He’s already mad that he was punished for giving the cat a peanut butter facial, and now he’s upping the ante. Just primal human nature to take a bad situation and make it worse… kinda like the current administration. [Image found in here.]
Category: Douche Baggage
Suggested by John M. and approved by the Tacky Raccoons Board of Directors.
The .Gif Friday Post No. 137 – Soccer Mom, Mascot Fail, Eggtrap
The .Gif Friday Post No. 137 – Origami Man, Cannonball Carom, Jaws
Pancake Makeup
The .Gif Friday Post No.135 – Easily Amused
Brilliant Marketing Ploy
Fortunately for you there is NO video evidence on the Utoobage to redeem these musical wonders, so we can only guess what they sounded like, and it’s a safe assumption that the t-shirt sales were as successful as their autographed debut album.
Now about their groupies… nope. Not even gonna go there.
[Image found here.]
Cease and Desist
Recently, Snork emailed me a .jpg image of the infamous Unicorn Meat (as shown below left). Here is the full advertisement from Think Geek:
The Unicorn Meat advert went semi-viral after it was posted on April Fools’ Day this year. But there’s an update to the innocent prank.
I’d never heard of the National Pork Board, but apparently they sniffed out a clear case of trademark infringement. On 5 May 2010, the international law firm of Faegre & Benson faxed the owners of the Think Geek website a 12-page letter, excerpted below.
“This law firm represents National Pork Board in connection with its intellectual property rights.
We are writing to you in connection with your activities at the website http://www.thinkgeek.com, wherein you have been marketing a product called “Radiant Farms Canned Unicorn Meat” using the slogan “Unicorn- the new white meat.”
See, NPB owns the trademark “The Other White Meat” in the U.S., Canada, and the European Union. Unfortunately their lawyers didn’t realize that Trademark Infringement does not extend to parodies, and that unicorns don’t really exist. [Full story here, via here, and crossposted here.]
Miss Aluminum Flex-i-Duct 1961
Wild Action in Strongsville
News from The Crossroads of the Nation, Strongsville, Ohio
The following items appeared in The Sun Star Courier on the 6 May 2010 police blotter. The Strongsville Police Department has been busy lately.
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ANIMAL COMPLAINT, DRAKE ROAD: Residents called police because they were trapped in their home by a temperamental squirrel.
The squirrel was desperate to get in the house, according to the residents. The squirrel kept jumping at the garage door and would run at the residents any time they opened a door.
ANIMAL COMPLAINT, SOUTHPARK CENTER: Several motorists called police on Sunday because a large turtle was blocking the entrance to the Westfield-SouthPark Shopping Center.
The turtle was taking a long time to cross the Howe Road entrance to the mall. The motorists were afraid the turtle would get hit by a car.
ANIMAL COMPLAINT, CHANDLER GREEN: A man reported Sunday that he was bit by a dog while walking in his neighborhood.
The man said he was bitten in the hip by a German shepherd-Labrador retriever mix, who was being walked by children.
MISCHIEF, COOK AVENUE: Someone plastered eggs and toilet paper all over Zellers Elementary School on Sunday night.
MISCHIEF, WEST 130th STREET: Motorists called police Saturday because a group of juveniles were jumping into traffic.
One of the boys was wearing a bear costume, according to the callers. The group was gone when police arrived.
DISTURBANCE, PEARL ROAD: Two Cleveland men and a Cleveland woman were advised Saturday for trying to load items from a dumpster behind the Honey Hut into their vehicle.
The group was confronted by police after several calls reported hearing screaming coming from the area. Officers found the group arguing over the best way to stuff a large freezer unit into their vehicle.
Officers made the trio put all the items back that they were trying to take.
MISSING JUVENILE, WHITNEY ROAD: Employees of Chestnut Lakes Apartments called police Friday after a 1-year-old girl wandered into the lobby.
The girl had gotten out of the apartment while her mother was in the bathroom. Her father had left the door open while he was going to get something from the car.
THEFT, DRAKE ROAD: Employees of SGL reported Friday that someone stole several items from their property.
Someone had stolen a few two-inch thick steel plates and other materials from the building. The items are valued at $3,000. Someone also dismantled a wooden crate to construct skateboard ramps on the property.
ANIMAL COMPLAINT, LENOX DRIVE: Strongsville police officers had their own version of the classic children’s story, “Make Way for the Ducklings” last Thursday. An officer helped a mother duck and her ducklings safely cross the intersection of Lenox Drive and Howe Road.
SUSPICIOUS SITUATION, DARICE PARKWAY: A woman reported last Thursday that she believes someone is maliciously spraying Nair or permanent solution in her hair while she is at work. She also believed that someone was spraying something in her car.
SHOPLIFTING, PEARL ROAD: Employees of Gordon Food Services reported April 27 that a Brooklyn man stole four boxes of steaks from the store. The man was gone when police arrived.
911 MISUSE, OLDE SURREY COURT: A Strongsville woman was advised April 26 for playing a prank on the Medina County Sheriff’s Department.
Medina dispatchers called the woman back after they received a hang-up call from her cell phone. The woman told dispatchers she and her friend called 911 because she was hungry.
The woman told Strongsville police the incident was a misunderstanding. She accidentally hit a button and did not realize that her phone dialed 911.
The woman thought the dispatchers return call was someone playing a trick on her.
BURGLARY, GEORGETOWN COURT: A resident reported April 26 that his neighbor entered his house without his permission. The neighbor took back a tool the resident had borrowed from him. The resident also accused the neighbor of stealing his drill.
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[News blurbs from The Sun Star Courier via Drudge. Image from here.]
DJ Scratchmo for Hire
DJ Scratchmo has a wide variety of music compiled on eleven 45rpm records for all your party needs. Well dressed and well mannered, reasonable rates. No website, no email, no cell phone, no way to contact him whatsoever.
[Found here.]
Tacky Raccoons 