[Image from here. .Gif from here. Video previously posted here with awesome commentary. Long Live the King.]
Category: True Stories
Merry Christmas, America. Hope you like crap.
Thanks. Thanks a lot, you gutless clueless corrupt morons.
From CNN at 11:40PM:
Washington (CNN) — Senate Democrats braved the aftermath of a blizzard Sunday to continue their push to pass a sweeping health care bill before Christmas.
Right. They were standing in the snow, shivering, while the Republicans kept the doors shut. Phew.
[Update 9:06PM: LIVE FEED HERE.]
[Update 10:24PM: 60-40. Wimps. Thank you, too, Mr. Lieberman.]
Saturday Matinee – Simpsons in Estonia, How to Make Candy Canes, Sleigh Ride, Darlene Love with the E Street Band
Another Simpsons opening scene re-enactment, from ESTONIA!
[Found here.]
How candy canes are made. Very cool. [Found here].
Bunky just can’t get into the Christmas Spirit until he hears the Ronettes’ version of “Sleigh Ride.”
Unfortunately, the best vids of that song have been pulled, and we just can’t bring ourselves to post a video of a vinyl record spinning on a turntable, or worse, a picture of an album cover (losers). BUT, we’re certainly willing to post THIS version. Screw the copyright Scrooges.
So here’s a compromise, a Christmas song with Darlene Love, backed by the E-Street Band (with video splices from, um, “Home Alone“).
Nancy Reagan & Friend
ALL YOUR HOT LINK ARE BELONG TO US
[Image above found here.]
List of everything reported to be affected by Global Warming Climate Change (with links!) here.
US Unemployment animation from January 2007 through September 2009. Not good.
Laptop Steering Wheel Desk. Read the reviews, click on the pictures to see it in use.
Bad Spock Drawings (link found here).
Nurse Myra mentioned that she wears this perfume.
Zoom.
How many people are in space right now? Click to find out.
I really don’t want to know the story behind this.
Day of Infamy – 7 December 1941
4th Place – Not bad for less than a quarter horse
Not bad for a horse with a good handicap.
Here’s how Bunk plays the ponies. Have a friend with you, and look for the posted odds in the Racing Form for each race. Pick horses in the 1-7 through 1-15 range. Get in line to post your bets. [More below the break.]
Continue reading “4th Place – Not bad for less than a quarter horse”
Capybara Lapwarmer
“Capybara sits on a lady’s knee;
Merry, merry king of the bushy sea.
Lap, capybara! Lap, capybara!
Warm my lap for me.”
Oh wait. That’s the kookaburra song. Australia, Argentina, what’s the difference. Nevermind.
In any case, that’s a big ‘ol honkin’ rodent she’s got there. Think twice or more before you decide that they’re just large guinea pigs:
“Do not let the capys out unless it is within a pen. They will run…they are very fast. It’s best to put the carrier in the pen and open the door. You may have to dump it out because it will hide as far back in the carrier as it can get.
“Remember … this wild animal will go in all directions to get away. It will hit the fence several times, settle and start walking the fence to find a way out. If they have a source of water that will be the first place it will go. If there is a sign of danger in the wild capys escape to the water. They will hide under and around objects.
“Do not concern yourself if they do not eat for a day. Give them a corn on the cob and they will start eating. Any fruits/veggies are fine for them to eat. They need to be fed twice a day with treats around for them to snack on if they get hungry
“They rest a lot during the day and are more active in the evenings. They often have runny stools… do not worry as it is what they eat.
“Do not grab them by the hind legs as you might dislocate a leg. Hold them with your hand and arm under their belly and hand under their neck. Cuddle them and they will settle.”
Note that she’s got a towel to protect herself from runny capyoopsies. Definitely don’t want to mess up that fine upholstery either.
[Image found in here. Quotation found in here.]
[Update 10:30AM – The Capybara Posting Police are out. See comments below for clarifications.]
[Update 2: We’ve added a special blog category just for you Capy fans.]
Update 3: Here is Caplin Rous (the one in the photo) in action.
Saturday Matinee Bonus: UFO Eyewitness
Potato/Carrot Weaponry 101
[Plans above found here.]
Yep. That’s the way the old timers did it, but thanks to modern technology, i.e., the invention of the ballpoint pen, there’s an easier way, the way we did it in HiSkool.
Get a ballpoint pen with a brass ink cartridge, the skinny kind. Cut both ends (as the open end has a lip) with the cutter of your needle-nose pliers. Then with the pliers, make the ends round again. [Figs. 1 & 2]
Take the tube to the sink, and run hot water over it to soften the ink. Blow out the ink to clear the tube, and set aside.
Go find a wire coat hanger with a diameter that fits into the ink tube, and cut a straight section 1-3/4 times the length of the tube.
Now here’s the technical part. With your pliers, bend the wire into an “L” shape, with the longer leg just a tad longer than the metal tube. [Figs. 3 & 4].
Got it? Now put your pliers away and get a thumb-sized piece of carrot. Take the tube and jam the end into the side of the carrot. Pull it out at a slight angle, and you should have a nice little plug in the end of the tube. Now do the same thing with the other end [Fig 5].
Insert the tip of the bent clothes hanger wire into one end of tube, pushing one of the carrot plugs in slightly. Your weapon is now locked and loaded. Hold the tube with your first and second fingers, and push the plunger with your thumb.
By pushing one plug toward the other, pressure builds, and the end plug will shoot about 10 to 15 feet with amazing accuracy. The carrot “bullets” are about 1/16″ diameter x 1/8″ long. Since only one plug pops, you still have one in the chamber, so you only have to re-load another primer plug to fire again.
Aim for the cheek or neck, not the eyes, on an unsuspecting victim ten or more feet away. A quiet pop, a bite of carrot wetness, and subsequent confusion is your reward.
[Next project: Instant Metallic Farts. Remind me.]
Tacky Raccoons 