Category: New Snot

Rubik’s Cephalopod

Dorset, UK (Strutts News Services) – British scientists on an after-hours bender decided that the world needs to know if octopi are ambidextrous or prefer one tentacle over the rest.  The problem was to decide on a procedure.

“If they’re so bloody smart, LET’S GIVE THE SLIMY BASTARDS RUBIK’S CUBES!” blurted one, and after another round of scrumpy, the panel agreed.

Once they recovered from their collective hangovers, they collected 25 octopi and 25 Rubik’s Cubes and let the games begin.  Scientist Bonnie Phumph of the Sea Life Centre in Weymouth, Dorset, remarked, “It’ll be very interesting to see the results,” apparently referring to the government research grant money.

No news yet on the success of the cephalopod subjects’ cerebral solutions, although an early leaked report indicates that two of the tentacled brainiacs peeled off the colored labels in frustration, and a third dismantled its Cube and cracked the smaller cubes into fragments.

[Image and original story from here.  Related posts here, here and here.]

Humor-Blogs.com

Abandoned Baby Survives Weeks on Nothing But Cheetos

Lengua Chucha, Mexico (Strutts News Services) – Standing a mere 6-inches tall at the withers, this lil’ pup was hatched a few days after his momma lost interest and wandered from the nest.  Finding an open cache of Cheetos that had washed up on the beachhead, lil’ pup was found chowing down on the fluorescent orange morsels.

Since then he’s been moved to a foster shelter, where his diet has been augmented with Big Macs and Super Size Fries, and he is expected to reach 2,500 lbs.  (average weight for his age) by the end of the month.  Way to go, Lil’ Pup!

[Image from here. Related posts here, here and maybe there.]

Humor-Blogs.com

Heavy Weather Station

Although this was found on a Russian website, it came with this attached description:

The Tornado Intercept Vehicle just east of Kearney, NE, on I-80, May 29, 2008. The TIV is a vehicle specifically designed for storm chaser Sean Casey and follows Josh Wurman’s Project Rotate radar crew, currently being filmed for a documentary by the Discovery Channel.

[Image from here via here.]

First Known Earth Fart Discovered (and Ignited); Gas Burns for Decades


DARVAZ’ HELLFIRE
Soviets found an earth fart and lit it.
Uzbekistan, Ukraine – (Strutts News Services)

According to various reports, a massive gas vent was discovered and subsequently ignited in 1973 by Soviet geologists in search of other stuff.  Some sources indicate that the global flatulence may have been ignited earlier than was initially reported.  From the amazing website English Russian:

“This place in Uzbekistan is called by locals “The Door to Hell”. It is situated near the small town of Darvaz. The story of this place lasts already for 35 years. Once the geologists were drilling for gas. Then suddenly during the drilling they have found an underground cavern, it was so big that all the drilling site with all the equipment and camps got deep deep under the ground. None dared to go down there because the cavern was filled with gas. So they ignited it so that no poisonous gas could come out of the hole, and since then, it’s burning, already for 35 years without any pause. Nobody knows how many tons of excellent gas has been burned for all those years but it just seems to be infinite there.”

Local immigrant resident Joey “Boris” Catawba summed it up.  “I’ve lived here for almost 10 years.  Everything always smells like burnt cheese and vinegar.  Someone should do something.  This really sucks.”

[More images here.]

EVABODY SAY “AARRRRGGGHHH!!”

Apparently, there’s a Russian holiday, where veterans of the Frontier Guard (looks to me to be about a dozen of ’em) get to cavort in fountains and drink lots and lots of vodka. Like this guy:

“ARE—YOU—READY—–TO RHUMBA?!”

No doubt about it. Russkies know how to party. AARRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!

[More images of the festivities here, via here.]

Iran Photoshops Missile Launch

Here is the Photoshopped version of Iran’s missile launch released this past week:

Here is the original undoctored image:

Any questions?

[Images from a site that is, um, no longer proper to link to.]

Arte y Pico Award

Tacky Raccoons Central was just notified that my fellow blogger and good ‘ol boy from down under Aussie Phil presented us with the coveted Arte Y Pico Award.  Here’s how it works.

If you receive this prestigious award, upon acceptance, you are required to post these original rules:
1) You must pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award, based upon creativity, design, interesting material, and that also contribute to the blogger community, no matter what language.
2) Each award must have the name of the author with a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
3) Award-winners must show the award and put the name and link to the blog that awarded it.
4) Award-winners and the one who has given the prize must show the link to the Arte y Pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5) These rules must be included in your post.
Since there is a limit of only five blogs that I can nominate out of many that I visit regularly and some have already been nominated, please do not feel slighted if I left your excellent blog off the list.
Statistics should catch up with you within a few generations of this post anyway.
So here we go, in alphabotanical order (no drumroll, just rimshots):
And to top it off, we’re all invited to Phil’s Phun House this weekend to celebrate. Don’t show up empty handed, and make sure you leave the toilet seat up after you’re done peeing on it.

Bunk Has Left the Building – (temporarily)

[Image from here via GrowABrain.]

Folks–

I’ve been summoned for duty in the destitution and abject horror of the warzone known as the City of Cincinnati.

In my absence, I’ve put Marshal Finicky Penguin in charge of this website, to post and monitor your kind comments, until my glorious return on Sunday, 6 July 2008.

Marshal Penguin is a good guy, if not a little odd, but I ask that you treat him with the same lack of respect that you would treat me. He was kind enough to deputize me to blogsit his website recently (Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Soda).

Although I kinda sorta left his website in slight disarray, it was still intact when he returned, so I’m returning the favor with my fingers crossed. I’ve pre-posted a few things, and left him some draft posts to play with. I trust the Marshal as if he were my own ugly stepchild.

Here’s a very cool video via Arbroath to hold y’all through the transition. See y’all on the 6th. I’m outta here.

Bunk

P.S. Here are the keys, Marshal. Don’t lend ’em out.

Feral Wombat Avoids Capture After Emerging From the Sub-Cutaneous Protocranial Region of Amy Winehouse’s Head

Pendlemont Turnstile East, England (Strutts News Services)

In an unprecedented feat of unnatural chamomile and a verified act of a genuine changeling, singer Amy Winehouse successfully produced a live wombat from her head, with neither provocation nor warning Thursday, in front of three of her four close friends (two of which didn’t show).

Due to years of self-inflicted mental and physical abuse, Ms. Winehouse came forward and admitted to Senior Reporter Bonnie Phumph (Strutts News Services) that she had indeed succeeded in her ongoing mind-altering experiments.

“It’s only natural that I should produce apparitions like this. I see them all the time, and it’s about time you did, too,” stated the formerly attractive Ms. W.

The unusually coloured black wombat emerged, scratched itself a bit, and wandered off into the hinterlands of the internest; Ms. Winehouse quietly followed and retired for a three-day nap prior to wandering off herself.

[Original undoctored image from here. Related post here.]

Hotski Linkskis

Amazing mnemonics are archived in the comments section here, including this excellent non-sequitur from Miss Cellania:

“Thirty days hath September
April, June, and no wonder
All the rest eat peanut butter
Except Grandma,
She rides a bicycle.”

I’m not related to Bunk Johnson as far as you know, but you can hear, here.

Visit the exact center of the internet. Be sure to click on it.

Dr. Diabetes (via Diesel).

Les Swazzo’s DooWop Cove Radio has live DJs with a wide variety of tastes/programming style from early ’50s through the ’60s. Excellent, and if you send in a request, tell Les that Bunky sent you.

THIS is one amazing web page. By the time you read this, I’ll have already stolen and posted some .gif’s from it. Simple, but with animations en masse.

See the Tacky Raccoons website as a map. Then load up your own and watch it bloom. [via GrowABrain].

Odd forest of Plantage.

Giant squidgoatse… here.

Make your own animated kaleidoscope.

New talent spotted: Cool Aggregator has a good eye for quality webmining; he linked to TR. (Y’all should follow his example and link here, too.)

Jen at Casual Slack has a nice tribute to Mel Blanc, who would’ve been a h-h-h-h-undred years old Friday 20 May 2008.

Go for it, dude. Macho Macho cones here.

Wanna be part of a new Guiness World Record? Click here for details. I’m in.

ATTENTION WORDPRESS BLOGGERS: RIPOFF ALERT: As this website is approaching its domain name renewal date, we received a notice via snailmail from a company called “LibertyNames of America” of Niagra Falls NY. They offered to renew the domain name for $29.00 for a year’s registration. WordPress offers the same renewal for $15.00 via email notice with link to PayPal. Sump’m just don’t feel right. If you’ve received a similar message, let WordPress know.

[Update:  Apparently this is a common scam, discussed here.]