Category: Stupid

Senator Joe Biden Stares Down Dictators

Wilmington, Delaware (Strutts News Services) –  According to an amazing number of news sources, Joe Biden was nominated earlier today as Obama’s VP because he’s “stared down dictators”  according to Barack Obama.

I imagine he did it just like this guy, and dictators all over the world collectively lost control of their bowels and changed their governments to democratically elected representative republics.

The world is a safer place because of Senator Joe Biden.

[UPDATE:  Strutts News Services reports 19,500 hits for a google search of “Joe Biden stared down dictators.” Name one dictator that Biden “stared down” and the results of that stare down.  The world is waiting.]

[UPDATE 2: Here.]

[UPDATE 3:  Welcome Malkinites!]

Independence Day 2008 at Yankee Stadium

Maybe I’m easily amused, but this reeks of coolness. It’s a pan & zoom image of Yankee Stadium during the Yankees vs. Red Sox game of 4 July 2008.  Boston won 6-4 on a freak triple.

[See below for the linkoids.]

Here’s the wide angle, and I decided to zoom in.  The second thing I was looking for was a guy who probably drives a Babe Magnet:  Where’s Waldork?

Game is underway, 1st Inning.

An obnoxious jerk can be found anywhere, and I guessed that the cheap seats would be a good bet.

This section looked promising.  Completely arbitrary guess.

Getting closer!  Stadium usher in the aisle is eyeballing someone…

Ooh!  We have a candidate, and it’s not the waterbed in the back row or the wannabe in the front.

WOOP! DEY HE IS!

Rock out dude! Everyone should be playing air guitar at a Yankees game!  Or are you yelling at the umpire already, as if he can hear you from a half-mile away.  DUDE, it’s only the first inning.  Chill.

Don’t double-dose your meds again, dood. Everyone’s ignoring you (except for the usher,  the lady in the red tunic and the one in white southwest of you on the previous image). What Babe Magnet do you drive, bro?

[Link found at Grow-A-Brain. The Very Cool Hi-Def Zoom/Pan image of Yankee Stadium can be found here.]

[UPDATE:  HERE’S A BONAFIDE COMPETITION. FIRST ONE OF Y’ALL TO EMAIL BUNK A SCREEN SHOT (.jpg file only) OF THE GUY IN THIS STADIUM CROWD WHO’S POINTING DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA WINS A VERY COOL PRIZE IN 100% WORKING CONDITION, INCLUDING BATTERIES AND INSTRUCTIONS, IN ORIGINAL PACKAGING!]

[This Contest is on as long as CNN/SI keeps their site open, or until a winner is announced on THIS website.  If CNN closes its site, and no one has offered/emailed a winning .jpg image to Bunk Strutts at the contact address CLEARLY shown above, this contest is closed, null and void, and we’ll snivel out of awarding anyone anything.  By submitting a .jpg image, y’all agree that this is all in fun and stuff, and everything that that this statement means in a colloquial sense releases Bunk and his Crack Team of Webminers from any and all legal responsibility.  In other words, we won’t owe you a damn thing beyond what is promised and awarded via these described caveats, no matter what… just a damn thing that works, beeps when it’s supposed to, and requires batteries. The prize-winner pays the shipping costs and may or may not owe Bunk a slab of coldies.]

[Update 26 August 2008:  Contest is now closed.  Winner to be announced.]

[UPDATE 28 AUGUST 2008:  WE HAVE A WIENER!]

Where the Wild Things Are

Yeah.  99% of the same DNA.  BFD.
We gots 83% of the same DNA as celery.

[Image from here.]

Humpy-Blogs.com

Babe Magnet: WWJD

That’s right.  What Would Jesus Drive?

According to one source, on 25 September 1990, Kelly Murray drove his ball 684.8 yards on the 30-foot wide airstrip at Fairmont Hot Springs, British Columbia, setting a new world record.

Of course, Jesus could drive as far as He wanted, but would hold back a bit so as not to completely eradicate the game.  He plays fair, and it’s not in His temperament to call His Father on the celestial cellphone and say, “Hey Pop! I got a 7:45AM tee-off time.  You mind warping space and time for a microsecond?”

On the other hand, He might just skitter one longways across a water hazard, up the bank, around a sand trap and into the hole instead, only to show that it can be done (and to inspire others to keep perfecting their game instead of yelling “F**K!” after each shot).

So what would He drive?  I’m guessing 150-175 yards with no wind… but He’d clean up with His putts.

[Image from here.]

I Spy Wormholes

[Original image and title from here.]

Humor-Blogs.com

MataDoreen

¡Tortuga! ¡Consiga aquí! ¡No tan rápidamente!
(Un poco más lento, por favor…)

[Image from here.]

Homer-Blogs.com

I Was A Teenage Hot Links

She wants you to right-click on her.  Now.

Chuck Norris vs. Nancy Pelosi.

The Intro to “The Prisoner.”  Great ’60s spy/spook/paranoia TV show about freedom. No. 6 never gives up his ethics, even when given the opportunities.  There are way too many politicians these days, and too few are No. 6’s.  [Yeah I know, it’s a link repost.  It’s still great, though.]

Sunday is FUNDAY! from FinPeng.

Make your own KFC Cardboard Colonel.

Smelly Board Game via RGS.

I don’t play flash games, but some of these look pretty good.

Mighta posted this link before, but here it is again, just in case.

Fly around until you realize that there’s only one lake.

Fly a balloon – This one’s been around a while, but it’s still clever.  Click the link and ride.

Lotsa “Crappy Album Covers” here.  Don’t miss “Fun With Joyce.” (Related posts here and here.)

Vinyl Abuse has some interesting figurines for some not so interesting prices.  Worth a look, though.

Here’s an archive of links about B.O.

Dionne Warwick’s Cosmic Peephole.  Really.

Webpost titled “Moms with IBS.” I don’t know why it was linked to this post, but Barrack works in mysterious ways.

How to get to anyplace in the world in 42 minutes.

Homer-Blabs.com

“Chicks Dig Me…

…when I cry in the bathtub.”

[Image from Hot Lard.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post – Ya gotta see this one

While you’re all waiting for that .gif file to load, at precisely eight minutes and eight seconds past eight o’clock this morning, today’s digital date and time wiil be was 08/08/08 08:08:08.

And since she’s back in the news again for actually memorizing 30 seconds worth of lines, here’s The Many FACE of Paris Hilton:

[Tip o’ the tarboosh to Phreak 2.0 for the Tour de Paris.]

Hammer-Blogs.com

Rear Exit No.2

“Daddy!  Daddy!  Were you watching?  I’m an elephant poop!  Watch me! I’m gonna be a BIG elephant poop!  Watch me!”

Climbing up into its butt and being elephant vomit just can’t be nearly as much fun.

[Image from here.  Related post here (and for his birfday,  Phil gets a free pass through the pachyderm, in the direction of his choice).]

Humor-Blugs.com