Category: Stupid

Bunk Speaks

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Folks,

We’ve noticed a few broken links on past posts. If any of you happen to notice videos that don’t play, images that don’t load, lettuce know, and we’ll do our best to fix ’em. YouTube is kinda notorious for pulling videos, and if they yank ’em, we won’t know unless you tell us. Leave a comment on the post with the damaged linkage and we’ll give it a bandage, because, after all, readers of TackyRaccoons visit this site for perfection, and you rock.

Bunk

P.S. TackyRacoons made it past the first cut for January at www.iblogcup.com. 2nd elimination round is going on so vote once a day, but only if you really want to. Maybe we’ll win a cupcake or something. If so, we’ll share it with you because we like to share. It’s just the way we are. Sometimes.

[UPDATE: Tacky Raccoons came in 4th place in January, but there were apparently some shenanigans going on according to the webmaster. Sorry, no cupcake.]

Another Babe Magnet

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I can almost hear it now:

“Josh! Bryan! You won’t believe it– I just scored a 6-pack of carrot extract and, get this, a whole bag of sun-dried figs! ROADTRIP!!”

“Dude! Gotcha covered! Got some ‘Traditional Medicinals Organic Raspberry Leaf!’ We gonna boil some water tonight!”

(The only thing worse than that photo is the embarrassing notion that the industrial designer of the lame-o 1965 Ford Country Squire is still alive to see this.)

[Image buried in DRB. More Babe Magnetism here.]

UPDATE: We’ve gotten such excellent responses from the Babe Magnet posts that we’ve added a new category just to make it easier for you Babe Magnet hounds to find related posts. I guarantee you that there will be more on the way. –Bunk

Caption Contest Finalists: What You’ve All Been Waiting For!

The number of responses we received for our very last Caption Contest was overwhelming, approximately 200% over our initial estimate! What a turnout!

hovercat.jpgWe said we would do something with the entries, and since a prize was promised, it just wouldn’t be right to delete the post entirely. After several minutes of careful analysis and consideration, we decided to select the best of the top four captions as randomly as possible. So here are the candidates, in alphabotanical odor:

1. Dan: “The tread of the slipper was also very odd…”

2. Diesel: “After many setbacks, in 2008 the Boeing Corporation released the first fully functional hovercat.”

3. DUDR_1: “Next stop, CAT LAND!!!”

4. Finicky Penguin: “They knew he was up to something when he glued the cat to the 1-way mirror.”

Through the magic of computer technology, and rather than conduct a poll, we decided to use the random password generator to make the final decision. The first numeral, either 1, 2, 3 or 4, that appears in the first random password is the official winner. The prize is a password to download free cool stuff. So here we go:

e!jh'(}cC13R>Lk4″(H7zGZjF#uwCFVd6k6EH*$tmy3y(H|9uxLdXU70/X/%zUA

As candidate No. 1, Dan is the official winner of the password that allows him to download the coveted Free Cool Stuff and to rock out with bragging rights forevermore! God are we glad this is over with. And, Dan, the TR Grand Prize Van should be arriving at your driveway sometime after midnight tonight to personally deliver your password. Wait at the curb and wear a red carnation. We’ll see you there!

Pity. Fools. Them.

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(Somehow this is kinda appropriate after watching the New Hampshire “debates,” and I think Mr. T refers to the voting populace as well as the candidates for the presidency.)

[Image from somewhere past here.]

Front-Running Candidates for President of the U.S. Debate Their Own Presidentialityness

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New Hampshire, CA – (Strutts News Services)

Four Democrat U.S. Presidential hopefulls gathered tonight to discuss platitudes on nationwide television, and each arrived with trainers to keep them from attacking each other. (Senator Ed Norton was not present for this pre-debate photo op, but was recognized during the live video as someone else entirely.)

The first question from moderator Lannie Foosers set the stage for the remainder of the so-called debate. The question itself didn’t matter, as the answer for that one and all subsequent questions was, “I will fight for change and am prepared to agree with all who disagree with my nomination, and the current administration is at fault for that, and what you said as well.”

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Prior to the Democrat “debate” was the Republican “debate.” Candidate Ron Paul began the discussion before tape started rolling with, “Where is he? Obama was supposed to be here!”

The other Republican candidates all answered with, “You Fool! Of course we support the troops, and we’ll buy them lunch!” before moderator Lannie Foosers asked them each to attack Senator Obama on behalf of Senator Mrs. Bill Clinton.

We can all thank the writer’s strike for this absurd waste of network time. If Bunk was in charge, we’d be watching re-runs of The Prisoner with Patrick McGoohan instead.

[Top image from here, lower image picked off a page of the .pdf file linked from here.]

Saturday Matinee: The Gullible and the Hustlers

Penn & Teller are national treasures, and I’d post more from their cable show (“That’s B.S.“) except for some unnecessary language. This one has “a-h” in it, but otherwise it’s a great example of how gullible some folks can be. [More information about the dangerous substance described in the video may be found here.]

This clip’s from the British show “The Real Hustle.” It shows that anyone who even thinks of trying to beat 3-Card Monte is gullible and then some.

Here’s the original Monte, with the same outcome. I suggest if you see these betting scams that you run away quickly… you can lose just by watching. And if you think you’ve got the talent to run the game yourself, your health insurance better be paid up. Harry Anderson’s book “Games You Can’t Lose” is a pretty good exposé of scams like these also.

Lastly, here’s Paul Newman, Jackie Gleason, George C. Scott, in 1961’s “The Hustler.”

P.S. If you thought you were gonna hear “The Hustle” on this website, well, um, you can find that annoying song on your own.

[The Caption Contest is still open. And TackyRaccons was nominated for the iBlogCup again for January. Vote for the underdogs, and vote for TR here.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 18 – Dead Karl

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I’ve never seen a .gif animation as sophisticated as this one, at least not since, but there must be others as this is #3 in a series. (Please don’t expect us to post this kind of quality every Friday… we can’t!)

[Anyone have the original source for this one? We’d like to give credit.  Also, the Caption Contest is still on.]

Caption Needed: Apply Here.

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Leave a caption in the comments section, and of the two three four we receive by midnight Sunday, we’ll pick the best one and do something with it. Honest.

[Image via email, Tip ‘o the Tarboosh to SM.]

UPDATE: There’s a real cool prize involved…

Happy New Year 2008! A New Century!

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New Year’s resolutions. Hmmm. Good God there are so many to choose from and so many to ignore and reject. Okeh, I got a couple:

I shall endeavor to be more ascerbic.

I shall wake up when I want to, not when electricity tells me to.

I shall quit giving the cat rides in the dryer if it hasn’t gone in there voluntarily, and if it does, I shall provide a blanket to cushion it.

I shall stop complaining about cat hair on my chonis.

I shall personally snag the livers from the huge turkeys my lovely wife purchases only two times a year for the holidays and I shall cook them up with butter and eat them in private without telling anyone.

I shall not feel guilty when I snicker to myself.

I shall briefly consider presidential candidate endorsements from Chuck Norris, Oprah Winfrey, Barbara Streisand, and whatsisface (you know, that guy, the funny one who doesn’t write his own material) and ignore those endorsements altogether as idiocy, and shall vote for a candidate and issues that they do not support.

I shall continue to combat the forces of evil, and shall pay my bills on time, with the understanding that giving in does not equate to surrender.

I shall fart when and where I want to, and not when or where others think I should, because it’s none of their business, and it’s completely out of their control anyway.

I shall relieve stress, in the aforementioned way, and other ways that I’m not inclined to let you in on.

Those are way too many resolutions for me, but I’ll keep them… to myself.

Wish y’all and yours a prosperous New Year from Tacky Raccoons.

–Your Pal, Bunk.

[Image from here via here.]

When Dad Gets Into the Play-Doh

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[Image via here.]