[Another terrifying image from Arbroath.]
Green Scary 2
[Another terrifying image from Arbroath.]
Category: Stupid
Green Scary 1
[From Arbroath.]
More Hot Covers
(Ciclk ot mkae tehm bgeigr.)
What scares me about these is that they have SOUNDS. SOUNDS that someone liked enough to purchase, so that they could hear the SOUNDS over and over again. (I completely understand wanting to have THIS compilation, and if I ever get a cell phone, the ringtone’s gonna be Leonard Emmanuel’s “Old Timey Holler.”)
[Strider has an excellent collection of crappy album covers, with commentary, here. Related TR archive post here. New crappiness from here.]
Bizarre Marketing Concept That Doesn’t Work
The great minds of the marketing department at Volkswagon have come up with this dealie. The idea is that you plug in your picture, and that of your spouse, and it shows you what your offspring will look like, all animated in the back seat of a VW something. Very odd, but here’s the link:
http://www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/
We at Tacky Raccoons took a test drive on this bizarre concept, just to see how it would run. Here are the results:
Experiment No. 1: Sarah Palin & John McCain
PLUS 
EQUALS
Experiment No. 2: Joe Biden & Barrack Obama
PLUS 
EQUALS
Experiment No. 3: Marilyn Monroe & Bunk Strutts
PLUS 
EQUALS
Results: A pairing between a dead sex symbol and a live possum appears to result in better looking progeny than those of the other candidates, and if I say any more, I’m just gonna get in trouble with the lovely Mrs. Strutts who’s holding a hot skillet and asking me what the hell I’m doing. Gotta go. Talk amongst yourselves…
Desperation
[Cheap Shot found at Phil’s Place.]
Cell Phones Cause Global Warming
[Source.]
Big Oil. Right.
Lets talk about Big Oil. Honkin’ Big Oil. Big ol’ Honkin’ Big Oil. You know which Oil I’m talking about.
A barrel of crude oil (oil that is kinda obnoxious and rude) is 42 gallons, and a gallon is 128 fluid ounces. If a barrel of oil costs $100, then a gallon of oil costs $2.38 in US dollars. That means that an ounce of oil costs less than two cents. Not a bad deal.
Big 3-In-One Oil: Three fluid ounces for $2.99 equates to a buck an ounce. Since 1 gallon = 128 ounces, the price of 3-In-One Oil is $128.00 per gallon. Outrageous, but where’s the outrage?
Big Baby Oil: 20 ounces for $5.49. Talkin’ only $35.14 per gallon, baby.
Big Tiki Oil: 8 ounces of paraffin oil has a price of $4.65, or $0.58 per ounce, $74.40 per gallon. But if you buy a 55 gallon drum for $1,080.00, the price comes down to $19.64 per gallon. Quite a deal.
Now, let’s look at Olive Oyl. Big Olive Oyl. Big Virgin Olive Oyl.
Okay, Big Extra Virgin Olive Oil is selling for $26.00 for 33.8 fluid ounces which equals 77 cents per ounce. There’s a whopping $98.46 per gallon that nobody’s screaming about. Why? Because Ray doesn’t yell at Bob, “Hey Dude! You forgot the Extra Virgin Olive Oil again! I’m gonna kick yer ass!”
“But Bunk!” you holler, “That’s oil that you can eat!” I’m with Bob. At $98 bucks a gallon I ain’t a-gonna spring for no Olive Oil any more. And at $128 per gallon for 3-In-One, hell with it. My hinges are gonna squeak. Quit whining and deal with it.
Let’s drill for the cheap stuff to make it even cheaper.
Saturday Matinee: Bears
Proof that the news media is biased. Forget the pier! I wanna know more about the bear!
[From SPLHCS.]
“Stupid dopey trash-rap a-comin’, comin’ up. Whoa.
Guy in a bear suit, with rappin’ comin’ up. Whoa.
Patient wit da video, be patient comin’ up. Whoa.
Babe Magnet, bear suit, all be comin’ up. Whoa.”
[Lyrics from “In’ Up-Whoa” by MC Daddy BS, Strutts Music 2008.]
Actually SoulJah Bear is kinda funny to me, especially with the video editor’s comments. Kinda almost cool, just like The Howlies. Here’s SoulJah Bear’s obvious inspiration:
Bunky remembers Dancing Bear in black and white. Bunky really liked Captain Kangaroo. Bunky really didn’t like Scary Dancing Bear.
“Pachuca Sunrise,” Minus the Bear.
Daughter Bunkessa heard this song as “I Come From a Land of Hunger.” It’s got a bear in it, too.
Roadtrip
My Senior Yearbook Photo
What it doesn’t show are all the little chicks with the crimson lips who were pawing all over me during the mid 70’s. Right. And if I could go back in time and change my REAL Senior Class photo to this one, I’d do it. Aw, but I was so much older then.
[Image created here, from Epic’s link.]
Tacky Raccoons 