Category: New Snot

The ScenicBruiser: Another One Rides The Bust

Roll up for The Tragical History Tour of all 57 States on The STIMUBUS!

To be fair, that’s the tour bus from when Obama was campaigning for President Senator Governor Mayor Teacher Community Activist, and we apologize for the innocuous snark – NOT. It appears that he’s envious of someone else’s bus tour (whose name we won’t mention, but her initials are Sarah Palin).

Doug Ross@Journal posted what is purportedly a sketch of Obama’s ScenicBruiser, but it’s intuitively obvious to the casual observer that the image was cropped [view original here; click on the image below to enlarge].

The original image was definitely cropped as it eliminated the trailer labeled “Fox” at the rear. At first we thought that it might be Michelle’s private trailer, but everyone knows that her caboose is much bigger. Therefore it must refer to FOX News, installed as a design afterthought, with a hydraulic pin to make it easy to disconnect. (And, yes, the steering wheel is on the wrong side, as Obama cruises on the left.)

[Crossposted from here.]

Monday Paparrazi

This image has been sitting around in the cooler for too long. Rather than dump it, this is for the Monday Morning Warriors who make it all happen.

[Found here.]

64.7% of Non-Registered Eligible Voters Support a 3rd Party


[via]
According to a recent survey conducted by StruttsPolls™ a large majority of 22 year-old white male non-registered eligible voters would support a 3rd party because they couldn’t remember the first two.

64.7% of the non-registered voters polled in Rudy’s backyard last weekend said that they’d register to vote if the Party Party was established. The remaining 35.3% wavered between the Toga Party and the Hot Chicks Naked In Jacuzzis With Beer Party.
[Story courtesy Strutts News Services.]

The Creature Unmasked

Check this out.

Now look at this:

Proof. The Creature From The Black Lagoon was Mickey Dolenz.

[Images found here and here.]

WTF Boots

My guess was that they are stunt riders, riding backwards and using the tips of their boots as spurs. Heh. I was wrong.

According to the link below, this fad is more popular in the U.S. than it is south of the border.

[Image found here. For video explanation, click here.]

Steamboat McGoo says “Adios Amoebas.”

It’s a quiet day in the blogosphere when one of my favorite bloggers decides to call it quits. Steamboat McGoo has already poured acetone on Aardvarks & Asshats and melted all threads prior to January 2011. (A&A was always my first stop after Drudge. Go figger.)

Here’s to you, McGoo. May you continue to piss fire on whatever is in your way. –Bunk

[Update 4 March 2011: A big fat birdy just told me that the site may be changing hands. Film at 11.]

2010 in review (according to WordPress)

This was sent to us by the wonderful folks at WordPress who provide us with a free platform to spread our flavor of fun. This is blogwhoring at its best, especially because it’s done by someone else.
[Whoa. Something ain’t right here: “The busiest day of the year was June 28th with 4 views.” Bigass FAIL there, WP! 2,081 is a tad closer!]

Check it out:

__________________________________________________

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 240,000 times in 2010. If it were an exhibit at The Louvre Museum, it would take 10 days for that many people to see it.

In 2010, there were 395 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 1443 posts. There were 794 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 314mb. That’s about 2 pictures per day.

The busiest day of the year was June 28th with 4 views. The most popular post that day was The .Gif Friday Post No. 129 – Compound Pendulum, Nematode, Catslide.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were stumbleupon.com, en.wordpress.com, mentalfloss.com, ogdaa.blogspot.com, and nodwick.humor.gamespy.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for ferret, motivational poster, science fair projects, gif animation, and steampunk.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

The .Gif Friday Post No. 129 – Compound Pendulum, Nematode, Catslide May 2010
11 comments

2

Amy’s Motivational Poster Collection June 2009
7 comments

3

LOL FERRET: Episode 1 November 2007
24 comments

4

Giant Woolly Bear Caterpillar Discovered Near Las Cruces, NM, Predicts Global Warming for Decades to Come December 2007
82 comments

5

How to REALLY piss off a golden retriever January 2010
4 comments

The Alpacas Are Sprouting

With all the recent rains here, our spring alpacas are already poking their heads up through the southwestern tundra. Very endurable and self-fertilizing, alpacas are the new cash crop. It’s too late to plant this season, but plow them in around late March to early May and you’ll be glad you did.

[Found here.]

Frank Tends The Machine

For those of you who have never run across the artwork of Jim Woodring, you’re missing out on some of the most surreal (and sometimes disturbing) pen and inkwork that I’ve seen. Woodring based a lot of his subject matter on hallucinations he had as a child, and decided to record them on paper.

His most recognizable character is Frank, a good guy who goes on bizarre adventures, often accompanied by Madame Pupshaw (sort of a cat) and Pushpaw (sort of a dog). None of the characters speak.

We’ve posted some of Woodring’s work previously. He did me a nice favor once, so I don’t mind suggesting that you visit his store for unusual gifts for the hard to get folk.

[Crossposted here.]

Another Great Gift Idea: Pure Class

[For the sake of anonymity, we’ve blunked out the eyes in a very amateurish fashion so you don’t accuse us of photoshopoopage… and no, that’s not me.]

Let’s compare these two photos.

The guy on the left is despondent, bummed out about everything in his miserable little life. Stuck with a wardrobe full of green and gray, the person who took the photo had such little respect for him that she deliberately offset the negative karma with her thumb.

Contrast that with the photo on the right.

The guy on the right is obviously very successful and satisfied with his lot in life, and enjoys it immensely. And he has an adult beverage camouflaged as coffee when it’s intuitively obvious to the casual observer that it’s a cup full o’ jack.

Why are we posting such an incredible story of success here? Because you too can become successful, and it’s also the start of the holiday season.

Click on either of the images above and they’ll take you to a CafePress store where you can purchase lots of wonderful things. We don’t make any money on the sales, but a percentage of the sales price goes directly to charity.

When you place your orders, tell Christopher Y. that Bunk sent you, and I bet you’ll get a discount.

If you don’t see what you want, lemme know in the comments and we’ll respond. If  you need a custom design, we can do it with short notice.

And there was something else I was gonna say about being an amateur blogwhore, but I lost my train of thought…

[Update– Czech out Amy’s Store, too.]