Tag: Wrong

‘Tis The Season to HEY! STFU!

Ah yes. The Spirit of Christmas, and the making of a psychopath.

[Found here.]

Fixing an Embarassing Dog Fro


Sorry, it’s just wrong. It can’t be fixed, even if you say it’s cool. I’d rather see marmaduke mullets than canine q-tips.

[Related post here.]

BTW, according to WorpDress stats, this is the 1,800th post on Tacky Raccoons since 3 August 2007, and I didn’t steal it from anybody! BoogahBoogah!

Nothing Much Happened Today.

[Found here.]

Hindsight

Cheeky sculpture by Seymore Butz? Looking through the rearview in a two-seater? Booty in the eye of the beholder? See bottoms? When the moon hits your eye? Buttinskis? Crackhead?  Eigel Asses?

Don’t be bummed; you won’t be left behind. We’ve got your backside covered.

[Found here.]

How To Win At Hoseface

Oh, man, this is a game I’d fight to get in on.  I don’t care if it was manufactured and sold by Hasbro, Milton Bradley, Ohio Art or Whammo, the pure psychological strategy of this simple game is awesome.

First step is to show up to the party early. Then get the ante to a decent level, and once the pot is there, that’s when you talk about how you practiced with the set earlier. Of course you don’t remember which color you practiced with, as you start sniffling and hacking a bit. (Complaining about a slight fever helps.) Then start the game immediately, and without hesitation, hock up a loogie into the trash can.

Gentlemen’s rules say anyone who quits forfeits the pot. INSTANT WIN!

[Found here.]

Holiday Hot Links

Awesomely creepy holiday photos… here.

Kim Jong-Il looking at things [via Presurfer].

Mobile movie theater is solar powered.

Ultimate Hot Wheels.

Do NOT taunt the boxing bag.

Curtis Got Slapped – Forty Pages of Demands For Reparations. Awesome.

Print all your documents with a coffee stain watermark.

Spider threatens itself, drives itself away [via].

Bad Attitude.

He’s already mad that he was punished for giving the cat a peanut butter facial, and now he’s upping the ante. Just primal human nature to take a bad situation and make it worse… kinda like the current administration. [Image found in here.]

Swiss Army Crapper

“Honey, it locked up again and I’ve gotta go, real bad.”

There’s something about designers who insist on taking a concept that works and trying to fix it. Just because it’s different, doesn’t necessarily make it better, and this is a great example.

Yeah, it looks cool, and it takes up less space than a regular bathroom with a toilet and a shower, but look closer at what it takes away.

  • The floor and all walls of the room need to be waterproofed, and it has to have a floor drain.
  • All electrical fixtures, switches and outlets need to be waterproof, too.
  • The floor is always cold. And wet.
  • Forget mildew problems. Now you have water deposits to clean.
  • To clean it, you need a ladder… and machine oil.
  • No grooming mirror in front of the lavatory so you might as well do it in a dark closet.
  • The toilet seat will always be wet. No furry seat cover cozies for you!
  • Forget about a toilet paper dispenser. You better remember to fish it out of the linen cabinet every time.
  • Women have no countertop space to display all 31 beauty enhancement products and accouterments.
  • Men have no place to set their beer while they pee into the floor drain.

Now, if it had a single button that springs everything into a usable configuration, that might be cool, except when the power goes out. In other words, it’s another great example of pure efficient genius.

[Found here, crossposted here, with a Tip o’ the Tarboosh to Snork.]

Babe Magnet for a Johnson

Whoa. Look what we’ve got here. A gen-u-ine Babe Magnet owned by someone who doesn’t know how to park.  After much deliberation here at TR HQ, the vote was split 6 to 5 in favor of awarding the coveted title of BM to this large scale version of a 12-year old’s customized Revelle model of a 1973 Chevy Impala ragtop. Pure efficient genius.

The question comes down to what type of person would drive such a PullMeOverNow car? A teenager would love it, but that’s unlikely due to the lack of moola factor, and someone in their 30s wouldn’t be seen standing next to it.  Early twenties with some serious expendable cash is as good a guess as any.

Unlike the other Babe Magnets we’ve dissected here, we know who the owner of this Tupperware-lid-wheeled ear of corn is.  Without cheating, try to guess  what he does for a living and how much he makes. Leave your assessment in the comments. The answer with links is below the break. Continue reading “Babe Magnet for a Johnson”

Eat Me.

Vegan purists won’t eat meat because they believe that eating things that are even barely sentient don’t deserve to be eaten. Beef, sheep, goats, pigs, poultry, etc. are out  as are products, like milk, butter, yogurt and eggs. So are fish, shrimp, and other crustaceans.

I’m okay with that. Keeps the demand down so I can eat more for less money.

So, meat is definitely out. There’s no question that plants, although they have no central brains, also feel distress when maimed or killed for human consumption. Therefore we shouldn’t eat them either, as they deserve life, too.

Algea? No. They’re plants. Bacteria? No. They respond to stimuli as well. So what’s left? Cannibalism.

Cannibalism is out for the same reasons as basic veganism. This leaves rocks.

Well, you can’t eat rocks because the ancients (and some folks in Berkeley) believe they hold the souls of our ancestors, and are therefore off the menu as well. Lava? Nope. It’s the blood and soul of volcanoes, and they harbor spirits as well.

Hmmm. That leaves only one thing left to consume. Beer.

And to the first commenter that mentions yeast, or hops and barley, eat me.

[Image from here.]