Category: Bizarre

Babe Magnet: Blew Flamer

Been a while since we had a good Babe Magnet post, and I’d completely forgotten about this one (forwarded by the lovely and talented Jen of Casual Slack several months ago).

What can we possibly say about this excellent example of Babe Magnetage that isn’t intuitively obvious to the casual observer?  More than you might think.

If I’m not mistaken, this Vehicle of Vapidity is a 1989 Nissan 4-dork that was originally silver, until Bonnie Phumph’s little brother Dirk took over the ride when Bonnie left for animal husbandry school in Middlevale last year.   Dirk went on a yellow spray paint rampage.

Puke Yellow Bile is not an attractive color for any Japanese import, so Dirk took it a step further with the LameFlame job.  But of course, just like any proud owner of a newly created Babe Magnet, he couldn’t stop there.  Nope.  He used the rest of the blue dork-spray paint to stencil “Dirk is King,”  “Dirk Rules” and  “Dirk Rocks” in Tolkien runes on the door panels just underneath the windows.

But he didn’t stop there either.  Enter a poor rendition of Marvin the Martian on the left rear quarter panel.  This work o fart just screams “Dirk is a complete moron!”  And just so anyone missed the message, Dork managed to knock off his rearview mirror in the Dairy Queen drive-thru and repaired it with, yep, you guessed it, duct tape.

Pure efficient genius.

[A truly amazing compilation of Babe Magnets may be found HERE.]

Humor-Blogs.com

Bride of Hot Links

The Undramatic Chipmunk found via cnet.

Lotsa odd facial hair here.

Build you own virtual star and watch it grow old.

Unintentional Goatse proves that there is indeed a website for everyone.

How to confuse an idiot: here (from Phil’s Phun).

Websperiments.

Try out the Uglifier. On yourself.

Winter in Russia.

The first ButtBerry Award, here.

How to deliberately create an unsuccessful blog, by Slippy.

Always dry, always excellent:  Futility Closet.

Ditto Hanuman. I don’t know where he finds these gems.

Garfield-Garfield from SNTC.

Speaking of lame comic strips:  Marmaduke Explained shows us all where we missed the humor.

And finally, here’s the correct response to every New Yorker Magazine caption contest.

TGIF: The .GIF Friday Post 39 – Dead Cow Walking

18 JULY BONUS: The Girl Who Never Closes Her Mouth

[Both images from here.]

First Known Earth Fart Discovered (and Ignited); Gas Burns for Decades


DARVAZ’ HELLFIRE
Soviets found an earth fart and lit it.
Uzbekistan, Ukraine – (Strutts News Services)

According to various reports, a massive gas vent was discovered and subsequently ignited in 1973 by Soviet geologists in search of other stuff.  Some sources indicate that the global flatulence may have been ignited earlier than was initially reported.  From the amazing website English Russian:

“This place in Uzbekistan is called by locals “The Door to Hell”. It is situated near the small town of Darvaz. The story of this place lasts already for 35 years. Once the geologists were drilling for gas. Then suddenly during the drilling they have found an underground cavern, it was so big that all the drilling site with all the equipment and camps got deep deep under the ground. None dared to go down there because the cavern was filled with gas. So they ignited it so that no poisonous gas could come out of the hole, and since then, it’s burning, already for 35 years without any pause. Nobody knows how many tons of excellent gas has been burned for all those years but it just seems to be infinite there.”

Local immigrant resident Joey “Boris” Catawba summed it up.  “I’ve lived here for almost 10 years.  Everything always smells like burnt cheese and vinegar.  Someone should do something.  This really sucks.”

[More images here.]

Holy SkyGator, Batman!

Don’t move or look him in the eyes and he won’t see you.  Cue the Theme, then duck and cover.  Meet y’all back under the cypress roots. Good luck.

[Image from Bits & Pieces.]

EVABODY SAY “AARRRRGGGHHH!!”

Apparently, there’s a Russian holiday, where veterans of the Frontier Guard (looks to me to be about a dozen of ’em) get to cavort in fountains and drink lots and lots of vodka. Like this guy:

“ARE—YOU—READY—–TO RHUMBA?!”

No doubt about it. Russkies know how to party. AARRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!

[More images of the festivities here, via here.]

Blackening the Bride

This is one way to blacken a bride. Atypical Events collected some odd wedding customs from around the world, and describes “blackening the bride” as:

“In the Scottish pre-wedding tradition of “Blackening the Bride,” The bride is taken by surprise and covered with foul substances, such as eggs, various sauces, feathers, and well you name it…

“The bride to be, officially blackened, is then paraded around town, and of course a few pubs, for all to see.”

I like the picture better without the description.

Saturday Matinee: Ukeleles, Hair & Drums

Jake Shimabukuro makes his Uke Weep. Amazing.

Kaje. Nice hat. Nice Uke.

Nice animation.  Nice Uke.

Nice hair, no Ukes, but wait ’til you see their cantalopes. (Found it on this guy‘s website. The B-52’s are always cool.)

Not sure where these folks are from, but I’d love to hear ’em play this:

Todd Rundgren’s ska more than makes up for last week’s lack of Saturday Matinee offerings.  (Here’s Bad Manners’ take on “Bang the Drum All Day.” Unfortunately, no video, but Linerider rocks out here.)

[Image of headbangers via email from Grampa Strutts. More Ukelele here.]

Japanese Girl Rubber Mute

She looks like a fun girl who needs a big ‘ol honkin’ conch shell instead.  When used properly, it spits out blue three-leafed clovers.

(While you ponder that, check this out.   Capitol Records has squelched embedding classic videos like this one:

Music by the Marvelows.  Interpreted by Peter Wolf & the J. Geils Band.  Previously posted and squelched.

[Image via RGS.]