Category: Stupid

Babe Magnet: The James Bondomobile

Well, what do we have here, but a Pontiac POS that’s obviously in the process of restoration by the assistant manager of the world renowned Cable Car Hotel.   Hmmm.  Babe Magnet perhaps?

Smells like San Fran to me, and since the sun seems to be setting, I’d guess that Assistant Manager Baboso is on the night shift, especially since no sane person would wanna be seen within ten feet of this Babe Magnet in the daylight.  To his credit, though, Ass. Man. Baboso knows how to park on a slope.

By the way, the only other image I found of the Cable Car Hotel is this one:

Maybe the owner of the four-wheeled flounder actually LIVES here.  My apologies to the manager.

[Images from here and here.]

Back To College Tips

Remember to keep hydrated. With a heavy glass schedule, multi-tasking saves time.

If choking on food, this is NOT the way to perform the “Heimlich Maneuver.” It might get you free beers, though.

Share a house/apartment/dorm room with people you can’t stand to save on beer money.

Stay tuned — More tips coming up.  Or not.

We have a Winner! Sorta.

Regarding THIS CHALLENGE, everyone who submitted a .jpg file of a guy pointing directly at the Hi-Def camera during the NY vs. Boston game, 4 July 2008, at Yankee Stadium, won the prize.

Note that everyone who won is named Mik.

Here’s Mik‘s Winning Entry above, but it was not the one I was looking for.  Here’s the one I found below:

Since everyone (Mik) who entered emailed me to complain about the time they wasted trying to find the Pointer, I emailed Mik back with a detailed description of his prize:

A Genuine Motile WR30M “Third/Level Waterproof LED Back Light Sportwatch” (sic) made China, including display case and instructions!

Shown at right in its display case on top of tonight’s leftovers, it keeps time, beeps and lights up (as shown below right) and times things once you figger out the directions.  It’s apparently a knockoff of something made by Timex, but also something a 10 year old little bastard would prize until he finds out through trial and error that “water-resistant” doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing in Mandarin.

Mik had so much annoying fun with this contest that he’s declined his award (he already has a Chinese “sportwatch”) and is willing to donate it to a future event.  Bunk never argues against generosity.  Y’all are forewarned.  Another competition is in the works.  Or not.

[Thanks, Mik!]

The Influence of the Pueblo

[Images on the left are from the amazing Hanuman.
Images on the right are from here, here and here.]

Melonheads

Welcome to the Convention, guys.
Ignore the man behind the curtain.

In all truth, these fellas aren’t part of the DNC Convention protest crowd.  They’re pretty tame by comparison.  According to Zombie/LGF/Pajamas media, the communists and anarchists have joined up to protest the socialists for a fun filled week of idiocy.

Zombie, if you’re not familiar with him, is a photo journalist who infiltrates left-wing political and counter-culture protests and posts the images on his website.  Some of the images he captures include profanity laden banners (and blatantly obscene images in at least one street festival) so I won’t link directly to his website.  But you can see the latest coverage at both Pajamas Media and LGF.  It’s hilarious, if not pathetic.

[I lost the link to the Melonheads above, but it’s been around for a while.]

But Obama’s stared down dictators, too, right?

[Related posts here and here.]

Senator Joe Biden Stares Down Dictators

Wilmington, Delaware (Strutts News Services) –  According to an amazing number of news sources, Joe Biden was nominated earlier today as Obama’s VP because he’s “stared down dictators”  according to Barack Obama.

I imagine he did it just like this guy, and dictators all over the world collectively lost control of their bowels and changed their governments to democratically elected representative republics.

The world is a safer place because of Senator Joe Biden.

[UPDATE:  Strutts News Services reports 19,500 hits for a google search of “Joe Biden stared down dictators.” Name one dictator that Biden “stared down” and the results of that stare down.  The world is waiting.]

[UPDATE 2: Here.]

[UPDATE 3:  Welcome Malkinites!]

Independence Day 2008 at Yankee Stadium

Maybe I’m easily amused, but this reeks of coolness. It’s a pan & zoom image of Yankee Stadium during the Yankees vs. Red Sox game of 4 July 2008.  Boston won 6-4 on a freak triple.

[See below for the linkoids.]

Here’s the wide angle, and I decided to zoom in.  The second thing I was looking for was a guy who probably drives a Babe Magnet:  Where’s Waldork?

Game is underway, 1st Inning.

An obnoxious jerk can be found anywhere, and I guessed that the cheap seats would be a good bet.

This section looked promising.  Completely arbitrary guess.

Getting closer!  Stadium usher in the aisle is eyeballing someone…

Ooh!  We have a candidate, and it’s not the waterbed in the back row or the wannabe in the front.

WOOP! DEY HE IS!

Rock out dude! Everyone should be playing air guitar at a Yankees game!  Or are you yelling at the umpire already, as if he can hear you from a half-mile away.  DUDE, it’s only the first inning.  Chill.

Don’t double-dose your meds again, dood. Everyone’s ignoring you (except for the usher,  the lady in the red tunic and the one in white southwest of you on the previous image). What Babe Magnet do you drive, bro?

[Link found at Grow-A-Brain. The Very Cool Hi-Def Zoom/Pan image of Yankee Stadium can be found here.]

[UPDATE:  HERE’S A BONAFIDE COMPETITION. FIRST ONE OF Y’ALL TO EMAIL BUNK A SCREEN SHOT (.jpg file only) OF THE GUY IN THIS STADIUM CROWD WHO’S POINTING DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA WINS A VERY COOL PRIZE IN 100% WORKING CONDITION, INCLUDING BATTERIES AND INSTRUCTIONS, IN ORIGINAL PACKAGING!]

[This Contest is on as long as CNN/SI keeps their site open, or until a winner is announced on THIS website.  If CNN closes its site, and no one has offered/emailed a winning .jpg image to Bunk Strutts at the contact address CLEARLY shown above, this contest is closed, null and void, and we’ll snivel out of awarding anyone anything.  By submitting a .jpg image, y’all agree that this is all in fun and stuff, and everything that that this statement means in a colloquial sense releases Bunk and his Crack Team of Webminers from any and all legal responsibility.  In other words, we won’t owe you a damn thing beyond what is promised and awarded via these described caveats, no matter what… just a damn thing that works, beeps when it’s supposed to, and requires batteries. The prize-winner pays the shipping costs and may or may not owe Bunk a slab of coldies.]

[Update 26 August 2008:  Contest is now closed.  Winner to be announced.]

[UPDATE 28 AUGUST 2008:  WE HAVE A WIENER!]

Where the Wild Things Are

Yeah.  99% of the same DNA.  BFD.
We gots 83% of the same DNA as celery.

[Image from here.]

Humpy-Blogs.com

Babe Magnet: WWJD

That’s right.  What Would Jesus Drive?

According to one source, on 25 September 1990, Kelly Murray drove his ball 684.8 yards on the 30-foot wide airstrip at Fairmont Hot Springs, British Columbia, setting a new world record.

Of course, Jesus could drive as far as He wanted, but would hold back a bit so as not to completely eradicate the game.  He plays fair, and it’s not in His temperament to call His Father on the celestial cellphone and say, “Hey Pop! I got a 7:45AM tee-off time.  You mind warping space and time for a microsecond?”

On the other hand, He might just skitter one longways across a water hazard, up the bank, around a sand trap and into the hole instead, only to show that it can be done (and to inspire others to keep perfecting their game instead of yelling “F**K!” after each shot).

So what would He drive?  I’m guessing 150-175 yards with no wind… but He’d clean up with His putts.

[Image from here.]