Category: Humor

Senator Joe Biden Stares Down Dictators

Wilmington, Delaware (Strutts News Services) –  According to an amazing number of news sources, Joe Biden was nominated earlier today as Obama’s VP because he’s “stared down dictators”  according to Barack Obama.

I imagine he did it just like this guy, and dictators all over the world collectively lost control of their bowels and changed their governments to democratically elected representative republics.

The world is a safer place because of Senator Joe Biden.

[UPDATE:  Strutts News Services reports 19,500 hits for a google search of “Joe Biden stared down dictators.” Name one dictator that Biden “stared down” and the results of that stare down.  The world is waiting.]

[UPDATE 2: Here.]

[UPDATE 3:  Welcome Malkinites!]

Saturday Matinee: Sheep, Rutles, Spinal Tap & Paul Simon

Deep down, humans are basically herd animals; subconsciously we like to be part of a group. We all want to belong and to be accepted (no matter how bizarre the requirements for joining that group) as part of the herd.

This clip from Alan Funt’s Candid Camera shows this absurd detrimental human trait in action:

[Found at the always excellent Neatorama; Utoobage link here.]

Some of y’all prolly never heard of the Rutles, and for good reason.  The Beatles blatantly stole their style and wind throughout the 60’s and into and out of the 70’s.  All the girls in Bunk’s elementary school screamed whenever a picture of Stig was posted on the school restroom door.  Honest. [Utoobage link here.]

This is another great band you may have missed if you blinked.  Here’s Spinal Tap’s classic from 1967:  (Listen to the) Flower People. My sister had this 45 rpm (only one she had) and played it non-stop.  Gawd I hated these guys.

I remember the day I bought this album. It was a spring day, I had laundry to do and didn’t have any quarters, so I cashed in a bunch of albums and bought this, putting off the laundry for another week.

Although I had mixed feelings about the 1960’s Simon and Garfunkel thing, this was just Simon, and chicks digged him.  Anyone who can toss lyrics like “I can call you Betty” and “roly-poly little bat-face-girl” into the same pop song and get away with it amazed me.  It also has one of the greatest looped 3-second bass riffs I’ve ever heard.

It wasn’t until I saw this video that I realized just how tall Paul Simon really is. [Utoobage linkoid here.]

TGIF: The .Gif Friday Post No.43 – Levitation

Since last week’s .gif animation was so lame, here’s a bonus:

HOVERDOGS!

[Animations from here and here.]

Independence Day 2008 at Yankee Stadium

Maybe I’m easily amused, but this reeks of coolness. It’s a pan & zoom image of Yankee Stadium during the Yankees vs. Red Sox game of 4 July 2008.  Boston won 6-4 on a freak triple.

[See below for the linkoids.]

Here’s the wide angle, and I decided to zoom in.  The second thing I was looking for was a guy who probably drives a Babe Magnet:  Where’s Waldork?

Game is underway, 1st Inning.

An obnoxious jerk can be found anywhere, and I guessed that the cheap seats would be a good bet.

This section looked promising.  Completely arbitrary guess.

Getting closer!  Stadium usher in the aisle is eyeballing someone…

Ooh!  We have a candidate, and it’s not the waterbed in the back row or the wannabe in the front.

WOOP! DEY HE IS!

Rock out dude! Everyone should be playing air guitar at a Yankees game!  Or are you yelling at the umpire already, as if he can hear you from a half-mile away.  DUDE, it’s only the first inning.  Chill.

Don’t double-dose your meds again, dood. Everyone’s ignoring you (except for the usher,  the lady in the red tunic and the one in white southwest of you on the previous image). What Babe Magnet do you drive, bro?

[Link found at Grow-A-Brain. The Very Cool Hi-Def Zoom/Pan image of Yankee Stadium can be found here.]

[UPDATE:  HERE’S A BONAFIDE COMPETITION. FIRST ONE OF Y’ALL TO EMAIL BUNK A SCREEN SHOT (.jpg file only) OF THE GUY IN THIS STADIUM CROWD WHO’S POINTING DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA WINS A VERY COOL PRIZE IN 100% WORKING CONDITION, INCLUDING BATTERIES AND INSTRUCTIONS, IN ORIGINAL PACKAGING!]

[This Contest is on as long as CNN/SI keeps their site open, or until a winner is announced on THIS website.  If CNN closes its site, and no one has offered/emailed a winning .jpg image to Bunk Strutts at the contact address CLEARLY shown above, this contest is closed, null and void, and we’ll snivel out of awarding anyone anything.  By submitting a .jpg image, y’all agree that this is all in fun and stuff, and everything that that this statement means in a colloquial sense releases Bunk and his Crack Team of Webminers from any and all legal responsibility.  In other words, we won’t owe you a damn thing beyond what is promised and awarded via these described caveats, no matter what… just a damn thing that works, beeps when it’s supposed to, and requires batteries. The prize-winner pays the shipping costs and may or may not owe Bunk a slab of coldies.]

[Update 26 August 2008:  Contest is now closed.  Winner to be announced.]

[UPDATE 28 AUGUST 2008:  WE HAVE A WIENER!]

Gimme A Reason

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Babs’ uvula.”
“Babs’ uvula who?”
“I dunno, Babs, but but I do know this.
Babs, your uvula is on the fritz.”

[Image from here, with our favorite completely unrelated knock-knock joke in italics from SNL/Chevy Chase a long time ago.]

Skeletor

I feel like this a lot.  Okay, sometimes.  Alright, rarely do I feel like this, but occasionally I do, and this is exactly what it feels like.  Sorta.  (Note the mouth mice.) Yeah, sometimes I get mouse mouth, too.

But I get over it.  Sorta.

[Image from here.]

Where the Wild Things Are

Yeah.  99% of the same DNA.  BFD.
We gots 83% of the same DNA as celery.

[Image from here.]

Humpy-Blogs.com

Saturday Matinee: Black & Blue Danube Waltz, Jambalaya, Boil That Cabbage Down & an awful day.

Spike Jones & His City Slickers were amazingly talented but very corny.

Homer & Jethro grew up on corn, and were musically talented as well.

The Smothers Brothers sing “Boil That Cabbage Down” that includes the history of the Trans-Continental Railroad.

Rodney Carrington‘s song about an awful day (and it’s worse than finding pumas in the crevasse).

TGIF: The .Gif Friday Post 42- How Zippers Work

Red attacks Green who attacks back, while both are under the control of Yellow without knowing it.  Kinda like Rock-Paper-Scissors, with Paper in charge.

It’s a lot like politics. Red and Green are Democrats and Republicans, and Yellow stands for what passes for journalism these days.

[UPDATE:  Here’s the bunny Necromancer referred to in the comments below.]

Hummer-blog.com

The Awards Awards

Thanks to the always clever, rockin’ and rollin’ Amy Oops for this Prestegious Award.  We shall hang it proudly over the mahogany mantle of the Fireplace of Freedom at Tacky Raccoons Corporate Headquarters.

Since the rules of the viral awards require that I nominate others, here are five worthy recipients:

Cool Aggregator

Hanuman

I Am the Cheese

Archies Archive

Phils Phun

This plague plaque comes with a self-adhesive strip for convenient mounting at the eye level of your choice.