Month: July 2008

Abandoned Baby Survives Weeks on Nothing But Cheetos

Lengua Chucha, Mexico (Strutts News Services) – Standing a mere 6-inches tall at the withers, this lil’ pup was hatched a few days after his momma lost interest and wandered from the nest.  Finding an open cache of Cheetos that had washed up on the beachhead, lil’ pup was found chowing down on the fluorescent orange morsels.

Since then he’s been moved to a foster shelter, where his diet has been augmented with Big Macs and Super Size Fries, and he is expected to reach 2,500 lbs.  (average weight for his age) by the end of the month.  Way to go, Lil’ Pup!

[Image from here. Related posts here, here and maybe there.]

Humor-Blogs.com

Heavy Weather Station

Although this was found on a Russian website, it came with this attached description:

The Tornado Intercept Vehicle just east of Kearney, NE, on I-80, May 29, 2008. The TIV is a vehicle specifically designed for storm chaser Sean Casey and follows Josh Wurman’s Project Rotate radar crew, currently being filmed for a documentary by the Discovery Channel.

[Image from here via here.]

Lesbian Amputee Dwarf Porn

Okay, a number of you folks dared me to make a post with that obnoxious non-sequitur of a title, and now you want pictures.  Go visit your favorite regular mainstream lesbian amputee dwarf porn site of choice for LADP photos (the one you already have bookmarked) ’cause you won’t find ’em here.

Yeah, I know.  It’s a shallow cheap plug for traffic, and it prolly won’t happen again.  All in fun, folks, all in fun.  Settle down…  it’s still better than reading a parsing of an Obama speech, and you’ve got a captioned animal picture as a bonus.

Tell you what.  Just for playing along, I’ll let you know how much the traffic on this post spikes with just those four little PG-13 words.  You can play along, too, just by linking to this post with those same four little PG-13 words, and lemme know if YOUR traffic spikes up a tad as well.  Or not.

[Original undoctored image from somewhere in here.]

Humor-Blogs.com

Babe Magnet: Blew Flamer

Been a while since we had a good Babe Magnet post, and I’d completely forgotten about this one (forwarded by the lovely and talented Jen of Casual Slack several months ago).

What can we possibly say about this excellent example of Babe Magnetage that isn’t intuitively obvious to the casual observer?  More than you might think.

If I’m not mistaken, this Vehicle of Vapidity is a 1989 Nissan 4-dork that was originally silver, until Bonnie Phumph’s little brother Dirk took over the ride when Bonnie left for animal husbandry school in Middlevale last year.   Dirk went on a yellow spray paint rampage.

Puke Yellow Bile is not an attractive color for any Japanese import, so Dirk took it a step further with the LameFlame job.  But of course, just like any proud owner of a newly created Babe Magnet, he couldn’t stop there.  Nope.  He used the rest of the blue dork-spray paint to stencil “Dirk is King,”  “Dirk Rules” and  “Dirk Rocks” in Tolkien runes on the door panels just underneath the windows.

But he didn’t stop there either.  Enter a poor rendition of Marvin the Martian on the left rear quarter panel.  This work o fart just screams “Dirk is a complete moron!”  And just so anyone missed the message, Dork managed to knock off his rearview mirror in the Dairy Queen drive-thru and repaired it with, yep, you guessed it, duct tape.

Pure efficient genius.

[A truly amazing compilation of Babe Magnets may be found HERE.]

Humor-Blogs.com

Bride of Hot Links

The Undramatic Chipmunk found via cnet.

Lotsa odd facial hair here.

Build you own virtual star and watch it grow old.

Unintentional Goatse proves that there is indeed a website for everyone.

How to confuse an idiot: here (from Phil’s Phun).

Websperiments.

Try out the Uglifier. On yourself.

Winter in Russia.

The first ButtBerry Award, here.

How to deliberately create an unsuccessful blog, by Slippy.

Always dry, always excellent:  Futility Closet.

Ditto Hanuman. I don’t know where he finds these gems.

Garfield-Garfield from SNTC.

Speaking of lame comic strips:  Marmaduke Explained shows us all where we missed the humor.

And finally, here’s the correct response to every New Yorker Magazine caption contest.

TGIF: The .GIF Friday Post 39 – Dead Cow Walking

18 JULY BONUS: The Girl Who Never Closes Her Mouth

[Both images from here.]

First Known Earth Fart Discovered (and Ignited); Gas Burns for Decades


DARVAZ’ HELLFIRE
Soviets found an earth fart and lit it.
Uzbekistan, Ukraine – (Strutts News Services)

According to various reports, a massive gas vent was discovered and subsequently ignited in 1973 by Soviet geologists in search of other stuff.  Some sources indicate that the global flatulence may have been ignited earlier than was initially reported.  From the amazing website English Russian:

“This place in Uzbekistan is called by locals “The Door to Hell”. It is situated near the small town of Darvaz. The story of this place lasts already for 35 years. Once the geologists were drilling for gas. Then suddenly during the drilling they have found an underground cavern, it was so big that all the drilling site with all the equipment and camps got deep deep under the ground. None dared to go down there because the cavern was filled with gas. So they ignited it so that no poisonous gas could come out of the hole, and since then, it’s burning, already for 35 years without any pause. Nobody knows how many tons of excellent gas has been burned for all those years but it just seems to be infinite there.”

Local immigrant resident Joey “Boris” Catawba summed it up.  “I’ve lived here for almost 10 years.  Everything always smells like burnt cheese and vinegar.  Someone should do something.  This really sucks.”

[More images here.]

Holy SkyGator, Batman!

Don’t move or look him in the eyes and he won’t see you.  Cue the Theme, then duck and cover.  Meet y’all back under the cypress roots. Good luck.

[Image from Bits & Pieces.]

EVABODY SAY “AARRRRGGGHHH!!”

Apparently, there’s a Russian holiday, where veterans of the Frontier Guard (looks to me to be about a dozen of ’em) get to cavort in fountains and drink lots and lots of vodka. Like this guy:

“ARE—YOU—READY—–TO RHUMBA?!”

No doubt about it. Russkies know how to party. AARRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!

[More images of the festivities here, via here.]