AGW – Stop Global Warming In 9 Easy Steps

  1. Get rid of your gas-guzzling internal combustion vehicle.
  2. Get a wheelbarrow, install a platform with seats and a roof.
  3. Hire a peasant to take you where you want to go.
  4. Take smug pride in your efforts to save the world from Global Warming and brag about it to your friends.
  5. Bitch to your friends about having to pay the peasant.
  6. Fire the peasant and sell the wheelbarrow.
  7. Buy a car and offer the peasant transportation for a small fee.
  8. You are now an entrepreneur. Enjoy.
  9. Get rid of your gas-guzzling internal combustion vehicle.

[Image via email – 1389AD]

China Reverse-Engineers Chelsea Clinton

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Beijing, China (Strutts New Services) – On Thursday, the People’s Republic of China revealed that they have perfected an audio-animatronic version of Ex-President Clinton’s daughter Chelsea.

On conditions of anonymity, Chelsea Clinton responded, “Eeew. That’s not me. That’s like my Mom, you dork. Like ‘DUH.'”

The robot giggles incoherently, serves tea, and pets the servants when directed, exactly like her mama does, but without the head butts.

The animatron correctly responds to up to ten questions with pre-programmed responses.  These responses include, “I don’t remember,” “I don’t recall,”  “Are you serious?” and “GTF out of this office.”

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[ERRATA:  Strutts News Services neglected to verify the accuracy of information provided by unrelated sources while composing this post.  The Robot in the photo is neither Chelsea Clinton, nor Hillary Clinton, but a random slutbot.  The creator, Mr. Wang Wenrong only intends to build a Hillarybot.  The editors of Strutts News Services regret the error.]

[Image from here, with more info here.  Related post here.]

China Denies Reverse Engineering Mice

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呼和浩特 (從Strutts通訊社滑稽的荒唐) –

hu先生否認中國是違反版權法通過拆卸老鼠。
「沒有法律版權在老鼠設計! 我們的所有是拆卸我們捉住的那个,創造一個較不昂貴的方式做他們,放回他們一起,并且他們是,像新一樣。 然後我們賣他們到美國,美國人吃他們。「

[Photographic evidence provided by Sourfizz. English to Traditional Chinese translator may be found here. The re-translation back to English is close enough for Bunk. Bite the wax tadpole.]

UPDATE: Although the post preview displayed actual chinese characters, WordPress changed them to question marks in the final post. Here is the re-translation from Traditional Chinese to English:

Huhhot (from the Strutts news agency funny absurd) –

Mr. hu denies China is violates the copyright law through the disassemblage mouse.
“Does not have the legal copyright in the mouse design! We all are that which disassembles us to seize, creates a not expensive way to be them, returns them together, and they are, new is likely same. Then we sell them to arrive US, the American eat them.”

How can you argue with that?

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