[ROFL Copter I can be found here.]
Elmo dance HARD!
Udaman! Not. Udaman! Not. Udaman! Not.
Oh yeah. Office Dog.
[Tip ‘o the tarboosh to Dan for Office Dog. Like .gif animations? Be sure to sample our Nice N Crispy Archive.]
Category: Dog Stuff
Growing Dogs: Part 3 – Repotting
[This is Part 3 of an ongoing series on Growing Dogs. Previous hints and tips may be found here .]
Pisgah, OH (Strutts News Services) –
From Part 1 — Growing Dogs
Anyone who has tried to raise big dogs in the city understands the difficulties involved. One authority, Ms. Tooncie Crumbler, has beat the odds and raised several healthy crops of Retrievers Golden outside her flat in downtown Pisgah.
We contacted Ms. Tooncie Crumbler, president of the Ohio Canine Planting Society, and asked her about the importance of planter sizing when raising pups.
“It all has to do with hybridization,” said Ms. Crumbler. “Many hybrids require larger containers, lest they get rootbound. If you pay attention to their growth patterns, these breeds will let you know when repotting is necessary for healthy growth.”
Ms. Crumbler said that the signs are usually obvious. “If the soil begins spilling from the top of the planter, that’s usually a good indication that the pup is ready for the next size up. If you don’t replant within two to three weeks, your crop’s roots will be stunted, and that dog won’t hunt.”
[Coming up: Part 4 – Pruning.]
[Image from here. ]
Dog Meeting
There’s always one who thinks sleeps outside of the box. Unlike CATS.
[Since Feels.ru has begun tagging their images and has gotten a little smuttier recently, I’ve taken them off the blogroll. I might link to individual posts instead.]
Growing Dogs: Part 2 – Culling
Another Great Gift Idea: Sick Japanese Dog With Infectious Saliva Game!
Okay, um, lessee. You open the sickly dog’s skull, stick his tongue to the roof of his mouth and pour in a bunch of green slime with little tidbits in it. Now the sinuses are loaded. Close the head, and doggy drools infected pus with candies that you try to retrieve with electrified tweezers before they land on his tongue.
But here’s the excellent twist: If you pick the wrong tidbit, you are awarded with 110V of Japanese current coursing through your metacarpals. Hilarity ensues as you roll on the floor convulsing uncontrollably. Everyone’s a loser in this game, not just you!
It still doesn’t beat “Pie Face” as our all-time favorite strategy game, but it’s a close second.
[Found at RGS, with many more to choose from. Nice archive of gifts here.]
Growing Dogs: Part 1 – Planting
Pisgah, Ohio (Strutts News Services) – Anyone who has tried to raise big dogs in the city understands the difficulties involved. One authority, Ms. Tooncie Crumbler, has beat the odds and raised several healthy crops of Retrievers Golden outside her flat in downtown Pisgah.
“Assuming you start with good stock, all it takes are a few clippings, good soil, and bone meal mulch to get ’em to take root and prosper,” said Ms. Crumbler, 78. “Then you have to keep them watered. They do better in the shade, otherwise they tend to wither, and you have to crop ’em back occasionally.”
When asked about the sprouts observed outside of the planters, Ms. Crumbler initially denied their existence, but admitted that she was embarrassed for not having weeded the strays as often as she’d like.
“Once I get me some more planters, I’ll dig ’em up and pot ’em. Until then, they’re just weeds to me.”
Hot Links Meets the Werewolf
Marble Furnace, OH (Strutts News Service)
Dog Sucked into HVAC Return Air Grille. Film at 11.
Before you go any further, check out Pandora Radio, search for Louis Armstrong, click play, and then continue. You’ll like it, especially on a Sunday morning with fried eggs sprinkled with garlic powder, sausage patties, and sourdough toast slathered with real butter. That’s what I’m gonna do. Makes the rest of the week just gravy.
The Clogblogger is a Blog about Clogs.
Four women with different problems here. No. 3 is my favorite.
RGF appropriately calls them “Bike Crickets.”
Best of Dicky Goodman:
Side A: Batman and His Grandmother
Side B: Suspense
What if there were no “handedness?” Read “Harvey’s Hands.”
Find out what’s happening on teh internest RIGHT NOW [Via The Presurfer].
Join the disgustion. Dessicated Fairies, here.
When a boy loves a girl, you hear a version of this in your head.
Panel discussion: America should stop throwing money in a hole. Here.
Loosely related to videos posted yesterday, check out Blackboard Jungle.
.GIF Friday Post 51: Dead Dog Record + POLL!
Babe (I mean Bitch) Magnet
[Okay, we’re talking about Definition No. 1 in Webster ‘s Unabridged here. This post is about DOGS AND THEIR CARS.]
“Opal, you hot little bitch! We’re off to the frisbee catchin’ competition, so quit yer yappin’ before I nip you in the hindquarters!”
Looks like Bowzer’s already caught one with his canine carriage of love. Gotta load of Cheese-N-Liver flavored MilkBones in the glove compartment, and a case of rawhide chews in the trunk, with Don Charles’ Singing Dogs, Howlin’ Wolf’s Greatest hits, and the full-length version of George Clinton’s “Atomic Dog” for later in the CD Player queue lineup.
Bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yay.
[Image from here.]
The Ignosecond
The Ignosecond is roughly defined as the time between the moment one does something inherently stupid and the moment one realizes that it’s too late to stop the results of that action.
Example: You exit your car, lock the car door and swing it shut; immediately before the car door latches you realize that your keys are still in the ignition. That minuscule span of time is called the Ignosecond.
Underrated comedian Rich Hall coined the term “Sniglet” for something that ought to have a word to describe it but doesn’t. “Ignosecond” is such a word.
Because of the instantaneous nature of the Ignosecond, it’s very difficult to capture the image precisely when it occurs, so some of these images below are actually “Pre-Igno” and/or “Post-Igno.”
Although this “Post-Ignosecond” was staged, this happened to a college buddy who grabbed the “Head & Shoulders” shampoo instead of the toothpaste.
True ignosecond. The dog lived, but was never quite the same. His stance widened considerably, but other than that was fine, and earned the nickname “LowBrow.”
Post ignosecond for this dog who learned that he can’t herd boars.
True ignosecond. Both riders suddenly realized why bikers wear leather.
True ignosecond.
Pre-ignosecond has passed. Post-ignosecond coming up.
Pre-ignosecond. The guy on the left is about to try to scare the bear. Then he’ll experience the nasty end of the ignosecond.
Post ignosecond: “…and then when the beer spilled I dropped my cigareet onto my lap and that’s when I hit the ‘celerator instead of the brakes! Thank God it’s your wife’s car!” [True story from here via Arbroath.]
IGNOSECOND TRIFECTA! All three had their own ignoseconds caught on tape (four including the cameraman).
Years ago when Bunk was a lil’ tad, Momma Strutts accidentally locked the keys to the Ford Country Squire IN the Ford Country Squire, in the AGC grocery store parking lot. She called my father to bring the extra key. That’s when the ignosecond struck. While waiting for Papa Strutts to show up, I found that one of the rear passenger doors was still unlocked. Momma was not stupid; she deftly opened the door, and without saying anything, pushed the lock button down and shut it. I’ve always admired her for that.
[Images from [Insert Witty Title] and AmyOops.]
Tacky Raccoons 
