Category: Humor
Wednesday The 13th: Half a Week of Bad Luck and Passive-Aggressive Warning Fail
Looks like a good 50 yards from the road to the House of Waggin’ Fingers. From now on your preteen boys will be watching the clock to make sure they have their fuzzy little faces stuck to the windows when the joggers disrobe and then put on “DECENT CLOTHING” as they pass by your house.
Please define “DECENT CLOTHING” and “OBSCENE ANATOMY.” Oh wait. First, define what the meaning of “IS” is [while she purses her lips and owns one of the largest handbags of the Democrat Party – her husband].
[Sorry, I neglected to capture the links for those images. If anyone knows the sources I’ll post them here. Getty Images don’t count.]
The Door Is Closed. Now What?
YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO CHOOSE CORRECTLY.
UNMARKED BUTTONS RELEASE THE GAS.
THE CLOCK STARTS NOW.
[Found here.]
Another Great Gift Idea: Everyday Is Monday Morning Planter
The forehead staples are kinda cool. [Found here.]
Alabama Country Store Retirement
Yeah. Throw down some crushed rock for parking, get a beer & wine permit, build a porch, buy a couple of chairs, barrels & checker boards, a foosball table, jukebox filled with scratchy 45’s, and maybe some satellite stuff. Live acoustic music on Sunday afternoon. Yeah. I’m there.
[Click for enlarged image. Original undoctored image found here.]
Saturday Matinee: Dontcha Be Talmbout Mama
“Squeeze Box” was recorded by The Who in 1975. No sexual innuendo intended they said. Ya, right, I said.
Frank Zappa & The Mothers, Live at The Roxy, 1973. Wait for the slide trombone solo sans trombone. Early polyrhythmic jazz fusion, whether you like it or not.
“Mama Told Me Not To Come” was written by Randy Newman for Eric Burden and The Animals who recorded & released it in 1967. Very cool song sung partially in Ebonics. The best known version was by Three Dog Night in 1970.
“Mama Said” was recorded by the Shirelles, released in 1961 and became an entirely bitchin’ hit.
Big Mama Thornton was talented and scary at the same time. Even the Chess Brothers said she was nasty, wore scars. Here’s her 1965 rendition of “Hound Dog,” written by Lieber & Stoller.
There’s a little something for everyone on this post. Have a great weekend, and be sure too give your Mamas a great big hug tomorrow. If you don’t, I will.
The .Gif Friday Post No.389 – Raccoon Repays, Rabbit Robs & Bear Burgles
Portland Hipsters Can Eat Me.
No, that’s not a photo shop. It’s a real pig being fed a Bunk sandwich. With minimal sleuthing we determined that the hipsters’ porker is standing on the pristine pavement in front of BUNK Sandwiches 2017 NE Alberta Street, Portland Oregon.
This is not their only venue, and they have a Bunk Truck for catering. Why didn’t they tell me? After all, I’ve already got a cool hip logo for lease or rent:
BTW, Google Maps Street View captured this Babe Magnet parked across the street from Bunk’s.
[Top image sent via email. Muchisimas Grassyass, Russ.]
Happy Cinco de Mayo, but this is just embarrassing.
Cosas como esta son tan vergonzoso que yo ni siquiera voy a enviar un enlace a esos imbéciles, pero ¡Felices fiestas!
[Otros mensajes similares son aquí.]
Big Ol’ Green Honkin’ Hot Links
Russian landslide is creepy [via].
Vote for Gil Fulbright [via]. He’s as honest as honest can get. Honest.
Vote for Josh. He’s even more honest than Gil.
Yep. Pretty sure that was the first animated .gif.
Conceptual Ambient Sound Art. I made it to 02:45.
This is kinda fun: The Daily Potato News.
Life Is Beautiful (1997) is a movie that everyone of all ages should see IMO.
His great achievement in life involves rolling a ball.
“What do you think you are?! I am!” What a dork.
THIS is awesome. A Rockabilly tribute to The Ramones.
[Top image of Disco Kermit with a ‘fro from here.]
Tacky Raccoons 