Saturday Matinee: Happy Independence Day!

If you haven’t read THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE since high school, maybe now is a good time to reread it, given our current economic situation and recent insufferable actions by the current administration.  The Heritage Foundation has an excellent introduction to The Declaration, one of the most influential documents in the history of western civilization.

Since this is our weekly Saturday Matinee, we took a walk through the Utoobage.  The first video that showed up is a very nice professional rendition by a handful of left-wing has-been Hollywood stars and starlets, reciting an EDITED version of the original Declaration, with very convenient omissions… and we’ll NOT post it here.

The next video listed on the Utoobage was well produced also, but devolves within seconds to a criticism of Thomas Jefferson as a slave owner, and, besides ignoring the historical context,  misses the point of The Declaration entirely, and confuses it with the Constitution of the United States. It is in fact the intro to the first video mentioned. We’ll not link to that piece of irrational and inaccurate garbage either.

But then we found this unstilted representation:

Those men, “The Founding Fathers,” had integrity, fortitude, morals, ethics and balls.  They did what they did under threat of being tortured and hanged for treason by the British.

Where can we find such courageous leaders today?  Certainly not in Washington D.C.

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Un poco de esto, un poco de ése

Someone’s about to get pounded, and it’s not the poor soul on the right.  He’s got a pocket force field that rebounds with force x 10.
[Anyone know the story of this dealie? Found here.]

Meanwhile, on a brighter note, the esteemed GE Eagle Esq pointed us to a link on the Beeb:  Raccoons eating “ice lollies.” Can’t embed that one, but it’s cute.

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But the UK’s got nothing on US.  Here’s the story from yesterday.  A juvy sea lion with an attitude was captured in Newport Beach, California,  after attempting to pirate a boat, terrorizing children, and refusing to leave the dock.

The sea lion was captured by the Orange County Sheriff’s Harbor Patrol, maneuvered into the fireboat, but it apparently evaded the crew and took the emergency helm in a last ditch effort to humiliate his human captors.  Turned on the sirens, honked the horn, put the vessel in reverse and cranked the throttle to full speed. [Full story here.]

Finally, there’s this, crossposted at Amy Oops:

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Lessee, they’ve now got it turned up to 62, 66 & 61 respectively. I had to look at it, so now its you’re turn. Note that the one on the right is also the 5th Baron Haden-Guest, and is still married to Jamie Lee Curtis.  [Spinal Tap ReOnion pic from here.]

The Ancients Predicted Obama’s Return

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Malaga/Atlantis (Strutts News Services) – The head of a long submerged work of ancient artistry was retrieved Thursday, that bore a striking resemblance to  the, um, meh.  Nevermind.

[Image and dopey story fouwound here.]

Life Choices: Seahorses or a Monkey?

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“Hey Dad! I got a dollar! Can I borrow $19?”

It’s all in the advertising.  Note that the $1 seahorses are not “Darling Pet Seahorses” (never mind that the ones in the picture are kinda dead and dessicated, and that just about anywhere in the world one can dig up sea shells hundreds of miles inland)…

But monkeys!

My dad knew that seahorses wouldn’t crap all over the house, wouldn’t get into the cupboard in the middle of the night to get at the strawberry preserves by dropping the jar on the tile floor, and wouldn’t attack your face when you looked them in the eye.  Dad was wise beyond his years.

“So can I get the seahorses?”

“No.”

[Image from the back of a 1967 needlework and crafts magazine, shown here.]

Mr. Fly’s Vacation

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More of Mr. Fly’s excellent adventures may be found here.

Ghost Riders in the Hot Links

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Cool social experiment: Tweenbots [found here].

Let’s make some Zen music.

Serious 3D total immersion video here.  The eyes override the brain.

What type of Web Commenter are YOU?  Descriptions here.  (As for me, you already know.)

Learn a new language here.

Some things you can’t “unclick” and there’s a big fat honkin’ one here.

Rockhoppers got their webcam back up and running.  YAY!

Buncha Buildings Bein’ Blowed-up here.

American ancestry brief from the 2000 census (via this excellent website). Interesting that the largest percentage, 1 in 6, described their ancestry as German.  When asked, I usually describe myself as European Mutt.

The New Yorker Magazine cartoon caption contest can always be answered with “[this].”

Nice tasty archive of linkages here.

Teh Fairies Debate parleys on.  Over 1,500 delightful educated comments for your perusal.

Seven questions about drinking water here.

And a cordial reminder:  Mother’s Day does not meanBe a Pain in the Butt Day.”

John Rowley’s Contribution to the World

How to Build a Zebra

Step 1.  Build a zebra frame.

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Step 2. Paint to resemble a zebra.

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How to Build a Rhinoceros

Step 1.  Build a rhinoceros frame.

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Step 2. Paint to resemble a rhinoceros.

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How to Build a Wildebeest

Step 1. Take a wild guess.

“The Art of Taxidermy,” 1898, by John Rowley can be found in its entirety here.  The text is fascinating.  I just might download it so I can repair my jackalope head.

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[Another excellent find by Hanuman.  Jackalope photo from here.  Also, check out our Archive of Contributions to the World.]

Happy Birthday, Diesel

jiminy-cricket1We first met Mr. D months before we lifted this from Mattress Police.  After heated debate about copyright infringement  (during which I pointed out his own legal transgressions)  we agreed to resolve the matter with my purchase of  a copy of “Tales of the Mattress Police.”  Cost me my penny jar vs. a long expensive legal procedure, and I think the settlement was fair.  Oddly, the tome vanished from sight within days of its arrival at the House of Strutts.

Our revered autographed copy  mysteriously reappeared recently, slightly soiled with suspicious creases in the binding, and with the bookmark postcard above stuck  in the crack between pages 136 & 137.

Anyone not familiar with Diesel’s work needs to read this classic entry.

Happy Birthday from Bunk and our crack team of webminers here at Tacky Raccoons.  Thanks for your advice and encouragement, Rob.  Lub you, man.

GOT GRAVITY?

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Want to shop here but lost your license?  Get your Superhero Certification reinstated via Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co. online.

[More info and photos here.  Related posts here.]

Dork Glasses

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These glasses, believe it or not, are for their own protection.  See link for the full story.

[Found here, by way of  here.]