Want to shop here but lost your license? Get your Superhero Certification reinstated via Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co. online.
[More info and photos here. Related posts here.]
Category: Bizarre
Tweety Bird Dead at 67
Palm Springs, California (Strutts News Services) – Long admired yet not forgotten, Robert “Tweety Bird” Balderstien passed away at the age of 67 at his ranch home in Palm Desert, Southern California.
Robert Svenson Balderstien, hatched in 1942 in Suffolk, Massachusetts, by immigrant parents, adapted to the stage early, despite his hydrocephelitic condition. Contrary to popular belief, his medical condition did not cause his speech impediment, and for years he battled the stereotype.
Balderstien also rejected the contention that he was female, and fought the resulting insinuations and innuendos all his life before retiring in seclusion in Palm Desert, California.
“I never said, ‘I tawt I taw a puddy tat.’ I have perfect enunciation, but Warner Brothers chose to overdub my voice, and I was stuck with it ever since.”
Longtime friend and companion, Sylvester The Cat, also of Palm Desert, gave a touching eulogy that ended with, “Yeah. I’ll mith him the motht. He alwayth thought he thaw me, and motht timeth he motht thertainly did.”
Mr. Hand, Mrs. Arse, Mrs. Knee, Mr. Foot
U.S. Senators crack me up. Thank god they’re in office so that we don’t have to think for ourselves. Betcha can’t name the four in the photo. Betcha can’t.
[Found here.]
Easter Bunny knows.
Another Great Gift Idea- Gummy Haggis
The Calvinball Sports Complex
Hobbesville, North Carolina (Strutts News Services) – The importance of the coin toss increases a googlefold in the Calvinball Arena, but is negated by the hydraulics that control the field allowing line judges to place competing bets while manipulating field conditions, including windstorms and artificial rain. All players may or may not be line judges, and there may be as many line judges as players, including none. Every player is a referee and may interpret any other referee’s call while placing bets with the line judges. Video review is frequently used for re-interpretation of The Rules without stopping play.
For more on Calvinball, Mentalfloss has a pretty good description with links.
[Image from here.]
When I was a boy…
It’s got a zip code, ergo post 1963.
[Undoctored image found here.]
[Kinda Related Story: If you don’t believe this, you can verify it for yourself. In the google box, type in google trends. When the new box opens, type in Chuck Norris, boobs.
Also, except for understandable spikes in early November 2008 and late January 2009, The Little Mermaid consistently kicks Obama‘s ass. Analyze the data as you see fit.]
The .gif Friday Post No. 74 – DANCE HARD
New Age Hair
Occasionally our esteemed web miners at Tacky Raccoons run short of post ideas due to prior commitments and responsibilities (like, um, well, other important stuff.) When we run out of unique post images or topics, we resort to a simple parlor trick: Google an image of a random word, see what pops up, and exploit it for pennies on the dollar. (You wanna see LEDs on sheep? You won’t find it here. We don’t play the viral game.)
Today we’re talking new age hair.*
As we age, our bodies change in ways we only laughed about in grade school. A few long eyebrow hairs are kinda cool, but ear hair is not. Nor is the onslaught of middle age nose hair. I have all three.
Fortunately, modern technology provides the answer for two-thirds of them, and the vacuum abhorred by nature is filled by this wonderful creation:
Be forewarned that if you use this appliance for ear hair, it will change your eye color as well as the color and pattern of your shirt.
For sale here at the low price of $5.99 (unfortunately no used ones are listed.) Get one for each nostril for only $11.98 plus snipping and handling. An optional stainless steel flail attachment is available to grind out the crusties.
Not for use as a unowot, regardless of crusties.
[Image found here. Nose Hair Opinion Poll results here.] Continue reading “New Age Hair”
Little Miss Sasquatch: Polish and Spit
“Now… with my face tripping me, I trundle and stravaig wearily behind Mrs Bastard, and Mrs Bastard’s mammy. My houghs are aching, my arms fair pulled out of their oxter’s, carrying shopping bags the equivalent in weight of a Volkswagen under each arm. My mooth being drier than the watering holes of the Sudan. My bank balance lighter than a ballerinas fart, I am continuing to rue my words woefully.”
I’ve got little idea of what Jimmy Bastard is ranting about, but anyone who uses a phrase as delicate as “lighter than a ballerina’s fart” is okay by me. It’s somehow connected with this picture:
There’s also gotta be a pun in there somewhere. Have at it.
[Image and quote from here. He warned me, too.]
