We are now somewhere between 12 and 24. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Serious Statistics_FFFFOUND

[Serious statistical analysis from here via here.]

A Nice Country Village by the Sea

zoom-out

Some day, when my kids are grown and on their own, and I’m looking for a place to retire with the lovely and gracious Mrs. Strutts,  I’d like a nice country village in a temperate climate, maybe near the ocean.  A place to let the world pass by without traffic, without paved roads, without telemarketers.

tristan_da_cunha4A place I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted;  stay up late and sleep in as long as I liked.  And blog via satellite.

Maybe set up a little bed and breakfast stop for tourists and travellers, with a wine and cheese shop with tacky homemade postcards and hand-screened purple t-shirts. Maybe a place like this.  Or not. Click here, or click the top image, then zoom out.

[Link found at this amazing site.]

Sock Puppetry

sockpuppet

Last week, VE (of VE’s Fantastical Nonsense) went on vacation, and axed yours truly and several others to serve as Sock Puppets, to post and respond to comments as VE.  (Bunk had fun on Earth Day.)

VE returned and fessed up today…  in a moment,  the rest of the story

Johann Tetris – 1928-2009

tetris-construction_saving-stuff-090417

Cartersville, GA  (Strutts News Services) – Even in an economic downturn, many businesses flourish. Tetris Constructions is one of them. Regardless, Johann “Joe” Tetris died yesterday afternoon of natural causes, succumbing to HSB.  HSB is known to laymen as “He Stopped Breathing.”

Johann Tetris 1993 TED Convention (Strutts News Services Archive Photo)
Johann Tetris at 1993 TED Conference (Strutts News Services Archive Photo)

TC founder Tetris was born into poverty but not by choice.  He’d intended to be born into wealth, but those dreams were squelched by economic forces beyond his control.  Ever since birth, Tetris fought to rise above the dirt-floor/waxed-paper windows of his childhood to create one of the most lasting icons of the “Information Age.”  That icon would be Tetris Constructions.

Tetris’ work is recobanized throughout the civilized world as cutting edge modular construction:  fast paced, low cost, rarely finished, but in Tetris’ own inimitable iconic style.

Some call it brutal. Others are both alarmed and enthralled at the possibilities and potentials of the breakneck speed of real-time design, combined with the willy-nilly construction system that Tetris Constructions promotes.

The TC motto sums it up: “We Build Faster than an Honest European Lunchbreak.”  Johann Tetris will be missed by many, but his legacy endures.

– Janessa Vapors (Strutts News Services)

[Found here.]

Tweety Bird Dead at 67

tweety-shows-her-age_phils-phun-090411

Palm Springs, California (Strutts News Services) – Long admired yet not forgotten, Robert “Tweety Bird” Balderstien passed away at the age of 67 at his ranch home in Palm Desert, Southern California.

Robert Svenson Balderstien, hatched in 1942 in Suffolk, Massachusetts, by immigrant parents, adapted to the stage early, despite his hydrocephelitic condition. Contrary to popular belief, his medical condition did not cause his speech impediment, and for years he battled the stereotype.

Balderstien also rejected the contention that he was female, and fought the resulting insinuations and innuendos all his life before retiring in seclusion in Palm Desert, California.

sylvester-tweety“I never said, ‘I tawt I taw a puddy tat.’  I have perfect enunciation, but Warner Brothers chose to overdub my voice, and I was stuck with it ever since.”

Longtime friend and companion, Sylvester The Cat, also of Palm Desert, gave a touching eulogy that ended with, “Yeah.  I’ll mith him the motht. He alwayth thought he thaw me, and motht timeth he motht thertainly did.”

[Image from here.  Related obituary here.]

The Calvinball Sports Complex

fair-field_inspire-me-now

Hobbesville, North Carolina (Strutts News Services) – The importance of the coin toss increases a googlefold in the Calvinball Arena, but is negated by the hydraulics that control the field allowing line judges to place competing bets while manipulating field conditions, including windstorms and artificial rain.  All players may or may not be line judges, and there may be as many line judges as players, including none.  Every player is a referee and may interpret any other referee’s call while placing bets with the line judges. Video review is frequently used for re-interpretation of The Rules without stopping play.

For more on Calvinball, Mentalfloss has a pretty good description with links.

[Image from here.]

28 MARCH 8:30PM – PARTY LIKE IT’S 2009

Earth HourLet’s celebrate!

At 8:30PM tonight, make sure you turn all your lights on, power up your TVs and stereos, and celebrate the Technological Achievements of Humanity.  Get in your cars and drive somewhere, just for the sake of it, and just for fun.  Raise and lower your garage doors, and run your washing machines.  Run the dryer without anything in it.  Got a power mower? Crank it up.  Heat up your cat’s food  in the microwave.  Take your dog out to Burger King.  Make as many long distance telephone calls as you can.  Run your dishwasher with half of the normal load, and run the other half separately.  Open up your refrigerator door, and look without removing anything to eat.  Do it again.  Download updates for all your computer programs and email them to all your friends.

LET’S CELEBRATE AMAZING ACHIEVEMENTS FOR A CHANGE!

“But why should I do that?” you ask.  I’ll tell you.

We’re fighting Global Cooling.  Mostly we’re fighting Global Idiocy, but let’s call it Global Cooling for now.  The feel-good crowd will never know the difference anyway.

Those folks who think that turning their electricity off for an hour will “save the planet” (or “send a message” to someone or something) are the same folks who stood outside their homes a couple of years ago with candle wax dripping over their fingers, believing that the space shuttle was gonna zoom by and take a photo of the earth lit up with peace candles.  My message is:

PUT YOUR LIGHTS ON!

HOT NEWS FLASH: Global Warming Was Stopped In Its Slimy Little Tracks in 1998

global-warming-protest_halbot-mail-090207

Washington D.C. (Strutts News Services) – Global warming came to a screeching halt for the sweaty huddling masses that converged upon our nation’s capitol on Wednesday, 4 March 2009 (ironically a day after Microsoft issued its Service Pack 3 update that froze the computers here at TR HQ).

According to one source found via Drudge:

“Global warming activists stormed Washington Monday for what was billed as the nation’s largest act of civil disobedience to fight climate change — only to see the nation’s capital virtually shut down by a major winter storm.

Schools and businesses were shuttered, lawmakers cancelled numerous appearances and the city came to a virtual standstill as Washington was blasted with its heaviest snowfall of the winter.

It spelled about six inches of trouble for global warming activists who had hoped to swarm the Capitol by the thousands in an effort to force the government to close the Capitol Power Plant, which heats and cools a number of government buildings, including the Supreme Court and the Capitol.

The snowy scene, with temperatures in the mid-20s, was reminiscent of a day in January 2004, when Al Gore made a major address on global warming in New York — on one of the coldest days in the city’s history.

Protest organizers said about 2,500 people braved the blizzard to oppose greenhouse gas emissions, but the shroud of snow wasn’t the only wet blanket in the nation’s capital Monday.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who called on the architect of the Capitol to stop burning coal at the power plant last week, cancelled her appearance at the rally because her flight to Washington was cancelled.

Michelle Obama canned a public “Read Across America” event and HUD Secretary Shaun Donovan canceled a meeting with the Democratic Caucus because the members of Congress couldn’t get to D.C. An honor cordon at the Pentagon for Afghanistan’s defense minister also had to be called off.

Some protesters couldn’t make it as dozens of flights in the area were delayed or called off, and some couldn’t face the dangerous roads or blustery weather, leaving hundreds safe, if sorry, back at home.”

Let’s sum this up:

Due to the freezing temperatures, civil disobediancers could not be civilly disobedient;  Vandals weren’t able to vandalize the HVAC systems serving many buildings employing thousands of people; Members of congress suddenly became invisible; Nancy Pelosi thinks the Architect of the Capitol shovels coal; Michelle Obama couldn’t read due to the cold; HUD couldn’t formulate more plans for taxpayer-funded housing, and Afganistan’s defense minister is all humpy because he was snubbed.

Meanwhile Al Gore reluctantly admitted that meteorologists and other climate scientists are not credible on the topic of global warming, as none of the nay-sayers have government research funding, and none have served as vice president in any country, province or protectorate.

Pheew.

[Image from here. Related globaloids and stuff here.]

Decaying Orbit Dooms Space Station

space-station-falls-from-orbit_yda-060905

Randolph WI (Strutts News Services) –  All orbits decay over time, which means that satellites can fall, and France’s  Maison de L’orbite space station is no exception.

The experimental prototype, built in the early 1960’s and launched last April, officially brought France into the Space Age with little fanfare.  Presently orbiting at 500 feet, it’s orbit is decaying at the rate of 2.7 inches per day, and is expected to return to earth sometime in 2015.

[Image from here via here.]

Obama’s Army

APTOPIX India Obama Inauguration Global Reax

We want the world and we want it now.  More globes, please.

[Image from VE.]