Saturday Matinee – Government, Milk, Rainstorm, Phones & Violent Love

[Before we start our Saturday Feature Presentation, we found a great concise description that compares different types of government, with historical examples.  Folks, please take 10 minutes to  WATCH THIS, and then pass it on.]

We now resume our regular programming schedule.

Funny milk adverts [Found via Presurfer].

Turn up the sound. The first 1-1/2 minutes is VERY cool:  Rainstorm.

Dem Phones. Really. [Found here.]

Ingrid Lucia & the Flying Neutrinos have an excellent version of Willie Dixon‘s “Violent Love,” with a Billie Holiday groove. Too bad there’s not a live video.

1983 saw OingoBoingo at it’s peak, with a ska version of  “Violent Love.”  Bunk sat at a table next to them at Madam Wong’s without knowing who they were. Then they got on stage and cranked.  (Oh, yeah, if you didn’t know, the lead singer is Danny Elfman.  Yep. That Danny Elfman.)

Life Choices: Seahorses or a Monkey?

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“Hey Dad! I got a dollar! Can I borrow $19?”

It’s all in the advertising.  Note that the $1 seahorses are not “Darling Pet Seahorses” (never mind that the ones in the picture are kinda dead and dessicated, and that just about anywhere in the world one can dig up sea shells hundreds of miles inland)…

But monkeys!

My dad knew that seahorses wouldn’t crap all over the house, wouldn’t get into the cupboard in the middle of the night to get at the strawberry preserves by dropping the jar on the tile floor, and wouldn’t attack your face when you looked them in the eye.  Dad was wise beyond his years.

“So can I get the seahorses?”

“No.”

[Image from the back of a 1967 needlework and crafts magazine, shown here.]

Cephalopods: Cats of the Deep

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New York, NY (Strutts News Services) –   Thursday,  Whoopie Goldberg, Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and Sherri Shepard (while berating Elizabeth Hasselbeck for daring to argue logic and common sense) were approached by a creature of superior intelligence from the studio audience of “The View,” and didn’t even notice.  All suffered severe palp scrapes and abrasions. No beak bites were reported. Film at 11.

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It’s intuitively obvious to the casual observer that this stuff really works. Just one drop and you’re free from you-know-what. I don’t need it, but I bet YOU do…

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And if the Magic CephaloDrops don’t work, RIDE ‘EM! The danger is you gotta break ’em first. Teach ’em to stay on the track.

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Mr. Bittman has absolutely no respect for the sentient.  He’s just asking for a double-palp smackdown, right square in his crackerbockles.

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Ignore the misspelling and the erroneous apostrophe, and the fact that a large octopus could easily kick a moray eel’s ass. It’s still a cool sketch.

[Lots more VERY COOL cephalopodia HERE. Related posts here, here and here. Oh, yeah, and here.]

Worse than Dog Breath

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Although there are two cats around here that Bunk denies ownership of, other members of the Family Strutts claim to know about catbreath. (Word is it’s nasty. I’ll stay with the possums… at least they don’t climb up on my lap, stare at my chin stubble, and say, “H-h-h-howdy.”)

[Image from Ms. Cellanea.]

Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat!

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The chicks’ll dig you when you “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”

You’ll also notice that the Cap’n is not paying attention, and that it’s obvious that the sailbabe wants you… as soon as you can show her that you, too, can “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”

Just beware… due to global warming, the fish population has dropped dramatically, and you’ll have to contend with diminutive seabats buzzing around your ears, regardless of whether or not you can “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”

[Excellent image and quote from 1933, a mere five years before the warmest year on record, via Plan59.  More Babe Magnetism here.]

Saturday Matinee: One Domino Trashes a Town, and unrelated stuff

According to Arbroath, this was Guiness’ most expensive television advertisement to date, costing 10m pounds (about $2.1 million US bucks). Filmed in a village in Argentina, the whole town came out to watch. If our crack webminers can find a link to a “making of” video, we’ll update this post, but it’s more likely we’ll just tip a stout and be done with it.

Totally unrelated to the video above, our crack webminers turned up a video from 1970, from the Flip Wilson Show. This broadcast changed my life… or at least a good part of it.

The band appeared at Woodstock. Yes, that Woodstock, 1969. These guys played alongside Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Crosby Stills & Nash, Mountain, Arlo Guthrie, Country Joe & the Finch, Richie Havens, Carlos Santana, Joni Mitchell, Melanie, Joan B. Depressed, Bobby Bieber and the SlimJims, Brittney Spears, etc.

Bunk was too young to attend Woodstock, but Bunk was allowed to watch TV. This is what Bunky witnessed at his grandparents house and loved it. ShaNaNa was IT.

This was Bunk’s introduction to DooWop. ShaNaNa sent me on a mission to hear the original versions by the Marcels, the Paragons, Dion, Gene Chandler, the Isley Brothers, the Zodiacs, the Del-Vikings, the Chips, the Chords, the Channels, Harvey & the Moonglows, Shep and the Limelights, the Ronnettes, the Shirelles, Leon Redbone, Led Zeppelin, Dread Zeppelin, Bob Marley and the Wailers, the Police, the Ramones, Elvis Costello, Tom Waits, the Sensational Alex Harvey Band, the Stray Cats, Frank Zappa, the Aquabats, the Skatalites, Moms Mabley and the Beat Farmers (featuring the late Country Dick Montana)… and not necessarily in that order. Oh, and I forgot the Solid Voidz featuring Big Don P.

Fill in the band(s) I might have missed in the comments section.

Here’s Where We Left Off…

From Yesterday’s episode:

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“‘How do I do it?’ I get the kids to do it. They made the mess in the first place. Get up off the floor, honey, and bring me a beer.”

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“Thanks, Hon! I thought we were out!”

“No, dear. Don and Betty just arrived and they brought refreshments.”

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“Well look who else showed up! It’s Olivia and Harry!”

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“What did Harry bring, dear?”

“Uh, a bottle opener… with soda. Did you tell the kids to clean the bathroom?”

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“I thought Rick and Bob were coming.”

“They’re out by the community pool, discussing very important issues of the day, and dinosaurs. They should be here soon.”

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“Don’t worry about them, Dave! We gotcha covered! What’s that racket?!”

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“It’s Brenda from the next trailer over. Let her play it a couple of times, tell her how much you like it, and she’ll stop.”

“Brenda! Is that you? How are you! I need to replace the needle on the phonograph so it doesn’t damage your record. Meanwhile, have a beer!”

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“Honey, where are the kids?”

“Cleaning the bathroom, dear, like you asked.”

[Apparently, Ted and Sally found Mommy’s anti-stress medicine and were out for the rest of the evening.]

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“Hey everybody! Supper’s almost ready, but I forgot to fillet the fish! Let’s have another round!”

“Harry, you’re such a spaz.”

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“Nothing like fish with a good ale I always say.”

“Aw, B.S. Dave. You never say that. Where’s Rick?”

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“Right behind you, John! How ’bout a little after-dinner apertif? Where’s Dan? He was supposed to have dessert ready by now.”

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“Dan? Oh Da-a-an! Where’d he wander off to this time?…”

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[Epilogue: At 7:43 pm, a fist fight erupted over the ruined dessert. 8:25pm the camera crew from COPS arrived. By 9:06pm police had shut down the party, and incarcerated the residents of the entire trailer park, excepting, of course, Ted and Sally who were still navigating multiple dimensions of existence and couldn’t be detected readily.

Everyone lived happily ever after, even though they never spoke to one another again.]

All illustrations above are from the excellent archives of Plan59.