Category: True Stories

Armistice Day: The 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918

[Update: Corrected factual error.]

Armistice Day was celebrated as an end to The Great War in Europe. Subsequently it was called “Veterans Day” in the United States in 1954. In Canada and most of the Commonwealth, it is observed as “Remembrance Day.”

Those decorated envelopes were sent by “Tid” Myers, my great grandfather, to his son, Pvt. Walter Myers, while Walter was stationed in France. I remember Uncle Walter as an almost blind old man whose hobby was amateur (HAM) radio.  I was too young to understand his hobby, and didn’t know enough about WWI to ask him what I’d ask him now. Uncle Walter passed on in 1978 and I never knew what he had gone through until decades later.

The following are transcripts of letters sent by Walter Myers to his parents.  He was in the U.S. Army Signal Corps in WWI.  The Signal Corps used balloons to survey the German trenches and movements, and was a very risky business.

The messages below are as is, without editing.
_________________________________________________

France, August 27, 1918

Dearest Mom and Dad,

Was under fire for the first time recently. No casualties. Believe me  you have never heard such an unearthly noise. Everything quiet then all of a sudden “Boom” s-h-h-h sh-sh-sh-sh. The boom is when the shell bursts and the “sh” sounds like the wind whistling through a crack. The “sh” is caused by flying splinters. The damned Dutch can’t hit a barn so we should worry. We have dugouts.

Sorry I can’t tell more. This may be cut out. I don’t think it will though because there is no information. I guess the Dutch remember shooting at us.  So this letter wouldn’t give them any “info.”

_________________________________________________

October 25, 1918
On the Front

Dear Mom and Dad:

Well, as per usual. A short ‘un. Have had some excitement lately but I get so darn used to excitement that it takes something more daring each time to satisfy me.  We lost another balloon the other day.  Burned by a boche airman. God knows but maybe our machine guns didn’t give him “H” but he got away with it. Our observers landed safe in their parachutes.

The Boche shelled us the other night and one shell landed about ten feet from your truly’s tent. Say, boy, you ought to have seen our gang high-tail it for the dugouts.  It was in the middle of the night and we all had to get out of bed but you didn’t see anybody in their under clothes for we never take our clothes off. I haven’t had my clothes off for about three weeks and Lord only knows when I got a bath last.  There is an old shell hole about ten feet from my  tent which is full of water and I am going to take a bath there if  I freeze my “arse” off.

You want to know if I “ever” had the cooties.  Well, I’ll tell you. I have ’em most of the time.  But they aint so worse after you have ’em  a while. I “kinda” got used to ’em.  We call the Boche, “Jerry.”

_________________________________________________

November 14, 1918
For the first time away from the front since July 5th.
In a camp, behind the lines.

Dear Mom and Dad:

Well, of all the wonderful things that could ever happen. The war is “won.”  As the French say, “Fini la Guerre.”  Every Frenchman we meet hollers, “Fini la Guerre, Merci!  Beaucoup.”  It means– the war is over, thank you many times.  We are sure some glad bunch.  I sure will have a lot of stuff to tell you when I return.  And that won’t be long.  We are now away from the front for the first time.  I just got rid of a bunch of cooties yesterday.  I hope that they will be the last, too.  They are sure the cause of one hell of a feeling.

Well, this is all for the present.  So long and hoping to see you soon.

Soldier Bill

_________________________________________________

[Update: The Philadelphia Intelligencer ran a story about the envelopes today, with more pictures.]

Bunky’s Grumpkin 2010

I’m proud to say that my grumpkins make big dogs bark and little kids cry. Previous year’s grumpkins can be found here and here.

Once A Ramone Always A Ramone

As drummer for the seminal punk band The Ramones, surviving member Marky Ramone is enhancing his portfolio by marketing Marky Sauce.  It’s the loudest, fastest and most awesome pasta sauce you’ll ever see in your lifetime. Gabba freakin’ Hey!

[Video here, Marky’s website here. Tip o’ the tarboosh to WN.]

For fans, here’s a bonus clip from “End of the Century.”

Look at this MF Batman

Oh, the possibilities. Were it not for Feldman‘s death in 1982, this movie would have been pure awesome, especially if Mel Brooks had anything to do with it.

Here’s some trivia: Feldman suffered from Grave’s disease, an auto-immune/thyroid condition that caused his eyes to bulge. But that’s not what killed him. He was in a hotel room in Mexico City during the making of the movie Yellowbeard. MAD cartoonist Sergio Aragonés, dressed as an armed policeman for an unrelated film, startled Feldman when he showed up to introduce himself. Feldman subsequently died of a heart attack.

[Image found here.]

“I Am Eating Candy.”

Although the book is sixty years old, Viktor Lowenfeld described the childhood stages of  perception, via drawing and painting, and included a section on the blind and deaf. Lowenfeld was very perceptive and astute in using art to measure the mental progress of young ‘uns.

“I Am Eating Candy” is the title of a clay sculpture by an 11 year old blind and deaf girl who attended the Perkins Institution for the Blind in the late 1940s. It’s from a book entitled “Creative and Mental Growth – A Textbook on Art Education,” by Viktor Lowenfeld, Pennsylvania State College, published by The Macmillan Company, New York, 1950. Here’s the full plate:

I’m tempted to scan the entire book into .pdf format… it’s that awesome.

Nose Harp

[Found in Strider’s awesome collection of crap.]

Several Serious Layers of Awesome

Although the sign says “Mockingbird Heights Drag Strip,” the photo was probably taken at the NHRA Drag Strip in Pomona California in the mid 1960s. Fred Gwynne as Herman Munster was accompanied by Grampa Munster (Al Lewis) for a publicity stunt.

I watched the show as a kid for obvious reasons, but especially to see Marilyn Munster. All the little chicks with the crimson lips fawned over 10 year old Eddie Munster, and one of his fans finally tracked down Butch Patrick.

[WARNING: DISTURBING IMAGE AFTER THE BREAK.] Continue reading “Several Serious Layers of Awesome”

Sub-Basic Pizza

Seems to me that it would’ve been cheaper to order a hamburger with a couple of toasted extra buns, but that involves a lot of planning and logistics, not to mention the aggravation of travel time.

I’d have sent it back because the beef is not on the left half  side, just to see how the pizzaman resolved the problem without using Elmer’s. Of course, if I did that, pizzaman would block my phone number. Not worth it.

[Found here.]

5:06:07 08/09/10

It happened this morning. It’ll happen again this afternoon. Thought you’d like to know [via].

Swiss Army Crapper

“Honey, it locked up again and I’ve gotta go, real bad.”

There’s something about designers who insist on taking a concept that works and trying to fix it. Just because it’s different, doesn’t necessarily make it better, and this is a great example.

Yeah, it looks cool, and it takes up less space than a regular bathroom with a toilet and a shower, but look closer at what it takes away.

  • The floor and all walls of the room need to be waterproofed, and it has to have a floor drain.
  • All electrical fixtures, switches and outlets need to be waterproof, too.
  • The floor is always cold. And wet.
  • Forget mildew problems. Now you have water deposits to clean.
  • To clean it, you need a ladder… and machine oil.
  • No grooming mirror in front of the lavatory so you might as well do it in a dark closet.
  • The toilet seat will always be wet. No furry seat cover cozies for you!
  • Forget about a toilet paper dispenser. You better remember to fish it out of the linen cabinet every time.
  • Women have no countertop space to display all 31 beauty enhancement products and accouterments.
  • Men have no place to set their beer while they pee into the floor drain.

Now, if it had a single button that springs everything into a usable configuration, that might be cool, except when the power goes out. In other words, it’s another great example of pure efficient genius.

[Found here, crossposted here, with a Tip o’ the Tarboosh to Snork.]