The Best Crappiest Speakers Ever Made.

RCA

They looked like armadillos boinking a mailbox, and yes, they were speakers. They were virtually indestructible. They hung on the inside of your car window when it was freezing outside and wouldn’t allow you to roll it up all the way.

They were also easily stolen with a pen knife. Lupe had a wall of them in his apartment, all wired together and hooked up to his stereo for a tinny wall of sound. Listening to Led Zeppelin through a dozen drive-in rattlebuzzers was truly something to behold. Truly.

[Found here.]

Happy Thanksgiving

Retro Thanksgiving

It amazes me to think that in September 1620, 102 people were so fed up with the English monarchy that they were willing to risk a dangerous late-season voyage across the Atlantic (that lasted over two months at sea) to a new land to establish a free colony.

Disease, scurvy, starvation and weather exposure took their toll, and half of them died before the following spring. In March of 1621, the survivors sought to establish Plymouth Rock, ventured ashore, and met an escaped British slave named Squanto who spoke English.

His first words to William Bradford were:
“Dude. This is a swamp. You f’d up. Y’all gonna die an’ stuff.”
Bradford replied, “Bro, WTF?”
“Here. Plant some of this, but put a fish under it.”
“Dude, no way.”
“Way. Just do it.”
“K.  By the way, we got a plow.”
“Get out. You got a what? What you need a plow on a boat for?”
“We got one. You got an ox?”
“Ordered one on Amazon, but he ain’t showed up yet. They walk slow.”
“Cool. We’re gonna pop some pheasant for supper. Y’all wanna come?”
“Hell yeah. We’ll bag some Bambi and see you about 4.”

And the rest is history.

Have a great holiday, folks, and never forget the Reason for Thanksgiving.

[Image from here.]

The Curse of The Red Shirt

Red Shirt Curse

“Sorry, lil’ buddy, but it’s true. You’re a goner within 10 minutes of the first commercial.”

The only one who escaped The Curse Of The Red Shirt was Scottie. He was strong. He was invincible. He was Lt. Commander Scott.
[Image found here.]

Big Little Green Army Men

Green Army Men

Yeah, we had ’em.

We’d split them up, Germans vs. Allies, set them up in the dirt, then each of us would shoot rubber bands at the opponent’s “army.” If the rubber band knocked over a soldier, he was taken off of the battlefield as KIA.

If you shot a rubber band off your thumb, hit or miss, it became part of your opponent’s arsenal. If you were a good shot but too aggressive, you might run out of rubberband ammo and lose the battle. Strategy & Tactics for 8 year old boys.

[Found here, via here.]

James Brown was Stillborn.

James Brown Star Time 1 James Brown Star Time 2

James Brown Star Time 2a

Not to disparage the late Butane James, but being born dead and recovering is one helluva fetus. Aside from that, this compilation is completely awesome.

Hot Links For Your Own Good

Maude's Father

Mrs. Miller sings Petula Clark’s hit “Downtown.” Double dog dare you to listen to the whole thing.

Nice stonework.

What The Hell Did Jesse Jackson Say?” is a radio game show on AM640KFI hosted by Tim Conway Jr. (who’s funny as hell, and the game is tougher than you think).

What you get when you heat aluminum to 1200 degrees F and pour it into an ant colony [via].

Mozilla has a new add-on for FireFox that allows you to see who’s tracking you across the internet called “Lightbeam” (originally named “Collusion”). In February 2012, Mozilla CEO Gary Kovacs explained it’s origin and purpose at a TED Talk.

Tree trimming via helicopter.

“I made this powerpoint for this week’s lesson – Regional/Iconic American Foods. I went back through and replaced all the text with my student’s reactions.” His students are Chinese.

Airhorn Classics – Various Artists [via].

Top image found here.

Insta-Tan

Insta-Tan

According to some venues these days, everyone hates being born white, so here’s the solution. Flick the Zippo, fire up the burner, and whammo.
Instant tan. Guaranteed to turn your hair black, too.

[Found in here.]

Atari Meets Foghat

Atari + Foghat

This is creepy as hell. What did they do with Mom?

[Found here. Related post here.]

A One-Man Halloween Party

Halloween Party Man

A hayseed, a jug o’ hard cider with a corncob bung, and a pumpkin. The guy’s ready for anything.

[Found here.]

Hold Still. We’re Going Velour.

Velour

It’s almost a Norman Rockwell moment.

[Found here.]