Category: Awards

2010 in review (according to WordPress)

This was sent to us by the wonderful folks at WordPress who provide us with a free platform to spread our flavor of fun. This is blogwhoring at its best, especially because it’s done by someone else.
[Whoa. Something ain’t right here: “The busiest day of the year was June 28th with 4 views.” Bigass FAIL there, WP! 2,081 is a tad closer!]

Check it out:

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The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 240,000 times in 2010. If it were an exhibit at The Louvre Museum, it would take 10 days for that many people to see it.

In 2010, there were 395 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 1443 posts. There were 794 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 314mb. That’s about 2 pictures per day.

The busiest day of the year was June 28th with 4 views. The most popular post that day was The .Gif Friday Post No. 129 – Compound Pendulum, Nematode, Catslide.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were stumbleupon.com, en.wordpress.com, mentalfloss.com, ogdaa.blogspot.com, and nodwick.humor.gamespy.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for ferret, motivational poster, science fair projects, gif animation, and steampunk.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

The .Gif Friday Post No. 129 – Compound Pendulum, Nematode, Catslide May 2010
11 comments

2

Amy’s Motivational Poster Collection June 2009
7 comments

3

LOL FERRET: Episode 1 November 2007
24 comments

4

Giant Woolly Bear Caterpillar Discovered Near Las Cruces, NM, Predicts Global Warming for Decades to Come December 2007
82 comments

5

How to REALLY piss off a golden retriever January 2010
4 comments

10/10/10 10:10:10

You missed it, didn’t you?

For this Auspicious Occasion, it was our intention to announce the Wiener of the Poll. We can’t… there is a tie. Planetross and Wheels each garnered exactly 21.43% of the vote. (You can view the entries and poll results here.) So to be fair, we’ve gotta have a runoff poll.

Voting is open for one week only, and the clock is ticking, so Wheels & Planetross, rally your troops.

And for the folks who are sponsoring this Competition, here’s another plug:

You can find millions of personalized gifts, hooded sweatshirts and 2011 wall calendars at CafePress – for any topic, interest or brand!

Saturday Matinee – Big Mama Thornton, The Doors, John Lee Hooker & JLH jr.

Big Mama Thornton blows harp, and now it’s got scars, too.

Now I don’t generally like mashups, but this one is kinda cool, mixing John Lee Hooker with the Doors, cranking “Road House Blues.” (Nixing Jim Morrison’s vocals would have been better though, but that’s just my opinion.)

Here’s John Lee Hooker from 1980’s Montreal Jazz Festival with “Roll Me Like You Roll A Wagon Wheel.” Pure boogie.

John Lee Hooker Jr. has been performing for a while, also, but only as a frontman.  This is about the best I could come up with on short notice.

[Whoop! I almost forgot! We’re gonna announce the Contest Wiener tomorrow, so be back here for the confetti and horns, and bring your own water balloons!]

The Entries Are In! Vote Now!

After sifting through hundreds of entries, here are the Finalists as chosen by our crack team of webminers. Now all you gotta do is vote for your favorite joke, and next weekend we’ll award Le Prix de Impressionnant.

Finalists’ entries are below the poll.

Here are the entries in the order received:

B.C.
Obama.

Dan
This one’s my original:
If you know what brand of beer your dog prefers, you might be a redneck.

Tattoo Jim
This is one my grand-dad used to say:
Just keep smiling… it makes everybody wonder what you’ve been up to.

amy
yellow

phil cordery
one of my father’s on other people’s driving habits
“You couldn’t drive a greasy stick up a dead dogs arse”

Chuck Gibbs, RN
I think it was Baxter Black who published a list of cowboy wisdom ‘don’t’s which included:

“Don’t fry bacon in the nude.”
“Don’t squat with your spurs on.”
and my personal favorite:
“Don’t drink downstream from the herd.”

Sexual harrassment accusation – “He explored more bottom than Jacque Cousteau.”

Of course, the difference between naked and nekkid always made me laugh. Naked you don’t have clothes on, nekkid you don’t have clothes on and are up to something.

Point to ponder – If space travelers made it to Earth, indicating a technology gap (like throwing rocks compared to nuclear weapons), why would they need big honkin’ navigation lights on their terrestrial exploration vehicles? What could they not avoid or, better yet, what could even remotely come close to hittin’ them?

Saw a interweb post recently ranting about a lady shopper racin’ through the local store where the blogger shopped, almost causing cart-related accidents hither and yon. She wrote of wanting to shout at the reckless women something to the effect of “Slow down ! You’re not shopping for jack rabbits (although that would be way cool) !”

wheels
I had a custom button made once that read, “If you can’t get your work done in a 24-hour day, work nights.”
I’m also fond of last year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival winner: “Hedgehogs. Why can’t they just share the hedge?”

Alessandra
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

planetross
“Raisins are inbred.”

Dog Studies

The book Bowser’s boning up on? Cruft’s Working & Pastoral. Big test coming up in March 2011. Woof.

[Image found here.]

Kudos to Stephan Pastis.

“Pearls Before Swine” is a comic strip written and illustrated by Stephen Pastis. It first caught my attention in the Orange County Register Sunday Funnies, with a hilarious logo showing the main characters, Pig, Rat, Zebra and Goat as the Ramones. I’ve been following it ever since.

IMO, it’s not laugh out loud stuff (sorry Stephan) but some of it is very clever. When the strip began foundering, Pastis introduced a new group of characters to the mix: crocodiles.

The bumbling crocs speak in broken English, and spend all their time trying to dupe the smarter Zebra into letting them eat him. Pastis was way too subtle for me, until I spotted a not-so-subtle commentary in Pastis’ new storyline:

I don’t think I need to point out the symbolism here. On Monday 7 June 2010, Pastis continues:

Pastis deserves commendations for his subterfuge. Now, Stephen, about that elephant…

Snake Calculation

I never take a challenge sitting down, so when Steamboat McGoo spotted a black racer on his chimney and asked for estimates on its length, how could I refuse?  After all, my ancestors specialized in reptilian length prognostication.

S. McGoo rewarded me with the honor of posting my snake calculations DIRECTLY UNDER HIS BANNER HEADER. (Click on the image unadulterated big to make it.)

Such an honor bestowed requires reciprocity, so I’ve added Aaardvarks & Asshats to our glorious blogroll. You goo, McGo!

NOOOOO

… so I guess we’ll never know.

[Top image found in here.]

500,000!

Shortly after 1AM this morning, PST,  Tacky Raccoons received our 500,000th visitor with open arms, confetti, little cheap plastic tooty horns, whatever was left in the fridge, and the promise of complete anonymity. Thanks, Mystery Vistor!

1,001 POSTS! Good God Give the Drummer Some!

I wanna thank y’all for coming here tonight. Be sure to tip the waitresses.