Author: Bunk Strutts

Boogah Boogah.

The .Gif Friday Post No. 37 – Cleaning the Attic

Bunk Has Left the Building – (temporarily)

[Image from here via GrowABrain.]

Folks–

I’ve been summoned for duty in the destitution and abject horror of the warzone known as the City of Cincinnati.

In my absence, I’ve put Marshal Finicky Penguin in charge of this website, to post and monitor your kind comments, until my glorious return on Sunday, 6 July 2008.

Marshal Penguin is a good guy, if not a little odd, but I ask that you treat him with the same lack of respect that you would treat me. He was kind enough to deputize me to blogsit his website recently (Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Soda).

Although I kinda sorta left his website in slight disarray, it was still intact when he returned, so I’m returning the favor with my fingers crossed. I’ve pre-posted a few things, and left him some draft posts to play with. I trust the Marshal as if he were my own ugly stepchild.

Here’s a very cool video via Arbroath to hold y’all through the transition. See y’all on the 6th. I’m outta here.

Bunk

P.S. Here are the keys, Marshal. Don’t lend ’em out.

Kirk vs. T vs. Norris: Battle of the Titans (Part 3)

Chuck. You don’t even have to say his last name before he roundhouse kicks you for even thinking that he might be not be invincible. Chuck vs. Jim vs. Mr. is an awesome conundrum, mainly because all three are good guys who wouldn’t be pounding each other down for the count. They’d join forces and pound ME down for even suggesting such an absurdity. They would, but they won’t. They’re good guys, just like me.

IF there was a three-way match up between Captain Kirk, Mr. T, and Chuck Norris, CN has a definite edge.

Firstly, he’s got all THE FACTS on his side. THE FACTS are a formidable weapon by themselves, and basically negate any argument regarding the possibility of Norris being somewhat inferior to Kirk and T.

Secondly, he’s still got all THE FACTS. No argument.

Thirdly, all THE FACTS are true.

Looks to me like Chuck Norris wins the tournament, as he’s standing right behind me as I post thIN NO WAY COULD CAPTAIN KIRK OR MR. T BEAT ME EITHER INDIVIDUALLY OR IN A TWO-ON-ONE MATCH SIGNED CHUCK NORRIS. TYPE IT AND POST IT. NOW. GET AWAY FROM YOUR KEYBOARD. I’LL HIT SEND.

[Related posts here and here. Related archive here.]

Kirk vs. T vs. Norris: Battle of the Titans (Part 2)

Mr. T., heh. There’s no one quite like the T-man, but that’s not what this post is about. It’s about whether or not he could take out Captain Kirk and Chuck Norris. Tough assignment, to be sure.

T’s strong points:

He don’ take no jibba-jabba from no foo. Kirk takes jibba-jabba from foos, and so does Norris. No one really knows what Mr. T does with that jibba-jabba, and since he don’t take none, my guess is he be give it back right away.

Secondly, he’s got little South Vietnamese flags stitched into his denim vest thingy. Neither Jim nor Chuck could pull that off without embarrassing criticism.

3rd advantage: Mr. T has more merchandise on the market than Kirk and Norris combined. (To keep this a fair competirion, generic “Star Trek” stuff doesn’t count. Has to be Captain Kirk paraphernalia.) There is so much T stuff that I can’t name them all, as they include cartoons, “T” shirts, posters, metal lunch boxes, crayons, cookie jars, bathtub toys, breakfast cereal, toothpaste, socks, underwear, baby spoons, floor wax and snow tires.

Yeah, I know he can punch sharks, but so could Fonzi. Cheez.

Strong suit: Well, HE IS MR. T. He’s got serious in-your-face attitude, and could conceivably turn it up to 11 when facing Kirk or Norris, and get them to back down without throwing a punch.

Mr. T is clearly the winner in the merchandise category. He’s got the wire brush mohawk going for him, and he’s got the foos (Kirk and Norris) seriously pitied.

Because of these strong points, Mr. T is a top-notch candidate for the Big ‘Ol Gold Belt.

[Related posts here and here. Related archive here. Coming up tomorrow: Chuck Norris.]

Kirk vs. T vs. Norris: Battle of the Titans (Part 1)

Let’s start with Captain James Tiberius Kirk and his dilithium-powered toilet plunger with crystalline scrubbing bubbles.

He wasn’t even born when Chuck Norris and Mr. T came along, so there’s a definite age-gap. If Chuck and Mr. really wanted to take him out, they’d have to chase down and crank on Kirk’s present-time direct lineage ancestors. Of course, maybe just taking out a few of Kirk’s ancestors would be enough, and Captain James T. Kirk’s pedigree would be sufficiently damaged to make him a non-combatant by default.

But Kirk has one great advantage: worm holes. He can travel back in time and kick anyone’s butt if he really wanted to. He could conceivably find Norris and T while they were still in grade school, beam them up and drop them off with Flash Basbo on the Planet of the Mind Gobblers. Honestly, I don’t believe Kirk could pull it off. He’s got more integrity than to do something that despicable.

Even if he could, he wouldn’t do it on his own… at least three more have to beam down with him. The guy with the red shirt is gonna eat it (whereupon Dr. McCoy, aka Captain Obvious, will declare “He’s dead, Jim”). The other two are regulars who might be injured, but will eventually be beamed up with the rest of the party and the cadaver’s remains if any.

Armed with his signature “Drop ‘n Roll” all-purpose defensive move, Captain Kirk is definitely a strong contender.

[Image from here. Related posts here and here, and we’ve got a related archive here. Coming up tomorrow: Mr. T.]

Saturday Matinee – SpinCycle, Howlin’ Wolf, Howlin’ Lou,Henry Mancini & Roy Buchanon

[Found at Arbroath.]

 

Twilight Zone-ish.

 

Interesting documentary… Interviews of some of the patrons of the “Spin Cycle” laundromat somewhere in St. Paul, Minnesota.

 

Oh, yeah. “Ya ya ya aya…” Gotta post some music. Do not mock those who try. [Also found at Arbroath.]

Howlin’ Wolf’s classic “Smokestack Lightning.”

[UPDATE: The bass player in this clip is Willie Dixon. THE Willie Dixon. Sorry I missed giving him credit. Dixon wrote a number of songs that later became rock standards. He recorded some albums himself, and didn’t stutter when he sang. More after the break below.]

“Theme to Peter Gunn.” Here’s Henry Mancini’s live version, introduced by Steve Allen. (The horn section rocks, whether you like it or not.)

Last Post on THIS Spin Cycle: The Late Great Roy Buchanan‘s explosive take on Mancini’s “Theme to Peter Gunn.” (This one’s for all you Aussies – Thanks for the hula-hoops, mates!)

Continue reading “Saturday Matinee – SpinCycle, Howlin’ Wolf, Howlin’ Lou,Henry Mancini & Roy Buchanon”

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 36 – Psych Clones

The Fergusen Decatuplets, hogging the slide.

Looks like Superman is showing off again in his Superskivvies with filthy Superfeet, while the ghost of Charlie Chaplin hovers at the window.  Some things even I can’t explain.

Blow it out your Bounce House

“Daddy! Daddy! Were you watching?! I’m a Bunny Poop! Watch me! Watch me, Daddy! I’m gonna be a BIG Bunny Poop! Watch me!”

[Lost the image source after I lost my lunch.]

[Strutts News Services update– Mozilla has recorded over 10 million downloads of FireFox 3.0 in their attempt to break the Guinness World Record of most downloads within a 24 hour period. Lookee here.]

Feral Wombat Avoids Capture After Emerging From the Sub-Cutaneous Protocranial Region of Amy Winehouse’s Head

Pendlemont Turnstile East, England (Strutts News Services)

In an unprecedented feat of unnatural chamomile and a verified act of a genuine changeling, singer Amy Winehouse successfully produced a live wombat from her head, with neither provocation nor warning Thursday, in front of three of her four close friends (two of which didn’t show).

Due to years of self-inflicted mental and physical abuse, Ms. Winehouse came forward and admitted to Senior Reporter Bonnie Phumph (Strutts News Services) that she had indeed succeeded in her ongoing mind-altering experiments.

“It’s only natural that I should produce apparitions like this. I see them all the time, and it’s about time you did, too,” stated the formerly attractive Ms. W.

The unusually coloured black wombat emerged, scratched itself a bit, and wandered off into the hinterlands of the internest; Ms. Winehouse quietly followed and retired for a three-day nap prior to wandering off herself.

[Original undoctored image from here. Related post here.]

All-American Lunch Ladies: Sandwiches, Pastries, Pastries, Chips, Chips, Chips

Back Row: Jennie, Heide, Mary, Jean, Antoinette, Billy, Betty, Virginia, Charlotte, Wilma, Henrietta.
Front Row: Joyce, Ruth, Fay, Connie, and Doris.

These fine women kept the lovely Mrs. Strutts from starving to death in High School. I am forever in their debt.

[Related Lunch Lady post here. Don’t forget the Chips.]