According to the Oxford English Dictionary the term “humpty dumpty” referred to a drink of brandy boiled with ale in the seventeenth century. The riddle probably exploited, for misdirection, the fact that “humpty dumpty” was also eighteenth-century reduplicative slang for a short and clumsy person.
Although there are other unproven theories that the rhyme references an historical figure or event, Humpty Dumpty was merely a riddle of the “What Am I” sort, and the answer was “an egg.” (And ten dozen guys couldn’t figure out how to make an omelette?) Try this one:
I am white And wet to touch; I can blind If you stare too much.
“Ja, kjære. Jeg kommer til å få en pakke sigaretter og et par øl. Jeg vil se deg neste uke. Hvis jeg ikke er tilbake på søndag, spise en røyskatt for kveldsmat.”
We had to watch that in junior high school. We all snickered to ourselves and laughed out loud afterwards. Once school let out, we went trolling anyway:
“Hello, Mrs. Jenkins? This is Bob from Hi-Times Liquor. Your husband left his wallet and motel key on the counter.”
“You Asked For It“ was an early television show that pulled in viewers by asking for requests. This one shows some old carnival gaffes, some of which are still employed.
Bob Kuban & The In-Men had their one hit in 1966 with “The Cheater” and the song fits. (Irony note: Kuban was killed by his wife’s boyfriend in 1983.) I couldn’t find a live version, but this works.
The Crappercycle is designed to save paper toilet seat covers. Really.
“Sit Better – Fit Better – Feel Better – Naturally Better” is the motto of the manufacturer of a toilet seat made especially for wide loads help you 5#!+ better. Really.
Here’s a clever fixture that allows evacuation without even pulling your pants down. Really.
