Danger, danger, danger

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WEEKENDER is one of my favorite Sunday newspaper glossy parchment inserts, complete with advertisements for gaudy porcelain figurines of unicorns and mermaids with dolphins, Elvis commemorative plates, weight loss testimonials, uncirculated overpriced coins, specious gossip about famous people that I don’t know and don’t care about. It usually has articles on high blood pressure, prostate cancer, senility and mammograms to give you something to discuss with your family over breakfast.

I lost my original copy of this November 2006 issue, but itch one of the best, in this Bunk’s opinion.

[From the Onion archives.]

Saturday Matinee: Peaches En Regalia

Bunk loves this song, especially THIS version of this song. Looks like SNL footage of Frank Zappa’s 1976 entourage.

[If it doesn’t play, try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwQogHWkWck%5D

Zappa’s line up back then was amazing. Might be Jean Luc-Ponty on the invisible violin; Terry Bozzio on drums; Ruth Underwood on xylophone; maybe Roy Estrada on bass. Zoot Allures era.

Any FZ fans wanna leave comments to clear this up?

Zappa was only on SNL once, and was banned for mugging too much in the skits. You can find the two other SNL/Zappa vids on the Utubage if you hunt for ’em.

“…they’re pretty good musicians, and the musicians are pretty good…”— FZ, from “Green Rosetta.” Make a muffin really betta.

[UPDATE: Something yanked the link to the video originally posted. Here’s the same video from a different source. –Bunk]

[UPDATE 2: Seems that anything posted from SNL is now verboten. I’ve added a new version of my favorite Peaches. Slightly lesser quality video, but let’s see how long this one lasts. –Bunk]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 8

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Quick! Where’s the Monster?

[Greetings GrowaBrain Readers.  Feel free to, well, um, you know.]

China Denies Reverse Engineering Mice

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呼和浩特 (從Strutts通訊社滑稽的荒唐) –

hu先生否認中國是違反版權法通過拆卸老鼠。
「沒有法律版權在老鼠設計! 我們的所有是拆卸我們捉住的那个,創造一個較不昂貴的方式做他們,放回他們一起,并且他們是,像新一樣。 然後我們賣他們到美國,美國人吃他們。「

[Photographic evidence provided by Sourfizz. English to Traditional Chinese translator may be found here. The re-translation back to English is close enough for Bunk. Bite the wax tadpole.]

UPDATE: Although the post preview displayed actual chinese characters, WordPress changed them to question marks in the final post. Here is the re-translation from Traditional Chinese to English:

Huhhot (from the Strutts news agency funny absurd) –

Mr. hu denies China is violates the copyright law through the disassemblage mouse.
“Does not have the legal copyright in the mouse design! We all are that which disassembles us to seize, creates a not expensive way to be them, returns them together, and they are, new is likely same. Then we sell them to arrive US, the American eat them.”

How can you argue with that?

Hot Wheels: Babe Maggot No.2

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I meant “Babe Magnet.” Or maybe I didn’t. Note that the dead cat, Boone’s Farm bottle and the week-old wad of used Pampers all add nuance to artistic expression of the moment. Note also that the windows are rolled up.

But here’s the genius inherent in this work of Art: It compels the viewer to imagine what it smells like inside and to run away without ever knowing. A piece of artistic genius.

[Photo found amid foodstuffs at Bockety.  More Babe Magnetism here.]

Is this a Great Country or What?

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No other country in the world has Elvis impersonators on mini-bikes. (Take that, Ma’am Odd Imadinnerjacket.)

[Photo, made in USA, can be found here.]

Here’s to Your Nulls, and more…

Since this is SNTC Anniversary month, we offer this tribute.

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Okay. Assume you’re a male bee and… oh nevermind. The allegory doesn’t work with conchs. Let’s move on.

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This configuration is designed for a two-person study group. The checkerboard has been removed for clarity.

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Note the absence of TP. Note the presence of the sponge on a stick. Note that the sponge on a stick is not for cleaning the chamber pot. Note that the chain flushes nothing, but rings a chime.

Note that this is how very important people did it, and be glad that you didn’t have to answer the bell.

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Nice western adaptation for the Turkish Toilet. (Bomb sights have since been added to this model. Roll up your trousers and keep your boots on.)

Thanx a load to b.b., jynx, Geezer & Donk for bringing all this to my attention.

[Photos via Toilets from Around the World (some NSFW/kids)]

Herd of Indricotheria Captured

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Cerro Gordo, California (Strutts News Services)

Long believed to be extinct, a small herd of female Indricotheria was discovered Thursday by two amateur Porphyrophobic scientists at a local watering hole.

Ms. Tooncie Crumbler of the Cerro Gordo Oceanic Institute described the find as “…something so incredibly awesome! We saw them in their natural habitat before we corralled them. They were so docile.”

“They had the distinct odor of unglazed, unfired pottery, and showed pink scars where they had been injured from fighting for dominance,” added Mr. Lannie Foosers, Ms. Crumbler’s assistant and mentor. “We found no males in the herd, but they must be around somewhere.”

The herd, eleven in all including one juvenile, was transported without incident to the Inyo County Fairgrounds, where they will be fed and sheltered until their rightful owners show up to claim them.

[Original photo source lost. Mrs. Strutts says it’s prolly behind the couch, mixed in with the cat stuff.]

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Welcome Growabrain readers. Feel free to crawl around here as much as you like. Fresh stuff daily.

[Related post here.]

Saturday Matinee: LEON!

The music of the late 1970’s was terrible. FM radiowaves were flooded with over-produced theater/stage rock (Yes, ELP, ELO); annoying pre-packaged disco (Chic, Bee Gees, Donna Summer); run-of-the-mill commercial rock (Bob Seeger, the Eagles, Lynyrd Skynyrd); and New Wave/Punk (Talking Heads, Elvis Costello, the Ramones).

Okay, I’m not denying that I liked that last category. At least it was different.

But right in the middle of all this garbage was the shining star known as Leon Redbone. He came out of nowhere, playing acoustic guitar versions of 1920’s and ’30’s songs while remaining a mystery to his fans. (Some wags speculated that he was really Frank Zappa, undercover.) When I heard Mr. Redbone’s version of “Sheik of Araby” I was hooked.

Here’s Mr. Redbone with three songs, back-to-back, from about 1977.

Mr. Redbone, you are invited to Bunk’s house for mint juleps and peach cobbler any time.

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 7

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Alfred Hitchcock deleted this first take of “the shower scene” from his masterpiece “PSYCHO.” Why? I dunno, Babs, but I do know this. Hitchcock almost always had a cameo role in his movies. In this scene, his makeup was amazing.