Malaga/Atlantis (Strutts News Services) – The head of a long submerged work of ancient artistry was retrieved Thursday, that bore a striking resemblance to the, um, meh. Nevermind.
[Image and dopey story fouwound here.]
Category: True Stories
Life Choices: Seahorses or a Monkey?
“Hey Dad! I got a dollar! Can I borrow $19?”
It’s all in the advertising. Note that the $1 seahorses are not “Darling Pet Seahorses” (never mind that the ones in the picture are kinda dead and dessicated, and that just about anywhere in the world one can dig up sea shells hundreds of miles inland)…
But monkeys!
My dad knew that seahorses wouldn’t crap all over the house, wouldn’t get into the cupboard in the middle of the night to get at the strawberry preserves by dropping the jar on the tile floor, and wouldn’t attack your face when you looked them in the eye. Dad was wise beyond his years.
“So can I get the seahorses?”
“No.”
[Image from the back of a 1967 needlework and crafts magazine, shown here.]
Mr. Fly’s Vacation
More of Mr. Fly’s excellent adventures may be found here.
Ghost Riders in the Hot Links
Cool social experiment: Tweenbots [found here].
Let’s make some Zen music.
Serious 3D total immersion video here. The eyes override the brain.
What type of Web Commenter are YOU? Descriptions here. (As for me, you already know.)
Learn a new language here.
Some things you can’t “unclick” and there’s a big fat honkin’ one here.
Rockhoppers got their webcam back up and running. YAY!
Buncha Buildings Bein’ Blowed-up here.
American ancestry brief from the 2000 census (via this excellent website). Interesting that the largest percentage, 1 in 6, described their ancestry as German. When asked, I usually describe myself as European Mutt.
The New Yorker Magazine cartoon caption contest can always be answered with “[this].”
Nice tasty archive of linkages here.
Teh Fairies Debate parleys on. Over 1,500 delightful educated comments for your perusal.
Seven questions about drinking water here.
And a cordial reminder: Mother’s Day does not mean “Be a Pain in the Butt Day.”
John Rowley’s Contribution to the World
How to Build a Zebra
Step 1. Build a zebra frame.
Step 2. Paint to resemble a zebra.
How to Build a Rhinoceros
Step 1. Build a rhinoceros frame.
Step 2. Paint to resemble a rhinoceros.
How to Build a Wildebeest
Step 1. Take a wild guess.
“The Art of Taxidermy,” 1898, by John Rowley can be found in its entirety here. The text is fascinating. I just might download it so I can repair my jackalope head.
[Another excellent find by Hanuman. Jackalope photo from here. Also, check out our Archive of Contributions to the World.]
Happy Birthday, Diesel
We first met Mr. D months before we lifted this from Mattress Police. After heated debate about copyright infringement (during which I pointed out his own legal transgressions) we agreed to resolve the matter with my purchase of a copy of “Tales of the Mattress Police.” Cost me my penny jar vs. a long expensive legal procedure, and I think the settlement was fair. Oddly, the tome vanished from sight within days of its arrival at the House of Strutts.
Our revered autographed copy mysteriously reappeared recently, slightly soiled with suspicious creases in the binding, and with the bookmark postcard above stuck in the crack between pages 136 & 137.
Anyone not familiar with Diesel’s work needs to read this classic entry.
Happy Birthday from Bunk and our crack team of webminers here at Tacky Raccoons. Thanks for your advice and encouragement, Rob. Lub you, man.
GOT GRAVITY?
Want to shop here but lost your license? Get your Superhero Certification reinstated via Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co. online.
[More info and photos here. Related posts here.]
Dork Glasses
When I was a boy…
It’s got a zip code, ergo post 1963.
[Undoctored image found here.]
[Kinda Related Story: If you don’t believe this, you can verify it for yourself. In the google box, type in google trends. When the new box opens, type in Chuck Norris, boobs.
Also, except for understandable spikes in early November 2008 and late January 2009, The Little Mermaid consistently kicks Obama‘s ass. Analyze the data as you see fit.]
Urban Hunting
People like Mr. Beasley amaze me. Here’s a guy who grew up in the poverty-stricken rural south who knows more about basic survival than almost anyone reading this post. He’s carved himself a niche, trapping urban raccoons, cleaning them, and selling them to folks who enjoy this delicacy — IN DETROIT!
“Coon or rabbit. God put them there to eat. When men get hold of animals he blows them up and then he blows up. Fill ’em so full of chemicals and steroids it ruins the people. It makes them sick. Like the pigs on the farm. They’s 3 months old and weighing 400 pounds. They’s all blowed up. And the chil’ren who eat it, they’s all blowed up. Don’t make no sense.”
–Glemie Beasley, Urban Hunter.
I don’t agree with his argument against raising corn-fed animals to butcher, but consider this: If all of a sudden there was no food at the grocery stores and money became worthless, how would you feed your family?
You’d do it just like Glemie Beasley does it… or starve.
The video is interesting, but the “host” is a smarmy condescending dorkboy with a “soul patch” under his lower lip.
Finest point about capturing and butchering game such as possum and raccoon is to leave a paw on, so that folks can tell you’re not selling dog or cat carcasses. The video is graphic in as much as a cooking show shows a skinned chicken; but it also instructs on how to prepare small game carcasses.
[Full story with video here. Related stuff: I mentioned before that James Burke’s Part 3 of Episode 1 of his excellent Connections series is a must see. Be patient until 4:30- that’s where the meat is.]
Tacky Raccoons 