapacitated and forced to become a ward of the State himself.
Bonus points are awarded if the Patient joins Greenpeace, the Sierra Club, any union, or supports AGW before becoming incapacitated.
Once the Patient signs on as a democrat the game is over, and it moves to the next level: Change your Patient from a socialist to a marxist! (Requires upgrade to Trepanation 2.0.)
[Found here.]
CD Display FAIL.
Intentional mockery? Yanni? Naw. heh. *snork*
[Found here.]
Saturday Matinee: Translations
[Tip o’ the Tarboosh to Nicole for the ferrettage link.]
“Oh Liver! Don’t you know I gotta LEG?!”
[Another Tip o’ the Tarboosh to Dan S. in Idaho for this gem Happy Birthday, Dan.]
Ben E. and I jest…
This one is a repost. It keeps getting yanked from the Utoobage, but it keeps growing back like a fungus. I love it.
Other good news: Tube No. 1 restored “Dance Girl,” so the link HERE has been repaired.
Babe Magnet: Car d’boardage
When planning to turn a lame ride into something truly sucky, there are only four words to remember: Corrugated Cardboard ‘N’ Duct Tape. (The “N” word doesn’t count.)
So how do we analyze this pathetic attempt at true Babe Magnetage? Hard to say. But there are three likely scenarios.
1. The owner of this Ford POS has absolutely no budget, but works in a parts warehouse with lots of, um, materials at hand. He’s your run-of-the-mill petty thief, specializing in recyclables, and dreams about the world of industrial design while wishing he worked in a fiberglass plant;
2. The owner of the Ford POS got peer-punked by co-dorks who had some off-time when the local Arby’s closed, and decided to give him a high school graduation present consisting of one last mockery;
3. The owner of the Ford POS is a boob who ran out of spray paint to finish it off before attempting to sell the Ford POS on Ebay as an Eddie Bauer Edition.
We predict the project will be abandoned while still in its infancy.
The cardboard spoiler and skirts will be torn off leaving big ol’ honkin’ duct tape marks where the paint used to be, and the owner of the Ford POS will decide to up the ante for True Babe Magnet Status (think flat black spraypaint finish with green and orange fluorescent spackle flames) before he dumps it off on his gullible younger brother for an amount that will take him years to pay off.
Pure efficient genius.
[Image found here. Excellent collection of more Babe Magnetage here.]
P.S. I keep forgetting to use the forbidden word “retarded.”
Flight 812, non-stop to Poopville, now boarding all rows…
But not in a Row
[Image from here.]
Tacky Raccoons 
